enlightenment
No. And if I ever did start to feel that way I would take it as a sure sign that I'm not.
No. I do sometimes wonder why I got dealt the hand I did: childhood sexual abuse lasting a decade, brother dead of cancer when I was almost 7, peer abuse, teacher abuse, life-long unemployment, rape, domestic violence, homelessness, disability, friendless. rare sleep disorder . . . At times I wonder why me? And why so much?
But I wouldn't describe it as the weight of the world on my shoulders. The world can go take care of itself -- I'm too busy trying to get my own life under control to worry about the rest of the world.
All that said, what you describe is generally called existential depression. Look for a therapist with strong experience counseling the gifted.
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"In the end, we decide if we're remembered for what happened to us or for what we did with it."
-- Randy K. Milholland
Avatar=WWI propaganda poster promoting victory gardens.
What I mean is that I've found that people who are more successful at their lives and don't have the time to reflect don't get opportunity to question the world. I spend a scary amount of time on the internet and I research everything. I think neurotypes are more set in their ideologies and aspies are more willing to question (I suppose that gives me a certain bias) but it's true.
Enlightenment aside, I believe that feeling one has the weight of the world on their shoulders, in the sense that one has the conviction that they have some divine or supernatural responsibility or place in the universe, is considered a form of psychosis.
Do you mean that you feel your autistic/aspie traits seem to make you naturally more inclined to the sort of spiritual practice that would lead to enlightenment? For example, it seems that quite a few aspies on here meditate and meditation is associated with enlightenment.
I can see some parallels between the characterisitics of people with autism/aspergers and how enlightened beings are portrayed. For example, one theory of autism, the absent self theory proposed by Frith sounds a little like the weakening of the sense of self that Buddhists aspire to as they follow the path to enlightment in which no-self is the ultimate realisation. Another example, would be that in Buddhism it is said 'what the enlightened one sees as suffering, the ordinary person sees as happiness' and vice versa I think, something like that anyway but what is meant is that the pleasures of the senses are considered by ordinary people to be happiness but the enlightened one sees that as suffering and what ordinary people take to be suffering ie seclusion (and the pleasures of the mind/meditative states) is what the enlightened one delights in. And obviously there is a parallel here because of the sensory issues and preference for seclusions in people with autism/aspergers.
Regarding what Sparrowrose wrote about your first question, I agree that considering yourself more enlightened than others includes a sense of self - who is it whose more enlightened? and is somewhat egotistical...
but I think that if you do want to become enlightened then there may be some advantages to haivng autism/aspergers and its always good to work with your strengths:)
Spending a scary amount of time on the internet can lead you into some wacky beliefs about the world. One problem of having so much information at the fingertips is that we tend to look for things that confirm our biases. I did a period of scary amounts of time on the internet, and I got lost in some rabbit holes, but eventually I found my path, and the path.
I am more enlightened in the sense that I seem to suffer far less than my fellow beings. There's less 'me' here to claim it though
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Enlightenment is one of my life goals, you could say my only goal and purpose in life but we are all born ignorant so I don' t believe aspies are enlightened. We are more in touch with the meaning of the world but I currently believe that this is because we are more close to our animal nature. We have an animal nature, then the thinking mind, after that we have consciousness of thought. We have the opportunity to make it to this stage and may have greater interest in this that neurotypical types but may have to take a different path to them. But perhaps this isn't what you mean?
Enlightenment leads to an ease and lightness in life not a huge weight to bear though, that doesn't seem right.
If you really mean "feel", then, heck no. I've no feelings on the matter. Not a comparison I make.
But if what you really mean is, "Now that I've asked the question and you are thinking about it, do you think you are more enlightened than a typical neurotypical". Well, maybe. Can't go beyond that. To do do, I'd need a firmer definition of enlightenment, and then a better idea of how enlightened the average person is, by that definition.
One thing I still don't get, after reading this 2nd post with a further explanation of the question, is what do you mean by enlightenment? What's the connection, for you, between questioning and enlightenment?
As for the 2nd question in the original post, nope.
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not aspie, not NT, somewhere in between
Aspie Quiz: 110 Aspie, 103 Neurotypical.
Used to be more autistic than I am now.
Nobody who had gone through (or even gotten anywhere near) the experience known as enlightenment would talk about feeling "more enlightened" than other people. Because a thing like that is a property of the world, not of any individual person, and because such ranking shows too much spiritual pride for someone who has had their ego stripped away. The whole idea of "enlightened beings" as most people think about it tends to rely on a kind if thought that would not survive that process either. (And a person applying that concept to themselves over others... I once read someone who said that as you get closer to that whole experience, if you remembered thinking that way it would fill you with the kind of embarrassment most people would feel upon standing in front of a huge crowd naked -- only worse.)
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"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams