Asperger's and lying ...

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I find it very hard to lie, or else I feel really guilty if I do so. I just tell the truth, instead. It's that much more easier for me.

When I was a kid I went through a phase where I would tell stories about my "friends". I didn't have any friends. I think it was an expirment in lying to see if something bad really would happen to me like my parents claimed.

i am terribly good at telling white lies. they are essential in my life in order to get by. for instance, i have to lie to my mother so that she is not constantly worried about me.

For me lying can be easy or difficult. Like if something is too funny to hide, I just can't help but laugh or smile. But if its something that I absoluty have to keep secret, then I just do the best I can to keep my mouth shut.

This is an interesting subject because my son never lies, even to get himself out of trouble. But that wasn't mentioned in any of the AS books I read, so I thought that was just his thing.

Is this common?

I constantly got accused of lying when I was a kid, even though I was telling the truth. The way I was brought up, if you could not prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were telling the truth, it counted the same as lying. This came back to cause tons of problems as an adult, even today. I've lost jobs; been confronted by a crazed, overzealous police detective; and generally gotten a lot of people mad at me. I can't even begin to count the number of times I've told the truth but felt like I was lying, and I'm sure the NTs all read my body language as that of a liar.

One way to send me dangerously close to an instant meltdown is merely to accuse me of doing something I didn't do. I immediately feel guilty even though I'm innocent, and I start nervously fidgeting, decreasing the amount of eye contact, stammering, and showing other behaviors that I believe most people associate with someone who is lying.

Anything even remotely resembling a cross-examination sends me over the edge as well.

The irony of it is, I am one of those people who tells the truth in such detail that I end up screwing myself over by giving out too much information and therefore giving my opposition too much ammo to work with.

my ex best friend /ex occasional friend with benefits (male aspie) lies to me all the time.
he lies about his whereabouts, lies about his activities, lies about staying in school (after he dropped out),lies about love, lies about sexual desire, lies about previous lies, lies about lying. it's all bad here for me as a person who cares for him. i'm not contacting him at all right now. see if he notices.

Though I have the ability to do so, I avoid lying at all costs. To me, deception (unless it is for some truly good reason) is the worst of crimes, as by its nature it is one executed with full self awareness; I think Dante thought the same

I'm very opposed to lying myself. I can do it but i hate it. To me people just don't warrant lowering myself like that. Better I give them the truth even if it embarrasses me. I'll sleep better.

There was a time when I was younger that I would lie to preserve my public image. Don't care much about that today.

I do not like to lie at all and I find it reprehensible. I find omissions of facts to be lies as well.

That said, I certainly CAN lie and pull the wool over peoples' eyes easily. But I choose not to.

I can only lie for positive reasons, to make people feel good. I struggle to lie in order to gain or even for the 'greater good'. This will have to change for my own 'greater good'. I think I need to see Hot Fuzz again

I can lie very well should I need to. I prefer not to. But I will do it if it's not something important and it would hurt someone I care about to say the truth (hurting their feelings counts as well).

NTs don't ask you "Do you like my new boots?" for an honest answer. They ask it for validation that what they've chosen is good. They think it's good, that's why they got it in the first place. It doesn't really mean "what do you think of my boots?" translated to our language, it means something more like "I'm happy about this purchase, will you share in my happiness? That would increase my happiness by making me feel you care". I may not share their taste, I may think they're hideous, but a kind lie of "Yes. They're so you, they'll go great with your coat." spares their feelings. It lets them feel good about something they want to feel good about and doesn't really cost anything.

Conversely telling the truth that I think those boots are hideous will only cause conflict, they'd feel hurt because it was something they liked. They would perceive it as me saying they have terrible taste. They may have terrible taste, but sometimes just letting things like that slide and lying is how shall I put it, oiling the social machine to make it run a bit smoother (too much oiling the social machine and those same lies will mess up the incomprehensible clockwork). I think if I went the path of strict honesty I'd fast run out of people willing to even acknowledge my presence, let alone anything more.

I learnt to be less honest when people asked for compliments. I remember for awhile I kept saying 'I don't know' when asked how an outfit looked on someone. That was the truth. I didn't know anything about the fashion at the time.

I hate lying. Sometimes I do it to avoid a confrontation but I just feel so wrong. My compliments are nothing but 'good' or 'nice' or 'cool'.

I don't get how omitting something could be a lie. A lie isn't telling the truth not hiding a fact. What if you forget about the information and leave it out? How's that different from omitting the truth? All these silly rules that we must somehow just know...