aspie men and sexual misbehavior

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not in a forum without any actual evidence presented. they don't just have one side tell a story.

On the one hand, I see your point, and in an anonymous forum the word of someone you don't know might not be worth much. I'm curious, though, as to why you aren't just as sick of tales of 'true' allegations, which can be neither confirmed nor denied any more than the 'false' allegations? Isn't believing that allegations against someone as true 'in absentia' just as sick?

There is no way I can prove any of this - but then, that can be said for any of the court cases where people are convicted - or acquitted, for that matter. None of us - unless we were on the jury - saw all of the evidence, so all we can be sure of is the conviction, not whether it was merited by the evidence.

One thing I COULD prove is that the vice principal of the local high school is also the head football coach, because that's on their website. That in and of itself says nothing about my son's particular case, but it IS a conflict of interest for the student body, as football players, notorious for their entitlement attitude toward the female student body and their aggressive bullying ways with everyone, are constantly getting into trouble. That would involve disclosure of personal information about where I live, though, which is obviously a bad idea.

Anyway, this happened a year and a half ago. They've moved on from that and are trying to cast him as paranoid schizophrenic now. A bit more to the story (granted, it's just "my" side, again), my son exudes the same "creepiness" vibe as I do, and he makes other students nervous just be being physically present. The administration was tired of non-specific complaints about 'the weird kid', and were looking to move him elsewhere anyway, but he was well-liked by his teachers, was getting good grades, and didn't get into trouble. Then this sexual harassment thing came up and they were able to use that to get the result they wanted anyway.

I agree with hyperlexian that making false allegations against the girl and her football friends is a bad idea, but not for the same reason. The girl and her friends are of the 'in' crowd, and have the administration in their pocket, remember. If it's just a "he said, she said", there are plenty of wannabes and hangers-on that could greatly outnumber and overwhelm any allegations made on "my" side - which would be just a repeat (sort of) of what happened the first time.

Ok folks....here's a must-read for anyone wondering about AS and anti-social behaviors like sex crimes.

I have posted this before, but I thought it would be an appropriate repost for this thread. This is from the International Journal of Mental Health. Dr. Park Dietz, the famous forensic psychiatrist and criminologist (as well as a contributor to the DSM-IV) is one of the authors of this article.


I urge everyone who reads this not to have any knee-jerk reactions prior to reading the ENTIRE article. I believe it is very fair and accurate and nothing in it implies the authors believe anti-social behavior is more common among those with Asperger's.

I must warn you though....some of the case studies are disturbing and the behaviors of some of the individuals described in the case studies are quite revolting.

http://www.iafmhs.org/files/Murrie.pdf

i wouldn't expect anyone to accept any sexual harassment allegation at face value on WP. from what i've seen, people on these boards have not done so. real life may be different, but on these boards it is not the case. i related an experience myself, and if someone had called bullsh*t on me, fine. they weren't present for the situation and they can draw their own conclusions.

the difficulty in you relating your son's situation is that you were not physically present and it did not happen *to you*. so when people overreact and suggest retaliation, they are basing their opinions on half of a story, which has been related secondhand.

about trials - at least there is a chance to present evidence from both sides. there is no feasible way to do that on these boards, so drawing conclusions based on half of a story is unfair to the parties involved. at least the court system attempts a fair trial. i am observing how the girl who accused your son is being strung up in this thread, and it is frankly not fair to her. you have demonized her and the people surrounding her, so we are seeing the situation through that filter. you have already tried and convicted her.

who is the 'they' that you are referring to, who is casting your child as paranoid schizophrenic? professionals? educators? random laypersons? his peers?

And people like Sheila Jennings Linehan use cases like this, where Asperger Syndrome is involved, to justify their stance that people with AS are a danger to their children and that social services should take them away. She doesn't even consider that the fact that most Aspies are not criminals is even relevant. That's what I don't like about this. I'm not saying that AS isn't relevant in those cases though.

Well I am not in favour at this time of convicting the girl (yet) but the headteacher who failed to deal with the conflict of interest should be convicted. I see a perfect prima facia case against him, to my mind what he did was like writing a poison pen letter using your own headed notepaper. Then going into the police station to tell the man behind the desk al about it. It is a slam dunk case !

You know i'm so sick of the whole catergorise men into two groups.
There are aspie scumbags, and NT scumbags.

I dislike people who are not worth the time of day, regardless of their neurological condition.
Aspie men aren't exactly making a good name for themselves with all the woman hating crap they post either.

I happened to have B.B. King music playing when I read this thread, and heard the lines "If you turn out the lights, and she don't fight, that's the end", and when I looked at the lyrics (Beware Brother, beware) his songs are fairly full of misogynistic expressions. And so are the songs of many popular artists. I think misogyny, sexual violence and harassment are almost the norm in human behaviour - and people with ASDs do not seem any worse (or better) than the basal norm.

As a species, we perpetrate and tolerate a lot of abusive behaviour.

I personally cannot imagine this for myself. I do not like to be touched, and do not like to physically touch other people. So the idea of harassing and grabbing someone in any way is unfathomable to me. However, I have been accused of staring at women too long, But that has nothing to do with sexual harassment; rather it is an eye contact thing.

The 'they' would be the school system. I would have thought that obvious from the context. If not, my bad.

The difficulty with my son's situation is much more than I was not there. They (the school system again) used the excuse of "student privacy" so that my son and I were not able to ask her directly (that quaint notion of the right to face your accuser doesn't work in a school setting). This means that we (my son and I) only have the word of the administrator for what she did or did not say. So, it's a big mess all the way 'round.

Odd, though, that you picked MY story to defend someone I accused of making false statements to get your dander up about. Seems to me a few pages ago, someone suggested that a few people accused pedophilia blow their brains out. Did you not see that, or is this girl somehow more defensible to you? If so, how do you know this?

As for who has been tried and convicted, my son seems to be the one who was removed from his school. For all of my saying that the girl's allegations were false, nothing whatsoever is going to happen to her from this discussion; she will not even be aware of it. People here aren't circling anyone - she is not here.

Finally, your insistence that both parties (or all parties if there are more than two) state their case for the forum to be able to pass impartial judgment would probably curtail much discussion on the site. All I have is my side of whatever issue, and anyone here only has their own side of things to tell, and the other paritis have no reason to come here at all. If I DO happen to have the other party's side (a transcript, say) and I posted it, you'd still have to take my word that it WAS the other party's words. As for being impartial, there is no such thing.

My guess is that either I pissed you off somehow, or that the subject of claiming that a woman's accusations of sexual harassment are false hits a nerve with you for some reason. If so, I'm sorry that bringing up the subject caused you any distress.

What I got from it was how do you actually know that your son didn't sexually harass her? You weren't there.

hale_bopp, yes! thank you. StefanoB i told you several pages back that i doubt your credibility, and the reasons why.

Doubt my credibility? First of all, I couldn't care less about your doubts.

As I recall, what you said was

That, and repeatedly saying "You weren't there", just like the annoying hale_bopp echo that seems to have developed in here, and that you seem overjoyed to read, as if it somehow lends you some sort of credibility. And, though I tried valiantly, I could find no reason in your doubts.

SO, how do I know my son didn't really sexually harass the girl? Because I WAS there for the conference, and the girl's complaint said that my son 1) smiled at her, 2) stared at her, and 3) said "Hi" to her, and that is all. If he had REALLY sexually harassed her, I don't think that the school AND the girl would have forgotten to mention that. There's also the fact that her football player boyfriend and his henchmen would have jumped him in a stairwell and sent him to the hospital for a while if it were true.

So, take your doubts and shove 'em where the sun don't shine.

no, you looked at the wrong post. you said:



and i said:


someone who would do anything to avoid prison simply cannot be trusted at his or her word, in my opinion. take it or leave it, but i don't trust what you say.

Try getting a girlfriend when you grew up 8 years behind them in maturity as a kid.

I commend your formidable obfuscation skills, and marvel at how you nimbly dodge my points.

I find it ironic that you are misquoting an honest statement I made (in naiveté, I admit) to imply that I lie. Doesn't the illogic in that short out your brain circuitry? Actually, that may explain things.

I said "ALMOST anything", which seems to have escaped your attention. I did NOT say (nor did I imply) that I would lie in court, or anywhere else. You are putting words into my mouth, as it were. I thought aspies knew better than to read things into what other aspies say. You know, the face value thingie? Guess not. Assuming you're aspie, btw - I don't know (or care) either way, really. Still, on an aspie forum, one would think... but I digress. Besides, what use would lying for him (my son) on this forum serve?

Considering that this is a misandrous thread - with a title like "aspie MEN and sexual misbehavior", how could it not be? - some balance of perspective, or just a reality check, seemed to be necessary and appropriate.

The point I was trying to make, which I'm sure you'll miss yet again, is that sometimes, accusations of sexual harassment are false. All of your huffing, puffing, and smoke-blowing in trying to discredit me via questioning my son's case will not change that fact in the slightest, MisAndrist.