What is it about me that pisses people off so much?

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Don't worry, I can't have them. I can't go to a GED class becuase my social anxiety and PTSD would go through the roof. I'm completing high school via a homeschool course. I looked into a GED but it would take longer to study for that that the homeschool course I am taking.

So take the easier way out?

No, what works for me.

You can get one online now.

Because I'd still have to study for it and it would take longer than the homeschool course I am doing. The homeschool course is what works for me. I wouldn't pass an online course right now.


So I'm supposed to let myself be everyone else's punching bag until I earn their respect?

The GED is designed to test you on the things you should know before leaving highschool. If it would take you longer to study for the GED, it means your homeschooling course is insufficient.

I am going to get a GED. It's mostly just reading, I believe other than mathematics. The history and science are mostly just text you read on said subjects and then answer questions to.

You would not be anybody's punching bag if you kept your head down and showed respect and humility. Honestly, you have neither and that makes it hard for even us to like you. The facts are as follows... Getting into Vet school is deadly hard. You will have to be utlra sharp in college to get even a slight chance of being accepted. Today... you are in your 20s and working on your GED via homeschool because you cannot handle being in a classroom. How exactly do you suppose are you going to handle being a Vet or attending a vet program if you cannot be in a classroom? Have you set realistic short-term goals towards this lofty goal you have? What makes you think this goal is possible besides the fact that you want it?

Woo kfisherx! Tell it like it is!

Instead of being angry or sad, I am having a major WTF momment? What are you trying to tell me? You are coming across with the same mindset as those bullies.

Maybe your perception on what constitutes a bully is warped?

Perhaps it is. So many concepts are alien to me, friendship, empathy, theroy-of-mind, etc. "Respect" to me has always just been a word that meant not harass or bully. What I meant to say originaly is why do people find me so annoying that they find it justifiable to kill me? You seem to be bascialy agreeing with those people in the original link I posted. I will always be annoying to people becuase I don't back down to just anyone. I don't think I will ever understand the concept of empathy.

Hopefully by the time I get to vet school, I will find someone who will help me overcome my phobia. I can't concentrate on so many things at once. Believe me, the homeschool course is what is best for me, maybe not for you but for me. Instead of coming across as as*holes, why can't you simply ask me the original reason I didn't finish high school when I was supposed to? I will pretend you did. I had a nervous break down. I am the victim of the pharmacutical company. I went to the doctor and asked for something to help me sleep. Instead he gave me a powerful antiphycotic. The anti phycotic did the exact oppisode of what it was supposed to do and made me physotic. When I told the doctor about it, he perscribed something to curb those symptoms and I just got even worse symptoms but just kept being given more and more drugs to curb the side effects of the previous drug. I was practicaly a zombie and couldn't focus on basic life, let alone school work. Commiting me to a mental hospital would have only made things worse, they gave me more drugs and the stress of my routine being distrupted made me have a replase. The drugs were doing nothing but slowly killing me. I couldn't even walk without feeling like I was going to collapse from lack of breath. My doctor brother probably saved my life and told my parents I had to somehow get off of them. It took over five years but I eventualy did. I wish I could have graduated high school at eighteen like most kids too but I was still recovering. I couldn't sit down and read a book, let alone write a report on it. I couldn't do anything academily for over five years and that is why I am still in high school at 24. I also may be 24 physicaly, but mentaly I am still 14, perhaps even 8. I'm not ready for the college enviroment yet. We all mature at diffrent rates. There is no age limit for vet school so what's the rush? With the homeschool course I can take my time and acutaly learn things instead of just learning the answers to a test. I'm getting the high school expirence the "medication" prevented me from having. I'm sorry if I came across as an utter as*hole. I didn't realise I was. As I said, empathy is an alien concept I will never master fully. Aparently respect is an alien concept as well. I am sorry if I offended anyone.

The subject of life and death is always a delicate one. I see things both logically and humanly in that regard.

There is a part of me that says that the world is overpopulated and that the supply of people exceeds the number of jobs and therefore it would benefit everyone if the unproductive people died or were killed off. After all despite what we're all told about how much we mean to our "loved ones" people happen by accident, we aren't miracles at all - myself included.

Then I'm also blessed with the side that says "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", "live and let live", and all the "good" things that everyone expects from other people. This part of me wouldn't wish anyone dead aside from a murderer, rapist or at least something nearing that level of disrespect for his fellow man.

The fact is regardless of what we're taught throughout our lives there is no right or wrong as long as you don't believe in a religion. You can do what *YOU* think is right or you can do what you think is wrong thinking the benefits will outweigh the suffering of your conscience

Respect is complicated. Even someone who hates you can respect you just by NOT beating you up but that's not the level of respect most people desire. The highest levels of respect are probably considered worship. To establish some respect amongst your peers you need to give a little, which will hopefully be returned (but may not be thanks to people being complicated).

You don't have to back down to people not be annoying. It would probably help of course, but I pride myself on not backing down to anyone (even though I sometimes regret it when things escalate it). What is important is knowing when to listen, when to speak, what to say and do. Being able to deal with emotions helps too but you could probably skirt around it.

edit: meds can really f**k a person up, I was lucky in that medications were not fully explored for me. I took Zoloft as an anti-depressant and that didn't do that much good, just to tick my mom off I'd wake up in the morning and be like "HI MOM! GOOD MORNING! LIFE SUCKS!". Going off of it I would have random sensations that felt like electrical shocks. Then we tried the natural approach and got me tested for neurotransmitters, my seratonin came back at 1/6th of normal - funny thing was that was one of the happier parts of my life as a minor. So I started taking loads of "supplements" which made me fart non-stop and I was eating so much supplement crap that I quit eating food so we quit using that and nobody has bugged me to see a doctor and take meds ever since. Anyone I know who has taken meds has been through worse than me.

Last edited by Pistonhead on 19 Jan 2011, 3:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

Not what I mean.

But don't expect people to respect you or give you respect, if you're not giving them any respect.

Respect is a two way street.

What I mean is sometimes you have to eat a little bit of humble pie.

Respect is earned, not given. Don't expect that just because you've had such hard times or had bad experiences that you deserve respect. Your actions, the words you use, what you say is what earns you respect. The less humble pie you have, the less people will be humble to you.

I am NOT bullying you rather trying to help you. Perhaps we have some hope here with your apology in that you see that you may own some of this.

What I am trying to do is to demonstrate to you why your BLACK/WHITE approach to life is going to bite you in the a$$ and in a BIG way. You are pushing a rope up a hill with your dream of being a Vet. What I mean is that Vet school admission is deadly hard for even a normal person who is in normal college and funtioning at a really high level. You have a LOT of issues that you must face right now and you are stating that if you do not make this HUGE goal that you would rather be smashed in the head with a brick (or some such statement) Yet you have no real plans to make this goal, only excuses why you are in such a mess. What are you plans for getting into Vet school given the odds against you right now?

You were told by at least another person that you should have a back up plan to this lofty goal. What happens if you cannot get over this phobia that you seem to have? What happens if you cannot go to college due to xyz and have to do all your courses online? What happens if you are never suited to work in an office enviornment or interface with people? What is your back up plan?

IMHO, you should revisit the social skills training that you shunned earlier in life as a first step in your grand plan to Vet school. You are VERY broken in some of these areas but all of these skills CAN be learned. Heck if I can learn these things ANYONE can. What good is Algebra if you cannot learn ToM skills or to see options other than BLACK/WHITE? After social skills training, work on your issues with being in public enviornment. You have a lot more work to do to reach your goal but anything is possible if you understand the right steps and take those steps one at a time.

I don't plan to go into private practice. I can fake empathy pretty good but I just can't feel it. What extactaly are these "social skills" I keep hearing about. I could always get a job back in Ohio, it must be somekinda requirment for all the private practice vets to be cold and distant. Well, at least one was....her kid was diagnosed as autistic so I have to wonder if it goes deeper. The other was just a jerk who cared only about money. My parents are ALWAYS being complimented on my good manners. If I can have such good manners and some vets can be ubber as*holes, I think I'm pretty well off. I can always get a scolorship or something anyway.

I don't know why people don't believe that you will get over your issues. It's like me and wanting to be a physicist. I gave up on that because of all the studying involved and the amount of years I'd have to spend at University. And all that money for one single course. I don't have any backups either. It's hard to have a backup when you are so passionate about something. Well I'm trying to do writing books to see where that will get me. Everyone wants me to take photos and while I'm good at it it's not my passion.