Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Article on women with AS/HFA

Page 2 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

01 Jul 2010, 9:45 pm

Mark198423 wrote:

I am a little bitter. I get people questioning why I don't have something that I want more than anything else but cannot seem to get. You get annoyed because people ask you why you don't have something you don't want - my response would be a simple 'It's not what I want right now'. When I hear it now it's just another reminder, I really do not see your complaint.


I'm not horribly bitter, but I am sick of being expected to do something/be something that I am not. I had enough of that when people wanted me to be straight. I am a 30 yr. old female so now I'm expected to have my shiz together and be getting married or having a child. Not all women wanna do that.

I can see why you are angry as well. Like I said, I don't really know what guys go through. It just seems all the guys I know have never been accosted with the lines of questioning all the GIRLS I know have.



Mark198423
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,974
Location: Salford, England

01 Jul 2010, 9:59 pm

Kiseki wrote:
Mark198423 wrote:

I am a little bitter. I get people questioning why I don't have something that I want more than anything else but cannot seem to get. You get annoyed because people ask you why you don't have something you don't want - my response would be a simple 'It's not what I want right now'. When I hear it now it's just another reminder, I really do not see your complaint.


I'm not horribly bitter, but I am sick of being expected to do something/be something that I am not. I had enough of that when people wanted me to be straight. I am a 30 yr. old female so now I'm expected to have my shiz together and be getting married or having a child. Not all women wanna do that.

I can see why you are angry as well. Like I said, I don't really know what guys go through. It just seems all the guys I know have never been accosted with the lines of questioning all the GIRLS I know have.


Maybe girls only talk to girls about this kind of thing and vice-versa - I don't know. I think we're both talking about unknown perspectives but independently from the vs. issue, can you not just say that you don't want it when asked? I can't go into detail in the conversation as it just opens emotional wounds and I'm simply not comfortable discussing my flaws!



Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

01 Jul 2010, 10:03 pm

Mark198423 wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
Mark198423 wrote:
Maybe girls only talk to girls about this kind of thing and vice-versa - I don't know. I think we're both talking about unknown perspectives but independently from the vs. issue, can you not just say that you don't want it when asked? I can't go into detail in the conversation as it just opens emotional wounds and I'm simply not comfortable discussing my flaws!


I think you are right. I usually go off on an angry tirade because, when I say I don't want that, the people always ask "Why?"

As for you it sounds like you have deeper issues you might need to discuss with someone.



Mark198423
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,974
Location: Salford, England

01 Jul 2010, 10:07 pm

Kiseki wrote:
Mark198423 wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
Mark198423 wrote:
Maybe girls only talk to girls about this kind of thing and vice-versa - I don't know. I think we're both talking about unknown perspectives but independently from the vs. issue, can you not just say that you don't want it when asked? I can't go into detail in the conversation as it just opens emotional wounds and I'm simply not comfortable discussing my flaws!


I think you are right. I usually go off on an angry tirade because, when I say I don't want that, the people always ask "Why?"

As for you it sounds like you have deeper issues you might need to discuss with someone.


I suppose I didn't think of that response from them really. OK both sexes have it bad - we're all f****d!!

:cry: That's so depressing :cry:



DandelionFireworks
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 May 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,011

01 Jul 2010, 10:17 pm

Try a lot of verbal reassurances. Can you say "I see, yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah, I know how you feel" and such things? Can you say "so if I understand this, you're saying [whatever they just said, but phrased differently]?" (That one especially is helpful to me.)

Also, you two, are you talking about the same culture?


_________________
I'm using a non-verbal right now. I wish you could see it. --dyingofpoetry

NOT A DOCTOR


Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

01 Jul 2010, 11:43 pm

DandelionFireworks wrote:
Try a lot of verbal reassurances. Can you say "I see, yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah, I know how you feel" and such things? Can you say "so if I understand this, you're saying [whatever they just said, but phrased differently]?" (That one especially is helpful to me.)

Also, you two, are you talking about the same culture?


I am American, but live in Japan now. I got the same line of questioning in both countries.



Mark198423
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,974
Location: Salford, England

02 Jul 2010, 12:13 am

Kiseki wrote:
DandelionFireworks wrote:
Try a lot of verbal reassurances. Can you say "I see, yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah, I know how you feel" and such things? Can you say "so if I understand this, you're saying [whatever they just said, but phrased differently]?" (That one especially is helpful to me.)

Also, you two, are you talking about the same culture?


I am American, but live in Japan now. I got the same line of questioning in both countries.


Wow! I'm Eglish but considering going to Japan! How have you found it as an aspie Kiseki?



Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

02 Jul 2010, 12:27 am

Mark198423 wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
DandelionFireworks wrote:
Try a lot of verbal reassurances. Can you say "I see, yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah, I know how you feel" and such things? Can you say "so if I understand this, you're saying [whatever they just said, but phrased differently]?" (That one especially is helpful to me.)

Also, you two, are you talking about the same culture?


I am American, but live in Japan now. I got the same line of questioning in both countries.


Wow! I'm Eglish but considering going to Japan! How have you found it as an aspie Kiseki?


I'm not sure I am an Aspie, just have most of the traits. I love living in JP for reasons that I posted here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt130466.html



Mark198423
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,974
Location: Salford, England

02 Jul 2010, 12:32 am

It's not 100% cofirmed for me either. How strange that so seemingly different people can end up looking at the same solution!



Kiseki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,604
Location: Osaka JP

02 Jul 2010, 1:06 am

Mark198423 wrote:
It's not 100% cofirmed for me either. How strange that so seemingly different people can end up looking at the same solution!


Yeah, very interesting indeed! I had no idea why I wanted to live in Japan. I guess it was a subconscious way of saving my sanity.



DandelionFireworks
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 May 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,011

02 Jul 2010, 2:31 am

Maybe it's the lack of eye-contact.

(Ah, butting into other people's conversations... now you know you're talking to an Aspie!)


_________________
I'm using a non-verbal right now. I wish you could see it. --dyingofpoetry

NOT A DOCTOR