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Descartes
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28 May 2010, 1:30 pm

dyingofpoetry wrote:
I dunno... I'm both. I identify more with the autistic community than the gay community, though, due to the fact that gays are just as NT as the rest of the population and I can't connect with them.

Strange though, as I was sure I was gay when I was 22, but I didn't know I was autistic until a month ago. Shows just how strong that identity is. Aside from not being able to socialize with gay men, I have also just been completely disappointed and frustrated with them. It's like gay men have NT traits times five...

Which I guess means that I disagree with your assessment, Donnie. I think superficially, homosexuals and Aspies have similarities, but at a deeper level they are very different.


I can relate to a lot of what you said. I'm both gay and an Aspie yet I identify mostly with other aspies than with people within the gay community.

I also think that my being gay and my Asperger's both go hand in hand. As of now I'm certain that my Asperger's is most likely the cause of my being gay; that may also be the case for many other gay aspies.



irishaspie
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28 May 2010, 4:28 pm

Descartes wrote:
dyingofpoetry wrote:
I dunno... I'm both. I identify more with the autistic community than the gay community, though, due to the fact that gays are just as NT as the rest of the population and I can't connect with them.

Strange though, as I was sure I was gay when I was 22, but I didn't know I was autistic until a month ago. Shows just how strong that identity is. Aside from not being able to socialize with gay men, I have also just been completely disappointed and frustrated with them. It's like gay men have NT traits times five...

Which I guess means that I disagree with your assessment, Donnie. I think superficially, homosexuals and Aspies have similarities, but at a deeper level they are very different.


I can relate to a lot of what you said. I'm both gay and an Aspie yet I identify mostly with other aspies than with people within the gay community.

I also think that my being gay and my Asperger's both go hand in hand. As of now I'm certain that my Asperger's is most likely the cause of my being gay; that may also be the case for many other gay aspies.


how can aspergers affect sexuality?
*confused*


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LostAlien
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28 May 2010, 6:05 pm

irishaspie wrote:
Descartes wrote:
dyingofpoetry wrote:
I dunno... I'm both. I identify more with the autistic community than the gay community, though, due to the fact that gays are just as NT as the rest of the population and I can't connect with them.

Strange though, as I was sure I was gay when I was 22, but I didn't know I was autistic until a month ago. Shows just how strong that identity is. Aside from not being able to socialize with gay men, I have also just been completely disappointed and frustrated with them. It's like gay men have NT traits times five...

Which I guess means that I disagree with your assessment, Donnie. I think superficially, homosexuals and Aspies have similarities, but at a deeper level they are very different.


I can relate to a lot of what you said. I'm both gay and an Aspie yet I identify mostly with other aspies than with people within the gay community.

I also think that my being gay and my Asperger's both go hand in hand. As of now I'm certain that my Asperger's is most likely the cause of my being gay; that may also be the case for many other gay aspies.


how can aspergers affect sexuality?
*confused*

Sometimes we identify more strongly with one gender over the other (or each gender equally), if the gender/s we identify with is/are different than expected connected sexual orentation it can lead to confusion (Theory).



irishaspie
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28 May 2010, 6:14 pm

but how does that create sexual/emotional attraction to the same gender?


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LostAlien
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28 May 2010, 6:55 pm

irishaspie wrote:
but how does that create sexual/emotional attraction to the same gender?

I think because of confusion (if open-minded) we're more lightly to question ourselves about what we like, thus less lightly to suppress (inside ourselves) our real sexuality once we find it but bear in mind it's just my theory.



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28 May 2010, 7:58 pm

I think gay men are there as dithers for alpha males who like to show off dominance by raping other males. Nature works in complex and mysterious ways.



Descartes
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29 May 2010, 5:29 pm

irishaspie wrote:
how can aspergers affect sexuality?
*confused*


I don't know how to answer your question, but I'm pretty sure that my having Asperger's has affected my sexuality in some form or another. I probably shouldn't speak for all other people with Asperger's, though.



Ambivalence
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29 May 2010, 6:17 pm

irishaspie wrote:
how can aspergers affect sexuality?
*confused*


Personally, through not empathising with society's usual gender norms, and through having a fairly low sex drive and reduced set of physical triggers for finding people attractive - the result of which is a protean concept of personal gender and an attraction to people being based very much more on personality than on anything else. I'm not saying that's the case for all of us, of course.


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29 May 2010, 7:04 pm

I can't believe I was actually going to read through this whole thread because it seems to be totally full of sh*t.

Anyway, no I don't think there are any more similarities with AS and homosexuality than there are between AS and any other minority. However, I believe that statistically, the ratio for Gay Aspie to Straight Aspie is slightly larger than the ratio for Gay NT to Straight NT. This statistic could suggest that because people with AS can sometimes be less likely to align with the masculine stereotype, they are more likely to be Gay. But, this would also suggest that "lifestyle" affects people "becoming" gay. Which of course, because the whole "lifestyle" argument that certain people of certain religions in particular like to preach is complete rubbish, means that this isn't an accurate reason to explain that statistic. I believe that statistic comes about because people with AS are more likely to understand and be able to accept differences in themselves, perhaps not being totally aware of all the "straight is default" stuff that's rammed down our throats every second of every day everywhere quite like NT people are, and they therefore are more likely to identify as Gay while some NTs may choose to consider themselves Straight, even if they are not. And also, therefore, I believe there is no link between Asperger's and Homosexuality at all.



spacecadetdave
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29 May 2010, 7:11 pm

donnie_darko wrote:
Do you think Aspies and Gays have a lot in common and a lot to share with each other? To my experience, people with AS are more likely to be gay but most are still straight, but even the straight ones (myself included) do not feel as defined by their sex. I'm male but I feel no shame in doing a lot of stereotypically feminine things, and quite a few big guy things, such as sports, holds almost zero interest to me.

Plus, aspies and gays tend to be more into the arts (a stereotype, but a somewhat true one, imo). I kind of wonder if both aspies and gays are genetically meant to be the culture-creators of a tribe.



Or are you saying that being gay is a developmental issue? Or are you saying that Aspergers sufferers are latent homosexuals?

I think you are misunderstanding and insulting both disparate groups of people.



spacecadetdave
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29 May 2010, 7:12 pm

rmgh wrote:
I can't believe I was actually going to read through this whole thread because it seems to be totally full of sh*t.........
.


I must admit that I didn't bother either.



rmgh
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29 May 2010, 7:14 pm

spacecadetdave wrote:
rmgh wrote:
I can't believe I was actually going to read through this whole thread because it seems to be totally full of sh*t.........
.


I must admit that I didn't bother either.

As long as you read mine :lol:



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29 May 2010, 7:16 pm

Ambivalence wrote:
irishaspie wrote:
how can aspergers affect sexuality?
*confused*


Personally, through not empathising with society's usual gender norms, and through having a fairly low sex drive and reduced set of physical triggers for finding people attractive - the result of which is a protean concept of personal gender and an attraction to people being based very much more on personality than on anything else. I'm not saying that's the case for all of us, of course.


Sorry. Don;t agree with this either. Since when did Aspergers mean low sex drive? Just because you find it difficult to pick up "poontang" due to social awkwardness it doesn;t mean you don;t feel the urge to get jiggy. Or did I miss a meeting?

Also, Aspergers can mean different triggers for finding people attractive but not reduced triggers. Or did I miss another meeting?



spacecadetdave
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29 May 2010, 7:17 pm

rmgh wrote:
spacecadetdave wrote:
rmgh wrote:
I can't believe I was actually going to read through this whole thread because it seems to be totally full of sh*t.........
.


I must admit that I didn't bother either.

As long as you read mine :lol:


Only because it was the last one....

Actually I've back tracked and read some more of the thread now and wish I hadn;t bothered. If I could vote a thread as being the most full of crap read of the week this would be it.



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29 May 2010, 7:55 pm

Aspie/Gay Alliance... yes, that would explain why Tom and I work so well together in the orchestra and get on so well! It's nothing to do with the fact that we are the 2 best clarinettists in the orchestra, very similar musically and have a lot in common. It's all because I have AS and he's gay.


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Ambivalence
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30 May 2010, 6:14 am

spacecadetdave wrote:
Sorry. Don;t agree with this either. Since when did Aspergers mean low sex drive? Just because you find it difficult to pick up "poontang" due to social awkwardness it doesn;t mean you don;t feel the urge to get jiggy. Or did I miss a meeting?

Also, Aspergers can mean different triggers for finding people attractive but not reduced triggers. Or did I miss another meeting?


Possibly. It was double booked with Beginner's Floral Design, as I recall. :wink:

Many aspies are asexual. I am not, but I do not want sex especially much for its own sake.

As for reduced triggers, I just don't (well, very, very rarely I do) find people physically attractive. I call that reduced, because most people seem to find some other people physically attractive, and I don't have anything which compensates. Possibly it's something to do with faceblindness, or total lack of a visual imagination (I recognise that's not so common with us, but it's not unknown), or just plain being self-obsessed. Autistic, and all.

Now, so far as I've seen here, these are attributes which some of us share, but I am not claiming (and did not claim) it was most or all.


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