Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Adult Newly Diagnosed with Aspergers

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

Brown06
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 53

11 Oct 2010, 2:40 pm

Hi guys I am 26 and was just diagnosed. When I told my best friend for years about it, he railed on me and said I was just going into a "label" and that everyone has aspergers since the range is so wide. WTF. What the hell is with this attitude about aspergers?

I could care less about a stupid label, right now what's getting to me is that my entire life I have felt lost and confused so often and just brushed it off as though I am just different. Now looking at it through this lens, its eye opening and scary and then to add to it that my best friend believes I just want to be labeled something cool/different, really pisses me off.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,565
Location: Stalag 13

11 Oct 2010, 2:47 pm

You did what's right for you, and that's all that matters in the long run.

Welcome to WrongPlanet. :)


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


happymusic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,165
Location: still in ninja land

11 Oct 2010, 2:58 pm

Cockney Rebel is right. It almost sounds like your friend is being defensive about something. I wouldn't even discuss it with him any more. The point is that now maybe you can find the right help. I wish I had been diagnosed when I was 20 or so because maybe then I wouldn't have run my career and mental well being into the ground. From my perspective you are fortunate. I hope you benefit from the diagnosis.

There are people here who don't say anything to people outside of WP for the most part because people who don't know anything about it have preconceived notions and somehow the most ignorant rarely seem to see a reason to keep their opinions to themselves.



Gruntre
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 8 Oct 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 64
Location: Melbourne, Australia.

15 Oct 2010, 8:42 am

If everyone has Aspergers then no-one has Aspergers and vice versa. I think your friend is being a little too something as well. With an Aspergers diagnosis people do have to be more sensitive- It's like telling people you're gay, suddenly you have to be on your best behaviour, show empathy, be aware of the issues etc. Get more intelligent/less selfish friends maybe.
I'm at the point where I'd quite happily lose all of my family and friends, keep my diagnosis and not have to spend the rest of life wondering/wandering around trying to work out why people are so hostile and offensive all the time. Quite simply the diagnosis has been a life saver, cos damn if being dead didn't look very attractive sometimes.
Stick with it, it'll give you so much more of a satisfying and meaningful life to have a context within which to work out why life is just so stupid & people are just so f***ing awful...



Callista
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,775
Location: Ohio, USA

15 Oct 2010, 9:21 am

I think you posted this before, here--
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3108652 ... t=#3108652

So I'll just repeat my reply from that topic...

Quote:
Don't worry about it--I think maybe your friend believed that the "label" meant you were giving up on solving your AS-related problems. Of course, it's the exact opposite--having a name for it will help you find solutions, because now they are known problems that other people face, too.

Often times the general public believes that a developmental disorder like autism means you will always, always be the exact same you are now. Nothing could be further from the truth, though; autistic people learn things practically inevitably as time passes, given that we're not being actively abused or stressed so badly that we burn out. (I think we've all had the experience of having our brains just refuse to think any more after a lot of stress, yeah? Stay away from that if you can... not only is it unpleasant; it keeps you from learning stuff.)

So if they're assuming that autism means no improvement is possible, and they're seeing you're diagnosed with a subtype of autism, then they might well believe that the diagnosis either means that you (or your doctors) are giving up on solving problems--or they might believe that the diagnosis is incorrect because obviously you can learn, and therefore couldn't possibly be autistic.

Anyway, you're the same person you were before the diagnosis. All the stuff you know about yourself hasn't changed. You probably have more context to it.


_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com

Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com