ashamed of special interest

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i have always had a transportation based special interest, highways at first, i would even draw diagrams of road patterns. For the past 10-12 years now, my interest has been buses, city, highway, and so on. I am familiar with several groups on the internet who classify themselves as "bus nuts" or "bus fans".

Ive always felt ashamed of my interests, as if they are silly or childish (my father really drilled that into me). I have never revealed my interest to anyone outside of WP and the other forum i post on, afraid they will think im weirder than they thought. does anyone else have a hard time sharing their special interest?

I had special interests in dinosaurs, weaponry, Ferrari's, Middle Ages...
No matter what people said about it, I liked it.

I've had similar comments about my interests, it's their problem not mine.
Your interest isn't childish, and it can be very practical.

Don't let the bastards grind you down

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes

I have an interest in the London Underground and I like subways in general.

I also play computer games like Sim City a lot because I like coordinating the transport systems. There was an old game called Transport Tycoon where you got to actually plan routes for every single bus and build up the roads yourself. You could run ferries, hovercrafts, helicopters and trains, as well. It was quite challenging because the breakdown rate of the vehicles was very realistic (if you take how often British transport breaks down as a standard )

I kind of like trains but I don't spot them. My bf stands on platforms for hours so he can take photos. I get bored doing that. I don't mind reading about transport and going to transport museums, though. I'm not as passionate as he is; seeing a steam train will make his day, sometimes.

I have similar interests in transportation systems and road grids and all of that and subways and yes, it's not exactly fashionable. Where I worked there was someone who clearly was on the autistic spectrum who openly spoke of this and was ridiculed for it. It's not easy when people tell you that interests of yours are trivial and worthless. It's not just with subways with me, it's with my interest in geography and such things.

I have a special interest in Routemaster double decke buses. I have an average of 50 toy Routemasters around my appartment. I don't care if some people consider that to be childish. I walk into the toy store and buy myself one, every Victoria Day long weekend. I also might buy one in January when life seems dull to me.

My special interest is certain people. And hell yeah Im ashamed of it, I wasnt able to come to terms with it till a year ago. The thing, I can talk about these certain people in moderation but if I start talking about them excessively, people will think its weird. I have to be careful about getting into these peoples faces so they dont think Im creepy. I wish my special interests were not human, its fustrating.

It's your interests and you enjoy them. What others might disapprove about them is their problem.
Besides, I prefer to think of certain approaches to interests as childlike which to me, implies the sheer joy of exploring something amazing using the reasoning and understanding abilities of an adult - but with the open, accepting and unbounded approach of a child.

Most of my special interests are pretty technical (electronics, computing etc.) so I have a hard time sharing them with anyone not knowing the technical details, but I would have hoped for a better response to my interest in classical organ music and organ building - especially as I've given people recordings of stuff I've played. Quite pretty and tuneful stuff too (I know not to bother trying this with complex fugues and so on ) but it generally falls on deaf ears and I usually end up with the impression that they'd be happier with a drum track, bass guitar and vocals to go along with it...
<sigh> Pearls before swine, etc. etc.

I got lucky. My special interests (sports, especially MMA, & video games) are farily "normal". But when I was little, it was dinosaurs. It kind of weirded people out when I talked about them so much, but I eventually earned some respect for knowing pretty much all there is to know about the reptilians. But if people don't like it, that's their problem.

Off topic, @puddingmouse, is that game available in America perchance? Sounds like fun.

My special interests are rabbits, history, and the military. It's easier to talk about history with people than rabbits, considering that most of the population are dog people.

We all have special interest in something, even NT's. It's not a shame at all, you have the right to talk about it and the others have nothing to do to this. Your interests about transportation is not very childish as you said, trust yourself!

Wow... your story sounds like mine. I've had various special interests, but like you, it was drilled into me that it was abnormal to like something THAT MUCH. I was literally yelled at with such things as: "Why do you always have to talk about [insert special interest]" and/or "Why can't you talk about different things like normal kids?" I didn't know because I wasn't diagnosed on the spectrum until adulthood.

I have always been ashamed that I had special interests. Even before my diagnosis, I was trying to do something constructive with them. My special interest in adoption & attachment issues influenced my choice of study and I got 2 degrees out of it. by GOD'S GRACE ,YE-AH!! !! <-- no really!

Anyway, my current special interest which is Temple Grandin is still weird in my life a) because I live in the same city and there's always the potential of running into her randomly. Knowing me, she'd probably run into me when I'm doing something random like stocking up on ridiculous amounts of oreos or candy or something.... ANYHOO, and b) because I still have those thoughts in my head ingrained from childhood. I now have to say - sometimes out loud, "You're NOT stupid for having this interest!" I have found a constructive outlet for this one: I helped some kids I nannied over the summer be nicer to their cats by teaching them stuff based on her research I also used her life as a template in a way, to look at mine, and that helped me heal from my past.

So, in sum, if you can find help to stop the bad thoughts that stem from your childhood in your head about your interests and then find constructive outlets for them, that helps. But it's a hard road, I know. I feel you, I really do. It's hard when you've been shamed about special-interests because for people on the autism spectrum, it really is a giant majority of our lives.

I loved dinosaurs as a kid. That was one of my first special interests.

To the OP, your interest could be very useful. Have you tried getting a job in urban design or something?

Don't be ashamed. I bet you never get lost. Sim City is old. I got it for my kids for like $1.99 off ebay. They prefered Rollercoaster or Zoo Tycoon back then. My youngest loves Viva Pinata and goes for hours managing animals and a garden.

I get interested with extraordinary famous people from time to time along with other interests. I'm fascinated by some people's lives and what makes them keep doing what they love in the face of adversity and why I can't feel that strongly about something too.

It's sad when people look at something as merely an obsession. It's only when after you have absorbed everything necessary, created something grand (in their eyes) that your interest is seen a valid waste of time.

I think part of what bothers people, if you have a special interest, is if without realising it, you get a kind of tense, intent look.
It's the intensity, not so much the amount you say or know. This is just me thinking back over people I have talked to who I now think were prolly aspies too. Tension is catching.

I notice my husband switching off if I start out all intense about a subject, but I can discuss the same thing with different body language and get away with it. I am learning to hold on to information until it fits into a conversation we are already having, instead of "telling" it to him. I thought this was me allowing for his poor listening skills, but its probably me slowly learning a new skill.

yup, sounds like you are working on the art of good conversation. hearing people talk about something they aren't into like they are reading info to them out of a textbook is not what most people want, no matter how much the person sharing loves it.

i have a couple special interests. one is fishkeeping. i have 6 aquariums, from 10 gallons up to 150 gallons. there is a pet shop in town where i love to go and the man that owns the store i'm sure is on the spectrum and fish are his special interest. he knows absolutely everything about them and when i go in there i can talk to him for hours, and he seems to really like having someone that is into it to talk to as well. my other special interest is sewing. i started making stuffed animals when i was a preteen. now i am into quilting which is really an old lady's hobby so no one i know my age wants to hear about it but they seem to like looking at my projects very breifly. some even ask intelligent questions. i can tell my other half does not much like to hear about the fish or the quilting though, but he enjoys looking at the tanks and helping my chose fabrics for special projects sometimes. i have forums that i go on to discuss these things. i understand though. he is into WOW and as much as i try to listen to what he is going on about when he tells me about his game i am secretly wishing he'd stop talking and go back to his game.
my AS 11yo is pretty obsessive about dogs. all toys must be dogs. all gifts must be dog related or dog themed. shirts must have dogs. books about dogs(although cats or other animals may be substituted if necessary)
my AS 5yo doesn't have any special interests that i know of other than breaking things.
my 4yo who may be AS(i'm fairly certain he is, knowing the early signs well as i do now from the other children) is really into vehicles of all sorts. everything turns into a driving/riding game. he even pretends that the 'bounce' my 5yo does on the couch when he is rocking is car movements.
even my 2yo, who is nt so far as i can tell as of yet, has special interests of his own. he is a builder. he will stack anything, builds towers much taller than himself. today he was building a tower and when he couldn't reach the top anymore from the chair he was on he slid it over beside the table and wanted to climb up on the table to keep building it taller. (obviously i did not allow that)

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