When I thought I found god (I mean REALLY thought I found the "key") I was invincible. I recall being nearly run over a few times that day...
Now, I don't think about death, can't say really either way, but I do know I'm in a state of mind that I'd preserve my life at all costs. Never had trouble with suicidal thoughts. Did have trouble with my imagination however, maybe it was my convoluted way of thinking, but I used to picture scenarios of my death... Weird, but didn't feel "depressed" or anything. Maybe it was just a way for my curious mind to venture out into that area without putting myself in danger.
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Still grateful.
"...do you really think you're in control...?"
Diagnosis: uncertain.