The problems we face due to autism/Asperger's

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I find the daily challenges we face to be trivialized. As we're growing up as kids, we try to identify ourselves so we can live the best lives as possible.

Now suppose the day your parents or yourself finds out about your disability. Although it's common to be relieved, we all know the ambivalent feelings we experienced once the information was disclosed. However no matter how hard we try to explain what's going on within our minds, or at least think about how to go about disclosing our personal issues to our friends, relatives, employees, employers, teachers and other professionals (i.e.- the dentist, dermentologist, doctor, etc...), it seems no one will understand where we're coming from.

Can anyone think of reasons why no one seems to listen to us?

Is it because we're wired differently compared to NTs?
Now that's our #1 mistake! What one with a disability needs to do is learn how to accept it and move on. Be yourself. Stand up for yourself. BUT WAIT!! !! !!..............[and another 700 page-layout-disrupting periods removed by lau]
What if the real problems are that our abstract reasoning skills and expressive and/or receptive language skills are off as I've been told by a couple professionals who are experts on the autistic spectrum? No, I'm not talking about the Mixed Receptive-Expressive Language Disorder impairment that I'm quite certain I have. What I'm saying is that most people don't know what it's like to be autistic, so if the way we expressed ourselves when we were attempting to advocate for ourselves came out in a weird way to others, such as attempting to explain why we need repetitive routines, how could we expect them to understand where we are coming from? Is it REALLY because we're not NT in the same sense Macs and PCs are a bit different?

You want to know the truth? Many of us cannot express such a complex disability if we're impaired in our ability to communicate in a back-and-forth dialogue fluently while using the social-communication pragmatic skills a typical person is able to use. Those on the higher end of the spectrum, mild Asperger's in particular, tend to appear okay and intelligent when interacting with others, but in reality they feel overloaded to the point they cannot continue getting through the day because deep down they're getting 'lost' in the conversation but don't want to ask for clarification because they may feel 'stupid' and have to justify the situation. Perhaps they do or have asked for clarification and have tried to explain what it's like for them, but no one was able to understand where they were coming from. One, for example, may receive remarks such as, "Alright! Enough already! You made your point," yet how do they know if we made it clear enough for them to understand it the way WE want them to? Only if you find the right professional you can trust, whether it's a speech-language pathologist, a social worker, or the right counselor or psychologist for you.

Due to the Mixed Receptive-Expressive Language Disorder and borderline ADHD I have along with my autism, it seems to me my sensory issues diminished completely (particularly my hearing) just barely before I hit adolescence, so this issue that's so concrete to explain to an NT that even a typical young child could verbally explain it, was a piece that wasn't the most major disadvantage of my life.

What about the problems we face when it comes to our need for sameness and repetitive routines? Has anyone ever thought that the reason we need this is because it's difficult for us to follow through on spontaneous tasks throughout an entire day daily and remember what we saw on a particular episode of a TV series when it comes time to have a conversation about it? Do autistics really become obsessed with a few areas of interest? No, it's because we're trying to develop ways of coping with our entertainment and researching on certain subjects and areas of interest as a way of educating ourselves on what we feel and/or believe are missing and lacking knowledge in so we'll feel better about ourselves for believing and feeling like we're ignorant. And you know when the best time for us to partake in these activities is? More and more during the day as we grow up because we feel like giving up and feel so slow in understanding things to the point we feel overloaded and/or not good enough!! ! For those with autistic spectrum disorders other than 'mild Asperger's', it doesn't really feel like we're socially disabled; more like you can't stop thinking about your own disability and what happens to you throughout the day (i.e.- you had to be reminded about something you were already told and you later remember yourself and feel like you want to beat yourself up because you knew it deep down and feel the need to justify yourself; you mispronounced a word but could have said it correctly had you been given enough time to
finish your sentence, or you thought you knew which direction you had to travel but your little brother just had to help you out when you could have figured it out for yourself.....OR MY FAVORITE ONE, actually listening to your brother because you reacted impulsively and/or because he's probably right, yet again, after he was right the last several times despite the fact you could have beaten the level within your own pace, yet quicker than your peers who played video games.....OH WAIT.....WE, growing up, were really only into games like Mario and Mortal Kombat unless your cognitive impairments (particularly in mild Asperger's) are very mild. Even games requiring more strategy (like on Playstation) would be too challenging for many people on the spectrum, or even if they could play, they gotta share with their siblings and find it hard to regulate the social rules, so they may give up on themselves or come up with other strategies to please them).

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that we need to come up with a way to better express our wants and needs so we can live the best lives as possible. We need a counselor or professional to listen to us, know where we're coming from, and even speak to our parents or whoever we need to advocate ourselves to so we don't screw up when it's time for us to talk to them once we're through one or more therapy sessions and not be told by the therapist, "Why should I call your parents? You're an adult!" or "Alright, I'll call your parents," only to realize the therapist did not tell your parents exactly what you wanted him/her to tell them because they're so ignorant!! !! !

You seem to write well enough to advocate for yourself. Don’t get stuck with the disability thoughts, or think you are not good enough. Be yourself and let others deal with it. . I used to worry about doing or saying the wrong thing but I am me and I act like myself. Sometimes I have to apologize for being “eccentric”, but I don’t worry about it much more than hoping I do better next time.

Finding a happy connection of work and area of interest makes life much easier. I have been fortunate enough to have found people to work with who love my obsessions because they help our business run well. My friends invite me along to go places, knowing to speak up for me when my reactions are socially awkward for them. I go to the same stores at the same times so I see the same people, If they can’t deal with me the way I am, I go elsewhere. Since I ended up a regular at the places I go, people accept me and are glad to see me.

All of these people have the same things in common. They don’t care that I am quiet, or use gestures more than words. When I start talking and my explanation turns into a lecture, they are good natured when they say “Enough”. They don't care that I forget things, they remind me.

I chose who is important in my life, and the rest of the people can deal with it. As more and more of us come out of the woodwork, more people find out we exist, and they have to deal with us the way we are. We need to show we can be autistic and self confident at the same time.

Hey Mudboy,

I appreciate your advice but here's the tricky part about my situation:

I know I'm someone who's capable of living a successful, if not a decent life, as long as I don't let my autism get in the way. The problem is that I believe I'm someone who's viewed as not having autism as bad as the majority of people on the spectrum, but those same people who are able to see what I'm like in person do not get the opportunity to see what I'm like in other settings. They also did not observe me as a child and why I grew up to be the individual that I am today.

One of the factors that contributes to why I struggle deep down yet don't always appear that way to others is because I have expressive and receptive language impairments to a degree where I may appear to talk close to normal to someone I feel comfortable around with as long as I have enough time to process information as I'm listening and speaking. However if I come home and see my parents, I may feel "overloaded" or a bit annoyed of the fact that I feel like I didn't get to say exactly what I wanted by using the exact words I wanted to verbalize to them, though that's gotten better with the speech therapy, knowledge and understanding my parents and I are gaining. We've also gained an understanding as to why I have always had trouble following directions, instructions and other pieces of verbal information I'm hearing when my dad is trying to tell me about something that happened at work, or even why I've struggled to find places when driving without the use of my GPS navigator; why I always had to put in double the effort or more to get through school (reading comprehension in particular), and why I didn't feel good enough to my brother for a long time.

As of right now, I'm stuck in a mode where since I'm working on how to follow social-communication skills and pragmatics as best as I can, I'm limited as to how I can communicate until I progress and gain as many of the speech-language skills necessary and stop seeing the therapist. I'll go out with my group members from speech therapy so we can have fun, get aquainted, and work on some skills such as how to pay a restuarant bill and tip using a bunch of strategies so I don't need to spend a bunch of time calculating the exact bill and tip I need to give to the waiter/waitress, working on arriving at the movies or wherever we meet on time, communicating on the cell if one of us is going to be late or if we have to change our plans slightly, and basically having conversations and using the social skills we're being taught by the speech therapist as we're eating in the restaurant and walking around the mall before we watch a movie, for example.

Anyway there's a lot of things to describe about my situation even further, but since I need to take a break from typing all this information on this post, I'll tell you and the rest of WrongPlanet everything else later.

OP, could you remove (or break up) the long row of periods from your first post? It's causing your post
to stretch the screen so people have to scroll back and forth to read it.

I'm using firefox...

I am getting the same issue and using explorer.

I'm also getting the same, as well.

except people being stupid i have no problems

[Removed from subject line to here, by lau: A tip on how to read my long posts with ease]

First of all I realize I write a lot, and I apologize for that. I realize how tough it is for many individuals on the spectrum, including myself, to focus on reading long paragraphs on here and other places online and offline. For me, though, I have more trouble focusing and following through a lot of reading material depending on what the subject is and how much it interests me.

I don't know why the paragraphs I wrote are running past the margin of the post, but what
you could do for the time being is copy the text from my post(s) and paste it onto Notepad.

To find Notepad, click on Start, Select All Programs, and then Accessories if you have Windows. I don't know about the Mac, though, but anyone who's using a Mac could easily find it through using the "search" engine somewhere under the hard drive, programs and accessories menu(s) from the main desktop where the software programs and surrounding wallpaper are (known as the GUI- Graphical User Interface). You could also use an online search engine like Google to research on how to find Notepad, Wordpad or whatever related program the Mac has installed.

For those who aren't familiar with the copy and paste options, what you do is drag the mouse cursor through all the text I wrote, and then right-click on the mouse on any highlighted parts (in blue usually, or black). Once that's done, click on "Copy" or press and hold the Ctrl key and press C as you're holding the Ctrl key down. Once you're under Notepad or anything related to it, right-click on the mouse and select the "Paste" option, or press and hold the Ctrl key and press V as you're holding the Ctrl key down. Now you should be able to adjust the
sentences in each paragraph in the most convenient way for you to read what I typed with more ease.

Once again, I apologize and though I realize many people on the autistic spectrum have vast knowledge of computers, there may be some people who aren't familiar with my suggestion, or they just didn't think about using Notepad while they likely don't use it much to begin with.

Anyway, I'll explain a bit more about my situation soon. It's almost 2am where I live so I'm going to sleep soon and will post tomorrow or Sunday.

The top right of the box with your original post has an edit button. Please use it to delete the periods after "WAIT!! !! !!" That will make these posts easier to read.
As far as your situation, and challenges, you say going to to a restaurant and movies is challenging for you. Let the waitress, and the other people you interact with, see you as you are, The waitresses are patient with me because I tip well. They don't mind that instead of talking to them, I simply point at the item on the menu.
I have enough stress without worrying about messing up in front of people I never met before. The clerks and helpers in the stores get paid to deal with the public. When we go out, we are part of the public. At the store I know I slow the line while I count my money, but that is how I need to do things.

The only problems that I have, is dealing with ignorant people, who want to eliminate us from the gene pool.

Ok, I know what happened. OP stands for "original poster", not "operator" of WrongPlanet.

Yeah, I looked it up under google so I was actually being asked by Callista to edit my post as if she expected me to know what OP stood for. Then MichelleRM78 and CockneyRebel shout out that they're getting the same issue. So it was on Firefox! It was on Explorer! Whoop-dee-doo! Was that even important? Does it make a damn difference which browser you were using?

BTW, it's not my problem if any of you don't want to take the time to scroll the posts or use some other tool to make it easier to read. If you have a problem reading, do you really think it's my responsibility to accommodate you as if you're my students and I'm your instructor? Dang! I can't believe you actually don't see anything wrong with being autistic, yet you struggle with problems I can see all of you have.

As for future autistics being eliminated from the gene pool, what the hell's wrong with that? I'm sure there are infinite souls out there that get transported into whatever body (baby) is
going to be born, and I believe in reincarnation (funny how most autistics believe in that, yet
refuse to cure autism). Even if a cure was available, I'm sure you'd be the first people in line
to get it and you'd still be the same people with the same personality, only without the mental
impairments (except you would still be behind cognitively)!

Oh, and Mudboy.....you don't even know what I'm talking about. What a nice blanket statement
you made assuming you have your own issues that are similar because you're supposedly an aspie.

God, Alex! When are you going to realize how naive you are for believing your site will actually help an Internet community? You know you could be doing better things in your life,
including things that will help build your future resume?

Whatever! I knew I shouldn't have joined WrongPlanet! How the hell do you know that MRELD + Asperger's equals classic autism? Have you ever learned that in school or in the library? Damn, thank goodness I met my speech-language pathologist or else I'd still be as pathetic as you guys!! !! I'm out of here and cancelling my membership with this pathetic, dull site!

No0b

There's no need to be so hostile.
It's easy to edit your post. It takes less steps than us to copy + paste in notepad. And thanks for the instructions Captain Obvious.
I did scroll by the way, although I could have saved myself some time and ignored the whole post.

I can understand that some people may not want it and if there was a way to get rid of it they should go for it, but im sick of people getting upset becasue we dont all feel that wy. Problems? The only problems I have are with people that are stupid, intolorate, or just cant accept even if they dont understand. I have nothing to fix, I like me.

Geez. What the operating system are you using? In any case, best if you could edit your posts as the lines are too long and distorting the space that confines the Wrong Planet. Although the "copy & paste" function is handy, please edit so your text fits the format.

The management appreciates. Please check; there's a mint under your pillow.