So much to learn!! !

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I read on here of others who've have learned to say or do X and yet the world is still a confusing place for me. DonkeyBuster mention he learned to turn back the conversation on the talker (I never think to do that!) While on the phone with 911 dispatcher discussing this perverted man (who pissed on the sidewalk I kept repeating stuff I had said. Mom said they probably didn't send a cop since he thought I was crazy. I'm so stupid and naive! and as the topic title says I have so much to learn and no idea where to begin.

You are not stupid, and if you are naive you will grow out of it, maybe a little later than most people. I did. The cops probably didnt think a guy peeing outside was worth their time and resources. If he was not on your property exposing himself for the sake of a sexual thrill (was he?) then he was not a threat- just indecent and gross. I doubt they would have found the guy at that point anyway. Your mom should not have said that to you, and the dispatcher should have asked more pointed questions maybe. Was your mother there when you called? Really, it was not you!

If you have a lot to learn don't get discouraged! I think we all have a lot to learn.When you are much older you will be saying something like this to another youngster.

I've concluded that below-average NT conversationalists can keep up with each other at about a 50% success rate per statement. This means that only half of what they say successfully provoke a positive emotional response in their targets. Skilled NT conversationalists have between a 75 and 90% success rate. (This is extrapolated, since I need more data.) I'm around 25%, so I'm still well below average, but on occasion I can hit the minimum. Since I'm still learning, I expect my numbers to only increase over time. If I plateau before I hit 50%, then I know I'll be in trouble. Until them, I'm being optimistic.
I suggest you adopt the same attitude. Not that I expect you to have the same mathematical approach as me, or even that you can change your weltanschauung on request, but if you're like me then any little bit can help.

Tactically, I've improved a lot by listening to conversations going on around me. (I think that NT people do this naturally. It's been a new experience since I tend to exist in my own universe.)
If you think that might work, try going to a lunchroom where you can be alone and unnoticed for a while. Lunch is all about fast-paced banter. Note down what you hear and integrate that into your speech.
Or try a school library or some other place where people are studying. Study groups change-up from shop lingo to banter really fast. These have given me quite a few ideas on what to add to conversations quickly.