Is it possible to have various traits of AS but not AS?

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*LONG POST AHEAD*


Weather I have AS or not, does not change the fact that I've had social screw ups and unsuccessful social situations. There were a lot of things associated with AS that I don't have, however I might have had them when I was a child.

Here are some things I have questions about

-Single obsessive special interest

Is it possible for this to go away as you get older? When I was a lot younger i had an obsessive narrow interest with playing video games, and often just did it meaninglessly. As I got older though, it changed. However, I was also becoming more socialized. There is no single interest I do now, and I barely play video games. I'm interested in music, politics, philosophy, psychology, TV drama, and the arts.

-Lack of Empathy

I do not lack empathy, though when I was a teenager a lot of friends would sometimes say that I'm selfish. A lack of empathy isn't something all aspie's have. However, lots of teens in general ages 14-17 are pretty selfish. A lack of empathy isn't related to AS imo. Lots of people without AS have that, its just a part of maturity. Lots of teens lack empathy or don't care about others' feelings because they haven't matured to that level yet.

-Not reading body language or social cues

I don't have this problem either. Though one thing I will say is that I grew up in the conservative ass south. In a kind of rural town where I went to elementary school teachers were very strict about how kids should be subordinated. I often found it hard to look at them straight in the eyes when I got in trouble because of how intense they often were, and I would get that nervous laugh and they don't see that as different. When you were in trouble in the conservative traditional america they insisted that you stand straight up, look them in the eye, and address them by "Yes mam'" "Yessir'".

-Other things/History

When I was in High School I never really needed help with schoolwork, I was capable of doing all my work assignments on my own and didn't have trouble reading, understanding concepts, studying for tests etc I was able to learn normally, as long as I paid attention in class.

I did have a lot of social problems in elementary and middle school however. I was mostly unaware of how I projected myself and would be unnecessarily hyperactive and behave innapropiately usually being the class clown or something. I was labeled by most students as being seriously mentally ret*d.

Those are some horrible memories of social situations that I try to hide from everyday.

I'm not sure if those were results of AS or not though. One thing that would make sense is the fact that I never had a father male role model. So, therefore I was not socialized by my parents well at all. My father was too lazy and alcoholic to discipline me or raise me properly by telling me the social cues, social skills, and the do's and dont's. Then my mom found out about my father's alcoholism that he kept secret in their marriage for a long time and then divorced.

After the divorce she was too depressed to raise me and my brother or socialize us well. I had a lot of problems like mental breakdowns and anger problems. However, this don't have to be results of AS either. There is a great chance that they could instead be because of my father's alcohol problems, and getting a bit abusive when he was drunk. Alcoholicism passes down hereditary, and because of his problems, alcohol was probably in my genes from birth which could definitely influence or cause mental breakdowns or anger issues.

Neurological disorders are also hereditary. So my symptoms related to AS could just be a combination of OCD, Anxiety, Panic disorder, social anxiety, and depression. Which DO run in my family.

So I think I have traits similar to AS because of a combination of those, my lack of socialization, and having no father male role model.

What do you guys think? Sorry that was kind of a lengthy post lol, but I was able to get all my thoughts down.

That's somewhat my experience. I was religious age 14, 15 (now happily agnostic), got into philosophy, psychology, philosophy again, picked up an anthropology class along the way which I wish I would have studied more of, anti-war activism, a fair amount of reading on activism, reading the political books of Jules Witcover and Jack Germond (both substance and perception matters, of course it does), and etc, etc! So, yeah, I guess I've become kind of a generalist.

Broader Autistic Phenotype or even PDD-NOS.

http://autism.about.com/od/autismterms/g/phenotype.htm

Sometimes it's a good idea not to care about labels so much.

That sounds more like Autism^. If anything I would only border AS. Autism is more severe.

I would at least feel comfortable knowing I can experience life normally, get laid, go on dates, have relationships, have friendships etc.

You really can't and are limited as to how much you can experience or how well your friendships/relationships work out if you have something like AS.

I can make friends normally, and I hang out with them usually or sometimes more then one. The aspergarians I know are uninterested in people and like being alone more, or put a lot of people off because they come off as asses, or aloof.

Last edited by sickforapathyx on 03 Sep 2010, 5:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

What gave you that idea? Asperger's Syndrome is autism. In the next DSM there will not be an asperger's syndrome, they are consolidating it under the term autism. There is no reason for you to fear the word autism.

If you would have read the link you would have seen that broader autistic phenotype is in no way severe, it is common in parents or siblings related to autistics.

I have autism. I have worked around it and had a very full life.

I didn't get that, my bad. Also, is that what psychologists are labeling as social ineptitude or a lack of socialization or social development now? Is there a label for that? Or can NT's not be socially awkward/interoverts?

I don't think you should worry about the social aspects so much. This si what people with AS are know for but it's not like it's the only aspect of the disorder. You could be somewhere on the spectrum, like BAP or PDD-NOS, even mild AS and still have decent social skills. you could even be NT and have awful social skills. It isn't that people with AS can't do any of the things you described. They get frustrated with life and by other people, but many still choose to socialize and have relationships.

You're going to be the same person no matter what label you have(or don't have) and by your description you seem like you could be somewhere on the spectrum to me, maybe less so now because you have learned to compensate but you would still have the same difficulties that you a had as a child to some degree. Just learn to work on what you think your weak areas are and don't worry about the labels. I think a lot of people with AS might say, "eff it" and give up on living the way they think NTs live because they have a diagnosis but it's always a matter of choice. If you want to have a life that resembles that of an NT and be socially successful, go for it. It isn't like neurotypical own the idea of being socially successful. It seems like it but it's not true, Aspies may do it in a different or "strange" way but it's really only strange because they're in the minority. Having the AS diagnosis or not having it shouldn't really be an all encompassing thing that you use to define yourself or decide how your life is going to be. Everyone makes choices like this, AS and NT people.

Sorry for the rant, just thoughts. I think Aspies can and do choose to live their lives in many different ways.

No problem I think what you said was fairly informative btw.

I don't understand your logic, are you saying that Aspies are people who get frustrated with live and give up because of their social problems? I'm not so sure I have the problems that Aspies do, because I can read social cues, body language, and have conversations normally.



To some as*holes it f*****g is. Those are the ones who notice and care that you are different. f*****g pieces of s**t, should be murdered.

Yes, it can go away. But autistics don't always have just one "single obsessive special interest". We may have more than one, or switch from one to the other. I am one of the ones who tends to switch and to have multiple obsessive interests; and, oddly enough, the length of time they last is inversely proportional to how intense they are. For example, an interest on which I spend eighteen hours a day may only last two weeks, whereas one on which I spend only three hours daily may hang on for months or years.

We need to differentiate between a lack of empathy and a lack of compassion. When "empathy" is defined as "reading others' emotions; instinctively copying others' feelings," then that's what they refer to when they are talking about what autistic people lack. "Compassion," on the other hand, is the desire to see another person happy, closely related to altruism. This quality, autistic people do have, the same as non-autistic ones. So, basically, I may not know you are feeling bad by being around you or looking at your face, but once I am informed about it, I will care about it and probably attempt to fix whatever problem is hurting you.

(We do have a name for someone who lacks compassion; generally this is referred as "sociopathy" or "antisocial personality disorder". It is unrelated to autism.)

Many autistic people do force themselves to look people in the eye, despite how intense and overwhelming it is. It can increase your stress level to do so, which some people find a worthwhile trade-off, and others feel is extra stress for nothing.

Your schoolwork is unrelated to autism. Some autistics are good at schoolwork; others are bad at it.

Children with absent or abusive fathers don't end up autistic. This is little better than the disproven "refrigerator mother" theory. While you can get autistic-like symptoms from neglect, the level of neglect where this kind of thing starts is extreme--things like being locked into a room by yourself, with no one to talk to, every day for five years; or being raised in an orphanage where children receive food, shelter, and nothing else.

You may well have had problems from having an alcoholic father and a depressed mother, but it is not likely that these problems would have been autism.

Alcholism may be hereditary, but what's passed on is a susceptibility, not the actual addiction. You don't have "alcohol in the genes"; you have, if anything, a higher tolerance for alcohol and a tendency toward addiction.

All of these are common misdiagnoses for autism. So it is entirely likely that autism runs in your family, too, or that sub-clinical autistic traits do.

I'm not talking about Autism. I'm talking about social skills problems, or being behind in development from not getting out much, and not having a father that taught me proper manners, how to behave, how to make friends, what to do and not to do, etc.



But it doesn't, and I've confirmed this. Not that I know of at least. The things I know that do run in my family are Schizophrenia and my grandfather has Dyslexia.

It does seem that way but it really isn't. Someone with AS *probably* couldn't be the President of the United States but they could have a decent social life. I see NTs with much stranger social behavior than many Aspies have running around like effing maniacs and still keeping friends, still having people who want to talk to them.

Some people with AS are genuinely disinterested in socializing and that's fine but some like to, so they find ways of getting around their difficulties. Many aspies really aren't even that strange, they get frustrated by other people because other people can be so illogical. I seem normal for all intents and purposes and got flamed to all hell on the internet just today for saying something that didn't seem offensive to me. *shrug*. IDK. I think differently and I have little understanding or patience for people who make no sense and choose to be offended by things because they like to feel bad, makes them feel important or something =X That's where my difficulties arise but I hold out for the people that do make sense. When I find people I really get along with the connection is usually very strong.

Lots of Aspies can read social cues and body language. I have no diagnosis but you have to understand that some Aspies appear "normal* for all intents and purposes and aren't all inherently strange enough to repel people. The DSM criteria is based on what you see in children and people learn to compensate as they grow older. I did NOT seem normal as a child, my head was always down and i never even looked at people., I spoke at full speed just so I could words out of my mouth ad end social interactions as quickly as possible and I was only interested in playing video games. You would never know this by talking to me now. There are also those that don't learn to compensate, and that's fine too. It's a spectrum. Those that never learn to socialize or have no desire to probably excel in different areas.

This is incorrect. If you can read social cues or body language it is not being done naturally, it is an acquired skill later in life. Which means you did lack it, and still do lack it naturally.

That's what I said in the rest of the paragraph. For me it was always more of a disinterest and general anxiety around people but I did NOT seem normal as a child. I didn't...have enough insight to even understand that I seemed strange, I guess. I just wasn't tuned into what people were thinking enough to know and am still not in some ways but it doesn't really show on the surface, I've heard some people here talk about young Aspies who can and do know how to read social cues but are diagnosed and have all or most of the other traits.

You need some absolutes for making any kind of diagnosis but I don't think it's all that black in white in some cases. Some doctors realize this, some don't, it really just depends on the person/child.

I suppose I could have been strange enough to repel then. I was told that I was weird but I did make some friends. I wasn't really violent or anything, aside from having meltdowns, just "weird".

I'm probably just as strange now underneath all of my 'grown-up-ness" so I guess I am inherently strange but I don't think I've ever really scared people away unless I was trying to.