Who here is still strongly dependant on others at adulthood?

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Who here is still dependant? As in no work, no money, no driving, no anything. Needs disability?

I am, and I don't like it anymore. I spent too much time dragging myself mostly at home 90 percent of the time, usually online. I feel being on the computer online was a factor of being inactive most of the time, especially the past several I maybe felt okay with it. Now that I realized I lost touch a little bit with the world and what goes around. I feel I blew it somewhere and I need to "catch up". I realized I want some of my own things and start to be on my own now. I fear that it is too late to start, even though I am not old.

I left home at the age of 50. Of course I could drive (living in the Southwest, you have to, or you'd better be a world-class walker) and had worked temp jobs off and on - but had also been convinced by Mr. X that I was utterly incompetent and so hideously obnoxious nobody could stand me.

Start slowly and with little things is what I did. I could cook (dinosaur upbringing) and do my laundry (ex-housewife) and had some small income. Lived in one room, converted motel room, minimal possessions. It was liberating.

I'm 32 and still dependent on my parents for a lot of things. I'm trying to get out of that, however, since it's now starting to become too overwhelming. I can drive. I can work, if someone would just call me, you know? I can do a lot of things. It took a long time to pass school, though, which caused me to fall back. I feel as if I need to really catch up as well.

- Ray M -

Me and I cant figure out how to change that.

I don't live at home but I don't have a job, I don't have a driver's license and I'm a stay at home mom and only reason why is my partner makes at least comfortable enough of a salary to allow me to stay home. Sometimes I still need financial assistance from my parents for meds and such though and mom to help me handle how to be an effective housewife and mom at times.

Thanks everyone. For some reason, I feel like I am dwelling too long on the tooth. I know I can move on, but I am scared. I feel like I didn't do anything to cope with this problem.

You remind me of the dog on a show I watched once. Seems like the dog speaking on the show. Which is odd, dogs don't talk but like some art animals are made to be like people. Some people dress there dogs, speak to them and they are like people. The mind seems to invest into a fictional reality to some extent of the reality within the animal.As if the character mentality of the animal as the family member is like them in a way, human and cogent.

I'm just 18, so I'm still dependant. I don't work. I don't know how to do a lot, and some stuff I do know how to do but can't because I'm too weak to. I can't drive (yet), and don't have a job. But I'm not worrying about it right now, probably not until after college...

Is he what people call an N.T?

I went through the same situation also, but now it is 9 years later and I still showed nothing.
I feel so guilty now for not doing anything about it. I fear it is too late. I spent too much time thinking nothing would work. Then I became comfy with being away.

I want to work but I feel like I have to be with younger ones. I feel having some kind of job will end up being too hectec and may wear me out. I wore my self out by being home all the time. It drove me crazy and now I feel it stressed me out and I feel I damaged something.
I need to start somewhere but I feel I need what I need now, yesterday, not now.

Yes and no. It's weird, actually. I do have a job. I have my own income, I pay towards upkeep and I handle all the things I need to buy like clothes, stationary, postage, travel, etc. I go out in the morning on my own, I work in a place where noone knows I'm Aspie, I come home.

So in those senses no, I'm not dependant. I have graduated University, I finished school and college. Sure, I couldn't go into halls at university and had an emotional breakdown over it - but I did stick out my course and I did get my degree.

But then I still live at home with my folks. In some ways I feel guilty about it because my sister has never had the chance to have them to herself (She's 6 years younger than me, I'm 24). But I am hopeless in a lot of practical ways. I'm great with computers, but cannot operate the oven or the washing machine (sound familiar to anyone?) and am basically not ready to have a place on my own.

So I'm borderline. Almost there but not. :S I started learning to drive in October (after six years of procrastination) and it is SO scary but I'm determined to do it, since public transport where I live is abysmal. I can use buses and especially trains just fine, they just aren't there to use.

Apple

I was dependent until my parents kicked me out of the house at age 23. I certainly wouldn't recommend that path to anyone, but it has been a valuable learning experience. While I think it's a blessing to have people in our lives that we can depend on, it can also make it too easy to overlook our own potential. If I had never been forced to figure out how to rely on myself, I may never have known I could.

I still think of myself as dependent in the sense that I don't feel I'm very good at playing independent. My world is very small because I've only learned to deal with the absolute necessities alone, and I rely on acquaintences to occasionally broaden my horizons. And yet, even some of those necessities - finding a job, an apartment, learning to drive, etc. - are things I once thought myself incapable of doing at all. I just wonder whether some of you who think of yourselves as dependent out of habit, mainly because you *can be* dependent, because you have people who love and support you, actually have abilities you think you lack because you've never been forced to find them.

Not a challenge, just a thought.

Anymore it is only with not being able to drive, mostly. I used to be very dependent on family but it was bad for both of us. I usually worked but couldn't afford to live on my own. My self esteem was so low that I tended to take on too many of other people's responsibilities until it got impossible, then there would be friction between us. I think NT's must have trouble with a fair division of labor.

I am the same as you (and I am also 18). I have a driver's license, but I can´t drive. And add the fact that we have in the house an internal maid, and she does all the chores (yes, my mom doesn't do them either...)

But... at 18 you are not supposed to have a job anyway...---> I don't know what would be about me after college...

im 21 (22 in less than 2 weeks) and i still live with my parents.
A) because house prices, and even to rent around where i live is way beyong my pay packet and because they help me with things that i wouldent be able to do otherwise.

they do treat me like an NT though, and they hardly know a thing about AS. i tried to tell them what it is, having only been diagnosed a month ago, but they dont really understand. which i find annoying and irritating

i do have a job now but it took me 7 months to find one. my mum constantly nagged me that i was a 'slob' and that i didnt do anything to contribute towards the house chores, and that i didnt give enough of my time to look for work.
she was half right, but not all the way. i did look for work often, in newspapers and on the jobcentre- through the internet. i didnt and dont see the pint of walking into random shops and asking them if theres any work, because most of the time the cashiers dont know the answer.
i was lazy .. i did enjoy to sit on the couch and watch telly. i didnt like doing excersise. i pay mum and dad an allowance every week hat they set, but mum often complains that it is hardly contributing at all. but £30 is alot of money to me.

i have a job now running a small shop inside a caravan park. i really enjoy it and ive made some new friends there which is amazing.. at my last jobs i never had any friends.
i cycle to work and back aswell.. 20 minutes each way. i enjoy having the responsability of looking after the shop and making sure theres anough bread for the weekend etc. that is the NT'ness in me i guess! i dont mind repetative work but i do like to have veriety and i like to change things for the better if i see a way. ie: i drew up a chart for the cigarettes, so that i could count the ones in the back stock so i knew how many left there are so its easy to put the order in for more.

I haven't had a job in six years, six years since I lived in this town. Eight years since I last had some kind of job. I hope this doesn't really make me lazy. But it did bore me out for such a long time. i probably never realized the effects of the boredomness until a year ago.
But it really does drive me nuts. At home I either stay online or walk around the perimeter. So i do get some form of exercise, except it isn't very constructive and agressive. Plus it can really put a stress on me at times.

I had to be more assertive and do things myself but I just let go. Nobody around knows what to do, so I pretty much was left unmotivated and had no encouragement. I finally do.

I was feeling the same way when I was 20, 21 and 22 and 23 but around a few years ago, I somehow slipped back and no longer cared to go for a job and return to school. I forgot all about it. So yes I [u]did[.u] have motivation, I just didn't reach for the plans and I did not maintain the focus. I finally reached that focus again, but I feel I missed too many days of progression and that I have fell behind a personal agenda and feel I can never reach at a given point.

So yes I am in another episode of motivating myself out of the misery of dependancy.