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SteelMaiden
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24 Dec 2010, 2:32 pm

I have AS and I sometimes go completely mute under stress (I go semi-mute more often though). I had this while on the psych ward and the nurses simply didn't get it despite me writing out "I am sorry but I can't speak right now" on a piece of paper and showing it to them

How am I supposed to explain my bouts of mutism to people when I'm mute?


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Alphabetania
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24 Dec 2010, 3:11 pm

Oh, boy, I really feel for you. This happens to me too when I am in extreme sensory overload. And it's pretty bad when someone misunderstands what's happening and I can't explain it, and they think I am being offensive. Especially since I am normally very articulate and talkative. (In fact, I am a lecturer -- talking is an important part of my job!)

I have even had a very upsetting nightmare about this.

I don't know how to explain this phenomenon to people, except that I have started to suspect that this must be what autistic people who can't speak at all are going through all the time.

I keep a card with me explaining that I have Asperger Syndrome and that if I am handing this card to you, it is because I am struggling to communicate.

I really hope someone can help with this. It just seems to me that the psychiatric nurses don't understand autism very well.


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cnidocyte
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24 Dec 2010, 3:13 pm

I'd carry a piece of paper saying "I can't speak right now because I have a throat infection" or something like that. Its BS but everyone will understand what a throat infection is and see it as a legitimate reason not to talk and leave it at that.



SteelMaiden
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24 Dec 2010, 3:15 pm

Thanks guys. I think making a card is a good idea. I will try that. Thankfully I only get attacks of mutism under great stress


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Alphabetania
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25 Dec 2010, 3:03 pm

Maybe you should print out my reply and show it to them the next time you see them so that at least they will understand that you are not the only person who goes through this. :-/

You could also ask advice from Carly Fleischmann on Twitter or Facebook. Her Twitter profile is at http://twitter.com/carlysvoice and you should be able to find her through a Facebook search.


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Volodja
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25 Dec 2010, 3:05 pm

Throat infeection excuse sounds like a good idea to me.

Either way, I would give a reason, whether it's true or not. People are more likely to "understand" if you give it a name. Just saying you can't speak right now will make them wonder why.



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25 Dec 2010, 3:12 pm

Through writing or signing if possible.


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pgd
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25 Dec 2010, 3:17 pm

Some forms of (temporary) mutism are linked to simple partial seizures which temporarily disrupt the ability to speak easily. After a period of time, that area of the brain tends to normalize and the ability to speak returns. The many epilepsies are allotted to the field of neurology. That's my understanding.



Alphabetania
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25 Dec 2010, 3:27 pm

Volodja wrote:
Throat infeection excuse sounds like a good idea to me.

Either way, I would give a reason, whether it's true or not. People are more likely to "understand" if you give it a name. Just saying you can't speak right now will make them wonder why.

I disagree completely, She was in a psychiatric hospital. These people will open up your throat and say you are lying and then they will put that on your psychiatrist's record instead of gaining more understanding about what the problem actually is. You don't get help that way, you only get people treating you for conditions you don't actually have.


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Alphabetania
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25 Dec 2010, 3:31 pm

There's mention of temporary mutism in this thread:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt144317.html


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notcoyote
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25 Dec 2010, 4:13 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
I have AS and I sometimes go completely mute under stress (I go semi-mute more often though). I had this while on the psych ward and the nurses simply didn't get it despite me writing out "I am sorry but I can't speak right now" on a piece of paper and showing it to them

How am I supposed to explain my bouts of mutism to people when I'm mute?


DO NOT EXPLAIN YOURSELF TO OTHERS

TRY

NOT GIVING A f**k!! !



Zen
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25 Dec 2010, 6:40 pm

I like the card idea. I have this problem myself, and I generally just end up giving up and forcing a smile and shrug.

I have nightmares about it also. In fact, pretty much every time I have a nightmare it involves either being unable to speak when I really, really need to, or having a very dramatic meltdown.



buryuntime
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25 Dec 2010, 10:01 pm

Can you just hide or walk away? It's my automatic reaction to cover my mouth or face and turn away or look down when I can't speak. But I feel extremely defenseless when I can't speak which just makes me want to get away. This perhaps isn't the most appropriate response but I've never given it much thought. If I'm alone with someone and they are asking me questions and I can't respond I end up bawling or laughing inappropriately.

A card sounds like the best idea. I was a bit younger when having to deal with people in such a way or am with a parent so maybe now I'm supposed to try not to do these things, although I can't stop myself from crying, ever.



Danman
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26 Dec 2010, 2:16 am

I also sometimes go mute but only when I am in very big trouble like if cops are involved or something. and I just sit very still with my hands in my lap and my head down and my mouth shut tight.



Annmaria
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26 Dec 2010, 2:54 am

If we cant figure out whats going on how do we expect other? I always think that I am overly smart and everyone else is stupid do you feel the same



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26 Dec 2010, 5:32 am

SteelMaiden wrote:
I have AS and I sometimes go completely mute under stress (I go semi-mute more often though). I had this while on the psych ward and the nurses simply didn't get it despite me writing out "I am sorry but I can't speak right now" on a piece of paper and showing it to them

How am I supposed to explain my bouts of mutism to people when I'm mute?



Understood, SteelMaiden, and good replies back. I sort-of began this forum *sticky* some time ago but unfortunately it can remain without notice. I so much like what you wrote - maybe you can post here:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf73273-0-345.html

I wish the name of this *sticky* were different now since any Aspie does experience, at times, periods of un-communication....even muteness. I have had periods of nearly total muteness yet I am, by all accounts, high-functioning (diagnosed AS) and otherwise do well.

Personally, your note "I am sorry but I can't speak right now" ought to be more than sufficient (except you should not have to apologise). I think the problem is that the manifestations of Autism (e.g. muteness) are so misunderstood! I hope the forum above is a good place. Countless times I've cried because I simply cannot speak. Others stare.


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