When to let people know you're an aspie?

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This has been bothering me for some time now. But is there an appropriate time to tell a friend or somebody in general that you're an aspie? Should I just bite mytongue?

I'm not sure if people would be offended by you telling them or not.

Any input?

When someone needs or wants to know and you are prepared to tell ... and in my own experience, few people really need or want to know.

I agree with leejosepho, as usual. If you feel the need to explain your oddities, I suggest explaining your specific quirks without bringing autism/Asperger's into it. For example, I have a tendency not to catch when my coworker is being facetious, so I lightly explained to him one time that I tend to take things at face value. Now, whenever it comes up, I just say, "Face value!" and he seems to understand/accept it. He knows I'm a "weirdo," but I've seen no reason to bring neurology into it.

I agree. I would add that if you think it might cause problems in the relationship, it might be worth considering, but I would try to avoid it if at all possible. I think Kaybee's approach is a good one.

FWIW, only two people outside WP know I have AS, my mom and my friend. I was reluctant about telling my mom but I had to because I needed information about my childhood for my assessment and couldn't think of a good alternate reason for the info; it didn't go well when I told her about my dx, which was a year-and-a-half go, and we haven't talked about it since. I told my friend because she's been there for me for a long time and I felt she should know; plus I trust her more than anyone else I know. She was very accepting and actually wanted to learn more about it. Otherwise it's strictly on a need-to-know basis, and most people don't need to know.

When you are friends with someone for long enough you already know how he/she responds to certain situations. Try to share some less harmful secrets with him first. Test him. My advise is not to tell too many people about your AS. When it comes me to only my familiy knows and one friend, that I've been friends with for 8 or so years. What I did is I took him for a long walk and we talked, amongst other things about my AS. He was completely understandful as I asessed. If you are unsure whether to tell someone about it, rethink about it very carefully, and if you are still 50-50, it's your choice (although I wouldn't tell anyone if there was even a slight rejection chance).

I told a coworker because he was often having to deal with my oddities. Haven't told anyone else yet, but will be putting a formal DX in my employee file. THis step scare the beejebees out of me because I have no way of judging the consequences. I suppose if I could judge the consequences adequately then I wouldn't be a spectrum-ite.

I was dx'd just 10 or so weeks ago and EVERYONE who knows me knows. I was hoping to get some disagreement on the diagnosis from somebody, but everyone who knows me said the label fit me. LOL! Now it is a big joke amongst all my peers, mentors and friends.

This must have been a great relief to you. The one coworker I have told was not at all surprised. He told me that he has a relative that has learning and developmental disabilities and he thought he recognized some similarities. That sort of freaked me out because I thought my mask was more opaque than that.

i was just diagnosed at 29 so got really interested in it and told many people

Only my family knows of my AS. I fail to know if anyone else knows of my AS. I only mentioned it once in a class when the topic of AS came up, but I think that they quickly forgot about it.
I also fail to know if I should ever mention it. Maybe if I had a close friend and he/she was wondering why I was different, I would possibly mention it then.

Well I don't really see much point in having much of a relationship or friendship with anyone who would judge because of it.......I mean sure the instant I meet someone new I am not going to say 'Hi I have aspergers, depression, anxiety, PTSD and probably some other problems' to someone before I know them. But eventually it would come up in getting to know each other so I might mention some of that so they can understand I might be a bit different and be a bit instable at times. And if they are gonna run away, well they where not a friend worth having.

I've been having this question myself. Been thinking about "coming out" as Aspie on Facebook!

This applies to me at the moment. Although I haven't yet had my formal diagnosis, I'm not sure whether once I've had it I should tell my colleagues. I will probably tell my boss, as we have to declare health issues where I work, it's the colleagues I'm not sure of. It's a small office, and they are all (usually) lovely, and I feel like it might help explain some issues.... hmm.

Nobody treats Asperger's seriously anymore, as I've come to learn. They'll either throw it back at you as a joke or they just won't care if you tell them.

Well my family's full of aspies so that's a non-issue. I've told a few other people that we've known for a long time and none of them was surprised at all. They say "ya I thought you might have that." That shows how oblivious I am about these, eh? I suspect that any new people we meet would quickly figure out anyway, so probably no need to hide it for long.

I tend to casually mention it sometime before a friendship develops. I prefer people to know why I am odd rather than reading into my behavior something that isn't there.