I get so frustrated with myself these days

Post Reply New Topic

I feel like I need to vent about my frustrations with myself.

Here's what's gone wrong today. My boss is very laid-back, and he knows I sometimes have trouble sleeping. Poor sleep affects me in a way that's different from how it seems to affect everyone else, because I've described how bad I feel after getting less than 6 hours of sleep, and no one seems to really understand what I'm talking about. This in mind, if I find myself still tossing and turning in the bed by say, 3:00, and I'm not expecting anything to be going on in the morning at work, I'll just leave a message on my boss's phone, I'll try to sleep a bit more, come in late, and it's no big deal. Today, however, I forgot that I did have an appointment with someone at 9:00 this morning. It hit me all of a sudden while I was laying in bed, around 10:00. I've forgotten appointments before, but for whatever reason, I felt particularly bad this time. It all adds up, I guess. It has me reflecting on my disappointment with the kind of person I've become since college.

I don't have a diagnosis, but I have a lot of autistic traits. While I've always had my weird ways, it never felt like a problem to me until I began working. As a student, I saw myself as smart and reliable. I made straight A's in college, aside from two B's. I saw myself as someone who got stuff done, and did it right. But now, as an employee, I don't feel so smart anymore, I'm forgetful, and very unmotivated. While the skills I use in my job are relevant to my interests, what I'm doing with those skills is completely uninteresting to me. Still, this wasn't much of a problem as a student. I feel like I just can't get anything done anymore.

Maybe I just need to get out of here and do something that clicks with me more. I don't know. I just wish I could feel good about myself, my abilities, and my reliability. I used to be that way, but I feel like my mind rejects the working world's way of operating. Has anyone else here felt like their autistic traits weren't a significant problem for them until after school? How have you dealt with it?

Well, I failed school and work. I deal with it by being unemployed.

So, you know, things could be worse.

Your last paragraph is your answer; seek what fulfils you.

YES!! ! Granted, I had my struggles all along, but I don't feel it's really been a "problem" until getting a "real job" (and getting married 6 months ago). so yes yes yes I totally feel ya. And I don't really have any more answers than you do right now...other than to just keep doing your best, hoping others understand, and TRYING to let it roll off since you know you're doing your best, even if others don't understand. I'd like a counselor to talk to for advice, but someone who really gets aspergers, and THAT seems impossible to come by. I'm 27 and can't wait to be retired haha.

You will always be a n****r at a klu klux klan rally, accept it and let go.

Then move on to where you want to be and forget them as best you can.

to surfman: I just laughed my butt off. Now THAT'S a way of putting it!

DonDud==TOTALLY agree. Although still, we have it better than people in other countries. I suppose if you were content to live in a small house/apartment and not take vacations or buy much, you could work less...just have to prioritize....but I think that's just the way our society is structured so we don't have a lot of choice but to go w/ the flow for the most part, or at least w/o losing in something else also important to us.