Hi, how are you?

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Do others find this greeting insincere, confusing, etc.? Most of the time people ask, they're walking past you or turning the other way, which suggests they don't mean it literally. Why is something so simple potentially so confusing for a person with AS?

It has the potential to make or break conversations for me.
I usually give one answer and then that's the conversation done.

I find it a relief that the phrase exists. Most of the time I don't know what to say to someone but I know they don't want to just be ignored, so I say "how are you?" It's great to be able to rely on that standby.

When someone asks me that I usually say "alright" but there's been times they've made a big deal out of "only" saying "alright". They ask, "just alright?". I get bothered by that and I think you're right, they don't literally care.

Then I started feeling weird because I would only respond to them and not ask them back in return and thought maybe I was supposed to. And so I started saying the same thing back and they'd sometimes not answer and walk away. I don't really know what to do plus it all seems really fake and unatural.

I've decided I'm going to try and just say, "so far so good.". This way I say a sentence and not have to say "alright" and get crap about it or lie and say "great". I haven't tried it yet. I don't feel comfortable asking "how are you?" In return and I've felt weird and had them walk away without a response.

If it's a stranger, it's just a greeting.

If it's a friend, it's (usually) literal.

If it's an acquaintance, it depends.

It bothers me when people assume it is always applied in an insincere way. I'm always sincere when I ask someone how they are, and always have been. I'm similarly sincere when I leave the presence of another individual. I will only leave them with a positive wish if I mean it. Otherwise, I will not.

I happened upon a rather rude bus driver a few days ago, who had chided me for being slow to board the bus and continue to imply I had done something wrong after I pointed out that his bus sign said "Not In Service". I did not tell him to have a nice day when I left.

it may not be always "insincere"as such, i feel it's just an automatic question, it is more or less fine by me, what annoys me is the reaction i have to it: My brain starts thinking about how i am doing. I have to block it and answer "fine", it doesn't last long, it's not terribly upsetting or anything, i just annoy myself starting to think and having to block it out. Just a quarter of a second , the time to adjust my reaction to what is expected of me.

I tend to ask it to close friends only because I really want to know (except on msn because I do not want them to ask me first) and I almost always forget to ask the question back (well, I tend to do this with any other questions when someone tries to talk to me, I think about something I could ask them and end up asking about the customs of their countries or something like that instead of themselves, my grandmother says it's inapropriate).

It seems that most people do not even want a real answer so it's confusing, when I ask something like that, I usually expect people to be honest and tell me how they are but most people seem to hate it when you say something else that "fine". I don't see the point in asking something if you do not want to hear the answer.

It used to be worse anyway, when I was younger, there was a time when I refused to say "hello" and "bye" for some reasons.

lol i still tend to forget those, they make me a bit uneasy, like nobody wants to know if i'm here or if i'm leaving, so why assume they care enough to respond to my hello or goodbye.....i've been ignored too much for my own good as a child it seems

I mean it when I ask it, but no one else does, so people tend not to answer the question properly. It's quite unsatisfying. How is one supposed to express to a person that you care about how they are doing if asking them how they are doing is meaningless?

Normally I am OK with that stuff (well, about as OK as an aspie can be).

But once, when I was going through a very difficult time for some months with regular sensory overload and massive anxiety, I had to go to a travel agent to get a visa. My partner and I announced our arrival at the desk and presently our agent appeared looking very friendly.

"Ah, you must be [my name]," she said. "How are you?"
I was too messed up to have expected the question and I stood there anxiously trying to figure out what to reply. Eventually I stuttered, "I... I... don't know the answer to that question."
She just smiled without taking a moment to treat me as though I was odd (although I was odd), and moved swiftly along to the details about the visa -- thankfully.

I was not in a good state back then, but when I think of it now, I find it quite funny.

I've said it so much that it just became completely natural for me. I never think twice about it.

My favorite reply to How are you?, How's it going?, etc is a simple one word response.


"Adequate"

It's amusing how people respond to it.

I like it. Very straight forward.

I reply " I am well."

You could try asking something more specific, like "how was your day?" or if you know what is going on in their lives, ask about that: " how has your mother been feeling?" if she was sick, etc.

No. Asking how are you as a social gesture is one thing. You just say you're fine; it's not that hard to learn. But I know people who say this as a greeting, in addition to or instead of hello, and that gets on my nerves. My mom says that usually when people do this, it's rhetorical, so now I never know whether or not I should answer.