How do people with mild aspergers usually fare later in life

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kruger4
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18 Dec 2010, 9:09 pm

I feel like I have mild aspergers, not as serious as some of the cases on this forum(no offense), I also feel pretty smart and I've certainly improved on many things. I feel kinda hopeful that the older I get the better this situation will be for me and the more confident I will get. I still feel like there's a barrier holding me from gaining more experience though, I'm not sure if it will ever be 100%. I know my dad is probably aspie and he pretty much f****d up in life, I'm only about 50% sure that I will have a better life than him later on. Are there any people here that have overcome their negative beliefs?



Moog
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18 Dec 2010, 9:22 pm

My parents also probably have asperger's. They got by, but neither of them really got it together on the relationships front. I think it's been very instructive watching them and working out where they've gone wrong. Another advantage we have is that we have an idea about what we are, those guys didn't have a clue. Self knowledge is key.

How I'm faring at 30 is way better than at 21. But my life isn't a ball. Your experience might be very different for any number of reasons. There's so many variables.


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Mdyar
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18 Dec 2010, 10:02 pm

Moog wrote:
My parents also probably have asperger's. They got by, but neither of them really got it together on the relationships front. I think it's been very instructive watching them and working out where they've gone wrong. Another advantage we have is that we have an idea about what we are, those guys didn't have a clue. Self knowledge is key.

How I'm faring at 30 is way better than at 21. But my life isn't a ball. Your experience might be very different for any number of reasons. There's so many variables.


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I believe a big factor probably would be one of executive dysfunction.

I've seen it here on older aspies to where this has gotten significantly worse.

The inability to handle change would outweigh whatever you've gained in experience, but not everyone with AS has E.D., though.



wavefreak58
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18 Dec 2010, 10:10 pm

We grow old. We die. Just like NTs


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woodss82
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18 Dec 2010, 10:12 pm

wavefreak58 wrote:
We grow old. We die. Just like NTs


Whats a NT?

We all same realy as every single human being on this planet.



wavefreak58
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18 Dec 2010, 10:14 pm

woodss82 wrote:
wavefreak58 wrote:
We grow old. We die. Just like NTs


Whats a NT?

We all same realy as every single human being on this planet.


NT = neuro-typical. It is a termed used to describe anyone not on the autism spectrum.


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Mindslave
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18 Dec 2010, 10:32 pm

I'm not sure there is a typical outcome for any one group, however it's defined, but I have mild Aspergers, and I'm going to be famous in 10 years. I'm already a legend in my own mind.

I asked a psychiatrist what a half NT, half AS person would be called. He said, "A nerd" I think he has a point.



jojobean
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18 Dec 2010, 10:41 pm

I have definately gotten better with age...and OCD meds. However, the executive dysfunction problems are still really bad. I dont know how to get around that. I keep chasing my tail while trying to get something done. I am somewhat better socially, but I kinda regressed alittle since I am not in college and have to force myself to be social. Right now, I am a care taker for my mom since she has a really severe illness and needs my help, but that does not give me much experience in social interaction, so my skills have gone down. However, I am alot better functioning than I was as a kid. Aspergers is part of you, and you will never just snap out of it or completely grow out of it, but you can expand on the gifts and try to cope better with the limitations. If you dont have E.D., you will probably do better than if you have it. It seems to be the one thing in my life that I cant seem to overcome no matter how hard I try. Its kinda like walking backwards on a treadmill to get to the grocery store.


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18 Dec 2010, 10:46 pm

I think the level of stress you are under in your life and how well you cope with it can be a big determinate in how gracefully one ages. Reality is any organism in constant overdrive is going to wear out faster than one that takes life a little slower. It is hard to slowdown if your environment requires demands that are greater than your inherent nature. I've seen many threads that propose that midlife burnout is more prevalent with people on the Autism Spectrum. And, while many of our symptoms lessen as we adapt to them and move into adulthood, later in life the symptoms may reverse if we lose our coping mechanisms. Here is a link to one of those threads:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt128385.html

I think the best anyone can do to maintain their quality of life, whatever their age is, is to learn the best coping mechanisms to manage stress and make it a life-long practice.



Callista
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18 Dec 2010, 11:13 pm

What is "later in life"?

I guess my mom would qualify, barely, being in her fifties; she has maybe mild-to-moderate AS that was never diagnosed. She's employed, though she tends to last less than two or three years at any given job; she's had two husbands who mistreated her; but she's taking care of herself and successfully raised three kids. So all in all, I guess I would say she's doing okay.


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19 Dec 2010, 3:30 am

For me 31 is not the same as 21. I would have been unable to cope on my own at 21. At 31 I've learned enough about myself and life in general that I can hold my own, time has been my greatest ally, but there are still many days where I have to force myself to get up out of bed and face the world.

I don't think I'll ever be 100%, there are some things about the NT world I know I'll never be able to understand or deal with, but knowing and understanding yourself is the best thing I can do to help self.


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19 Dec 2010, 3:54 am

Mild diagnosed AS here, in my later 50s.

Many people with AS do manage to develop coping mechanisms for the social and emotional side of things - not saying perfect, but able to get by.

Sensory sensitivity can still be an issue - it is for me. That was the reason I went to a psychologist and was diagnosed: I am starting CBT for my sensory issues. I also have executive function issues, as others have mentioned too.

I did have intervention in my 20s - I lived with two families for about 5 years as part of a rehabilitative community and even underwent a 5 month intensive structured living program, with social skills training and lots of routine. I think this made the difference for me. I am married with children, and have had a reasonably successful career. My psychologist thinks I would still have been struggling if I hadn't had this intervention.

I don't think you ever stop being and feeling "different" - to the NT world around you, that is. I spent today at a family Christmas party. Actually, I spent most of the time outside by myself looking after our puppy (great excuse - he needed company), conscious that I didn't really feel comfortable with the mass gathering inside the house. But I was fine with the occasional relative coming out to visit the puppy and ask questions about him.



woodss82
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19 Dec 2010, 4:50 am

my dad has AS and hes a real terrible hoarder.



kruger4
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19 Dec 2010, 9:07 am

I'm gonna guess that having girlfriends would probably also help in the stress and happiness department.



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19 Dec 2010, 10:06 am

kruger4 wrote:
I'm gonna guess that having girlfriends would probably also help in the stress and happiness department.


They can push it either way... depends on whether you find a good one. :lol:


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greenheron
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19 Dec 2010, 11:23 am

I am getting up there in years and I have come to think of myself as a fool who missed a boat long ago and who raced from port to port to catch the boat and found that it had departed from each dock. If only I had accepted the fact that I could never be on that boat at the very first dock and had found another conveyance, I could have saved myself a lot of useless work.
Many of us fell into the trap of being "people-pleasers" and we frittered away precious time and resources as we tried to hammer ourselves as square pegs into round holes, instead of tapping into our own natural resources. If I only knew then what I know now. Maybe this forum can help younger people who are like us learn from the foolishness of us who are older, and the younger will learn not to spin their wheels. And this will be something the older will think of as something valuable we have left behind for our own kind.