Do you wish you were never born? Do you think about suicide

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I wish I had never been born. Second to that I wish I at least had the will-power to commit suicide.

I really can't stand life. I feel really angry towards my parents for having me, since having children is such a selfish act which spares no thought for how that child might suffer.

I know that I was not meant to be born, but that knowledge has not stopped me from applying myself to succeed.

I just wish I was born as somebody else, with natural social instinct. Yes, I know even NTs have problems, some have bigger problems than I do, but my problems are just unique, and wouldn't happen if I didn't have AS. I am not generalising here, like saying stupid things like ''oh I would have more empathy if I didn't have AS'' or ''oh I wouldn't be able to play the piano if I didn't have AS'' because that is just naive and I'm smart enough to know how ridiculous that sounds.

But there are a few things what probably (don't know for definate) would be a bit different if I didn't have AS. If I was still me, but just not with AS, (so if I was still brought up in the same family, etcetera), then I probably wouldn't have been lonely through school. I probably would have settled in properly like all the other children on my first day of school, without causing concern for the teachers or my parents. And even if I was a shy child, I still probably would still of had descent friends at school and would have at least been accepted. And now, as much as I love my friends, all my friends are of different ages and races, and if I were NT I probably would have a little group of friends of the same age, and just been able to make friends a little easier.

Oh, how I would LOVE a life like that! But, I suppose if I was born normal like everybody else, I would have took all my social skills for granted anyway, just like I take my familly for granted.

For those who are anti-cure, and think that autism is just a "difference," the results of this poll must be hard to explain.

Not anymore. As a kid I used to think about suicide frequently. Once the other kids learned how short my fuse was, lighting it became their favorite sport. I'd get in trouble for fighting, and nobody ever seemed to be the least bit interested in what the other children had done to provoke me, even when it was extreme.

The only thing that stopped me from attempting suicide was the thought of how it would absolutely crush my mother. Typically of me, the idea of telling anyone about how I felt and getting help never occurred to me.

The first time I heard Bohemian Rhapsody, the line "I don't wanna die, but sometimes wish I'd never been born at all" seemed like it should be my motto or something.

But to quote John Astin, "I'm feeling much better now."

I think about dying almost every single day

^^^me too, every day

My mother miscarried five times before I was born. I wish it could have happened when she was pregnant with me.

Considering how special it is to be alive on a planet. Considering how special it is to be a conscious brain. Considering how special it is to be in the top wealth % of this special life... No I never wished I was not born, I'm very thankful for it.

Would I like for my life to be a little easier and less complex sometimes? Sure thing!

I frequently experience suicidal ideation, which is one of the reasons I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder.

Regarding the results in this poll and not wanting a cure: It seems to me that often, for autistic people, depression and distress are due to other people and poor treatment, not necessarily specifically due to being autistic. I don't know how typical that is, and can't really speak for anyone else.

I felt this way in my preteens. I even thought about suicide in 6th grade and nearly got hospitalized for it when I said I was going to stab myself or jump in front of a car right when it comes close by so they won't have time to stop. Then when I was 16, I talked about doing it again and this time it was I was going to inject myself with my dad's insulin. He just kept his diabetic stuff up at his folks place and would go up there to take it.

I have felt suicidal over petty things like over having large breasts. Then I got over it when I was 15. Now they are smaller and I did it without surgery. Just have kids and breastfeed but it isn't guaranteed they will get smaller when you are done. They're still not small but they are smaller, a lot smaller.

I don't think about killing myself but I still feel suicidal sometimes. I feel there is no pointing in living and the only reason why I am here is because of my family and husband and child.

Yes, i was a mistake even in pre-birth and every day now i am wishing to not endure another day,

I have decided for myself that I will use heroine before I commit suicide. So in that sense, using heroine will be committing suicde.

This is also a very comforting thought, since it will mean I'll have a TOTAL BREAK-STATE of my mind since I've never ever come close to the opiod type stuff. Who knows what will happen to my thoughts then? Suicide always remains an option..

I find it interesting that people tend to assign a long list of reasons why they're not suicidal. However, someone else in the same circumstances may very well be suicidal because of mental illness.

The only really accurate explanation is "I am or am not suicidal because of the presence or absence of particular mental illnesses and the distortions in thinking they cause."

When I am suicidal, many of the reasons that I would say I am not suicidal at other times either contribute to suicidality anyway, or they are completely irrelevant. Being suicidal is not something I consciously choose, but rather is something that creeps into my thinking and changes my perceptions until the only viable future course I can see is killing myself. Fortunately, many of the depression symptoms that trigger suicidal ideation also make it extremely difficult to follow through on suicidal planning.

After sleeping through a hundred million centuries we have finally opened our eyes on a sumptuous planet, sparkling with color, bountiful with life. Within decades we must close our eyes again. Isn't it a noble, an enlightened way of spending our brief time in the sun, to work at understanding the universe and how we have come to wake up in it? This is how I answer when I am asked -- as I am surprisingly often -- why I bother to get up in the mornings. To put it the other way round, isn't it sad to go to your grave without ever wondering why you were born? Who, with such a thought, would not spring from bed, eager to resume discovering the world and rejoicing to be a part of it? We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here.

Richard Dawkins

All the time usually on bad days though [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCa5_CUZgUY[/youtube]