I wish people would stop being embarrassed by me...

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It's starting to get to me emotionally. A lot. I'm having outbursts about it. How do you guys handle this sort of thing?

Pretty much anybody associated with me in any way whatsoever. The strange way I act in public and my reputation are horrible.

People are ashamed of being my friend. I know that this means they were never really my friend but wow. People are afraid to admit we used to hang out.

I have changed my social circle but this sort of thing still haunts me. I started confronting people about being ashamed to hang out with me and it all turned into a huge mess. I lashed out in a pretty bad way.

I don't know. I'm trying. Yet it feels like an act. Like the solution to all things is to become a better actor.

I'd tell them to piss off if they couldn't accept me. I'd rather be alone than to be f****d around by a bunch of lowlife scum.

Acting sucks and makes your so called friends then be actually friends with something you are not.. true friends should like who you are esp if you are nice to them in return.

i have a few neurotypical friends who i occassionally see, they are the ones i act with some, never get fully close to them and they are harder for me to be with, due to the effort involved.

My closer friends are a bit odd like myself, ones with Aspie traits themselves, easier to understand each other more. i accept who they are and they accept me so our relationship is a relaxed one.

Lately I find myself thinking back to "strange" people that I knew, wondering if I could've been their friend if I hadn't written them off. It's not like I'm particularly normal myself.

I'm sorry your friends are acting that way- it's terrible. My best friend would jump to my defense if anyone commenting on my behavior. She's got the "STOP IT!" look down pat and uses it often. Flapping, rocking, tapping, melt downs... she's not afraid of it at all. I think you should explain to your friends that it's part of the way you're made that you do those things, that you can't help it. See what they say.

There was a time, when my mum told me, that she was embarrassed to be with me, when I was 14 years old. She told me, that people would look at us, whenever we were out in public. I had suicidal thoughts and feelings, for a year and a half afterwards, because my mum really bruised my Ego, and how could I have been lovable and worthy of life, if I was an embarrassment to my own birth mother, who gave me life?

How do people who are assuming this is "bad behavior" on the part of the original poster, even know it's bad behavior? All this counseling the person to "act", and you don't even know what you're expecting them to stop doing. Many things autistic people do are either impossible to avoid, or very difficult to avoid without doing damage to other parts of us, and many of those things are not bad in any way at all. Rocking is not bad. Flapping is not bad. Other unusual mannerisms are not bad. Period. Not bad, not rude, not inconsiderate, not selfish.

This doesn't mean there aren't things that autistic people need to change. But seriously, I haven't seen any indication of such things in this thread so far. Or any indication in the other way. How can you advise someone if you don't even know what they're doing that other people find embarrassing? Because depending on what it is, it could be things that are not wrong at all, and where the embarrassment comes from ableism that people have to get over in order to be good friends to us. Rocking, flapping, and other autistic mannerisms are no more bad or wrong than the complex and unusual movements of some people with cerebral palsy are. Some people find these things embarrassing, and those things are embarrassing because the people in question have some very messed-up values. Real friends will never ask you to stop doing these, or if they do, they will eventually realize how wrong it was.

On the other hand, I've known autistic people who are cruel to other people, blame it on their autism, and refuse to change. That's different. But I've seen no indication that that's what's going on here yet. And there are things that many autistic people do that are simply immature and we need to learn not to do. Seen no indication there either. (Meanwhile there are very cruel things that are considered "just normal" and most people that cruel have lots of friends. Because their variety of cruelty is not seen as unusual, so it's not "embarrassing" in the same way as even a nice autistic person can be.)

your probably in high school or middle school...am I right?
Well if so, just know that real life is not this way....people at this age are so worried about what others think of them that they leave their conscious at the door.

My best advice is find those who are confident in who they are and dont need approval by others. These people are usually not the most popular but dont really care anyway. such people are kinda rare in school years, but once you get out of school you will find more people grow out of that shallowness. Some dont...and they just go on to be social predators.

You will also find that tables turn alot from high school to real life. I high school, those who are really popular and snotty usually get married early, have a bunch of kids and do much with their lives. However, those who are "nerds" and are otherwise outcasts usually grow up to be quite sucessful and marry later.
Jocks either go on to college on a scholarship or they just sit home dreaming of yesteryears like ed bundy on "married with children"

but I would say to you, find out what you are really good at...and devlop that skill the best you can, do the best you can in school and do alot of voluteer work, and you will get into college and be able to make a life for yourself above these people.
Sometimes you cant change how people treat you, but you can change your situation by hyper-focusing on your school studies so you can get out of that hellhole and be more in control of the direction your life is going.

best wishes, and pm me if you want to talk more about it

what I meant to say was the snotty get married early ones ....Dont do much with their lives