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ResilientBrilliance
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02 Mar 2016, 10:44 pm

The girl who sits next to me at work has coughed everyday ALL day for the past 5 weeks. It's ridiculous. I've thought about calling her out on it, or dumping a bag of cough drops on her desk lol. But I'm really trying to let this coughing thing go. Besides, she'd just act like I was crazy. Even though it's obvious to me no one should have a cough or cold or whatever for over a month. A few months back when I was training for the job, it was the guy next to me who would cough all day everyday. It's hard to work when someone is coughing as soon as I make a movement. :/

I do tend to smell from time to time because I have issues with body odor, but I don't think that's why they cough. If anything, I would bet most of the people in this thread have social anxiety issues, not issues with odor. My theory is still that something about our body language or demeanor is abnormal and making people uncomfortable. Well I've decided that's their problem. I'm not harming them by being an awkward weirdo. At least if I was smelly I'd feel slightly bad.

Again, I am fairly certain that people do it out of discomfort/"awkwardness" although it could be a form of hostility. I was reading a book, The Husbands Secret, and the author would make the characters cough whenever they felt awkward lol. I don't believe in awkwardness myself, but I do know people think there's such things as awkward silences and whatnot. Now THEY are the ones imagining things lol. Anyway I've decided to make a strong effort to not think about this coughing thing anymore. Obviously I just wrote a lengthy post on the matter but I just wanted to get off my chest that the coughing girl is ridiculous and I'm not going to let her coughing bother me anymore.



dougieP
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03 Mar 2016, 2:26 pm

ha, ResilientBrilliance, I'm in such a similar situation. The guy next to me at work coughs every five minutes all day, all week. It's almost funny. I was a lot at home in the last years due to anxiety, so I thought I couldn't stand the constant coughing at a working place. Not that I'm there it's like... it doesn't get better but I can't be upset all the time. Sometimes I don't even realize he's coughing for some time. It's almost okay since I have some nice people there, too. And some people seem to be immune or at least more immune to whatever is causing them to cough. By the way when I talk to the "ill" guy, he's nice and acts completely normal towards me.
I agree, I guess most people here have quite similar social anxiety issues. I know it sound quite strange but it would be funny to meet some of you guys in real life and just go out to "dangerous" places.



jonny5
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12 Mar 2016, 9:50 am

It happens to me too. Mostly Spanish people. Im pretty sure its a way of saying and or bullying you. Coughing im pretty sure means your sick. Or they know something about you. Do you live in a small town? But you should just look at them in the I mean really LOOK THEM DOWN! And cough back at those bastards. Even on a bus Cough even louder than them! They are pretty much bullying you. Or just look them right in the eyez and ask them "Are you ok??
Its pretty much a cowards way out of saying something to you without really saying anything, like a inside joke. But these people are pretty much cowards and don't say it to you face!



csokolin
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13 Aug 2016, 4:00 am

There is no doubt in my mind that certain people (NT's) purposely and intentionally cough around other people for the sole purpose of causing distraction. I'm hypersensitive to people coughing, and it interferes with my daily life. I'm a really nice guy, good-looking, and I get along well with virtually everyone. II've become so upset by this that I've actually confronted strangers who violently and consistently cough in my presence, and I've always been met with hostility. One woman told me to "F" off.

I don't want to believe it, but I do think these people are malicious and are trying to convey a sign of aggression or hostility. 95% of them don't cover their mouth, and their cough isn't indicative at all of an illness, it's their horrible way of communicating some unconscious issue they have with others.

I think it's best to not focus on whether you are presenting yourself in an uncomfortable manner, because by doing so you are only justifying that there is something wrong with you. Don't question their reason for being rude, doing so will only upset you more. I really feel for anyone suffering from this, it really is difficult. I'm glad this post exists, because it is a huge problem.



INTPnarwhal
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16 Aug 2016, 12:54 am

Do you smoke?



eppine
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21 Aug 2016, 11:34 am

This thread may be the most detailed one around for people with similar problems to share their experiences and seek possible solutions. Hence I hope to contribute my two cents with this newly registered account.

A bit of personal history before addressing the topic of this thread; this paragraph may be safely ignored unless you are really curious. I entered school earlier than most, and have suffered from numerous conditions possibly because of that. The first episode occurred in middle school, when for half a year I felt lonely and depressed and wanted to cry when left alone. Social problems have been around since I was very young, but got considerably worse in college, after several months studying in a foreign country. That summer I worked on a research project in a shared office with a young lady, and sometimes found her sighing for no good reason. Since then communication with others has become more unnatural, and further worsened in graduate school by doing research alone in my office while hardly talking to anyone. More recently, the situation improved somewhat when I had to work in a shared office and teach undergrads during the semesters. However, the problem persists that my office mates often sighs more or less frequently depending on the "positivity" of my state of mind.

In the past year or so, the frequent sighing in my presence has turned into coughing that many of you have also experienced. As noted by some of you, this is an unconscious physiological reaction of neurotypicals towards us. Most of the time they do not hold any negative opinions of us, provided that we do not overreact to their coughs. However, the fact that our presence causes their coughs does create an uncomfortable environment around us, though perhaps not so much for them since they may not know the source or care much in the first place.

This is an ongoing problem that I am still battling with, but here are some thoughts on the underlying physiological mechanism and possible solutions.

Though some of you have attributed this problem to sight or smell, I believe that the true mechanism is a particular type of electromagnetic wave that our "negative" thoughts cause our bodies to emit. In numerous situations, I have found that others cough in my presence even when they do not see me, do not hear me, do not smell me, and of course do not touch me. Currently I live on the fourth floor, and often hear people cough in the courtyard at the very moment that my mind is disturbed. This type of communication does not happen at all through the normal senses, and thus has to rely on some kind of electromagnetic waves emitted by our vastly complex neural system.

The direct solution to this problem, though difficult, is to adjust our neural system to resemble neurotypicals, namely to eradicate negative thoughts etc. This is of course easier said than done, but whenever I gathered the strength to return to the "normal" state of mind, the coughing problem is gone and communication with others gets much smoother. In those situations when I could not reach this state due to fatigue etc, I usually remind myself that this problem does not cause others nearly as much pain as it causes us, and thus try my best to still maintain a peaceful mind. Recently I have relied extensively on noise cancelling earphones to block out the unpleasant sounds others make around me, especially when I need to sleep or read during my travels.

Looking ahead, it should be invaluable for researchers to measure and classify the electromagnetic waves emitted by our neural system, so that the particular "unpleasant" wave pattern causing people to cough may be identified. There should also exist "pleasant" wave patterns that may be harnessed for the happiness of mankind. Though it may be difficult to change how the neural system generates or processes these wave patterns, their measurement may not be too hard.

This problem is so relevant to our daily lives, but unfortunately the research community has not realized its importance. As a researcher myself, I hope to keep searching for an answer to this problem, but my expertise is not in this field. Nonetheless, I believe that as a community, we will be able to raise public awareness of this problem, possibly as a piece of a much larger puzzle, and contribute towards eventually finding a scientific solution.



RegisteringtopostSUCKS
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19 Sep 2016, 8:56 pm

This post is a breath of fresh air. It's so nice to speak the truth about this without all the allusions to and insinuations of " oh that's preposterous, it's a cough- you're being paranoid"

Bullcrap. The simple fact that it IS obvious that it's a fake ass "cough" makes those retorts false and offensive.

This isn't paranoia. And it is very obvious it has something to do with those of us who recognize the big lie.

I am not sure WHAT these noisemakers are doing (or why) but it very obviously is on purpose. Conspiracy?

If it's not THAT then the possibility that these "fake coughers or throat clearers" are audibly answering the voices in their skulls.

The thing is, this "cough" is always done without the covering of ones mouth. Reason being the fake cough cannot be heard when one covers their cough as the CDC mandates.

So if these rotten individuals are using the fact that "civilized" people don't criticize people with medical issues (as a cover for this rotten behaviour of fake coughing) then I say this;

"Common decency and hygeine dictate that you cover your nasty piehole when you aerosolize your breath and saliva." And, THAT is a fact, whether the coughs are phony passive/aggressive tics or whatever.

I suppose if you were to confront one of these fake coughers and publicly and loudly (but VERY politely) state that you weren't "trying to be insensitive to their 'plight', but you didn't want to inadvertently infect someone innocent as a result of their (the cougher's) inability/failure to keep their germs to themselves"-
well, there's not much they could say.
Truthfully, the day may come where this is a prosecutable offence. As disease control was the basis of the old "don't spit on the sidewalk" blue law, the same may still happen in the near future- for the same reason.

And finally to those perpertrating the fake coughs/exagerrated throat clears:
Be careful of what you do, it may be done to you- and worse so.



Spiderpig
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20 Sep 2016, 1:42 am

RegisteringtopostSUCKS wrote:
Bullcrap. The simple fact that it IS obvious that it's a fake ass "cough" makes those retorts false and offensive.


But remember most people don't give a crap what is obvious—they believe, or publicly profess to, what their social instincts tell them it's in their best interest to, evidence and logic be damned. Therefore, bullies can count on that kind of reäction.

RegisteringtopostSUCKS wrote:
If it's not THAT then the possibility that these "fake coughers or throat clearers" are audibly answering the voices in their skulls.


They're listening to their good ol' instinct telling them, "weak individual spotted—make sure to throw 'em out of your tribe and to pwn 'em for the sake of your own status".

RegisteringtopostSUCKS wrote:
So if these rotten individuals are using the fact that "civilized" people don't criticize people with medical issues (as a cover for this rotten behaviour of fake coughing)


They're hoping you won't dare to break that social rule and using the fact that the audience will essentially unanimously side against you, judging you to be the crazy one, if you do.

RegisteringtopostSUCKS wrote:
"Common decency and hygeine dictate that you cover your nasty piehole when you aerosolize your breath and saliva." And, THAT is a fact, whether the coughs are phony passive/aggressive tics or whatever.


Noöne would even listen to that whole sentence. They'd interrupt you before you managed to utter the third word and give you some quick reply or other that would make you look like a complete idiot. They know what they're doing.

RegisteringtopostSUCKS wrote:
I suppose if you were to confront one of these fake coughers and publicly and loudly (but VERY politely) state that you weren't "trying to be insensitive to their 'plight', but you didn't want to inadvertently infect someone innocent as a result of their (the cougher's) inability/failure to keep their germs to themselves"-
well, there's not much they could say.


Of course there is. First off, they wouldn't allow you the luxury of actually making your point, as stated. Second, they always have the fully general reply you yourself quoted:

RegisteringtopostSUCKS wrote:
" oh that's preposterous, it's a cough- you're being paranoid"


Third, remember they can reply with their fists, or by spitting into your face.

It's tempting for us autistics to believe reason should always win in the end, but the neurotypical mind has plenty of resources, perfected through millions of years of evolution by natural selection, to make sure this isn't the case.


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SaveFerris
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20 Sep 2016, 7:36 am

A very interesting read and a subject I can relate too.

Coughing is definately used as a code. It is usually used as a social cue and sometimes with body language to indicate the reason. I cant remember it ever being used to be unfriendly, it's usually used to indicate a social faux par or as a friendly warning.

e.g. Two people A & B are in a room and are talking about person C's personal life who is not present. Person C then enters the room but is only seen by person A , if person B does not see person C and carries on talking about person C it may be seen as rude , bitching , nasty etc. So person A can alert person B to persons C presence with a slight cough and prehaps a quick glance of the eyes in person C's direction.

e.g. People A , B & C are talking. Person C has just lost broken up with their girlfriend and is very unhappy & upset. Person A knows how upset person C is but person B does not. Person B then starts talking about how wonderful his girlfriend is which may be seen as being insestive towards C's feelings. Person A can alert person B to change the subject with a slight cough and prehaps a quick glance of the eyes in person C's direction.

So now you know people can cough as a secret code.

A lot of what I've read so far doesn't seem to fit this category but sounds a lot like some sort of "Ideas Of Reference".

I had a few breakdowns in the past and they have put me in a very depressed & anxious state which also makes me hypervigilant and overthink things.
It is at these points in my life where coughing has caused me serious distress , every cough I heard made me instantly think it was a code but my rational mind told me it wasn't.
If you get enough coincidences in a short space of time it takes longer for you rational mind to calm you down.

Sometimes people cough when they're nervous.

I hope by sharing this it helps someone realize that most of the time a cough is just a cough and doesn't relate to you.


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twinkiethefatcat
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06 May 2017, 7:49 pm

kaj wrote:
kitchy21 wrote:
Have you guys ever experienced this?


Yes. They cough, sniff, clear throats or make other idiotic, unnecessary sounds. It doesn't matter if they see me or not. It doesn't matter if I'm in a different room or on a different floor. They will still cough because of my presence around the place. There is no doubt about it.
The more I think about it the more they do it. Problem is I can't not think about it. It also happens when I'm feeling something (like: sadness, happiness, fear, anger). I guess it's impossible to stop myself from having emotions, is it?


I have been experiencing this same exact thing for quite some time as well. For me, the different annoying sounds people make correspond to different sensations I have. When i have a stomach ache, people make loud grunting noises. When my throat is dry, people talk in an annoying raspy voice and cough. When i am just generally nervous, poeple sniff/breathe in loudly. also when the muscles around my nose tense up, everyone i see around me has flared nostrils. When i think about not wanting to make eye contact with someone, they open their eyes wide and stare at me strangely.
In the past, the sounds people made was an immense source of terror, stress, and anxiety for me, but it's gotten better now that i'm on antidepressants. I even had a breakdown in front of my parents once because we were at a party and everyone in the room was coughing constantly for like 20 minutes. i ran into another room and cried, and when they found me they literally pretended that my tears were nonexistent even though they saw them. the party guests did the same. I don't think this is normal.

Its gotten to the point that i can control which type of behavior people around me perform. It's not their choice which thing they do either, I can tell that I'm controlling it because I have those sensations intensify at times, and when they do, so does the severity of the action. like for example, when i have a mild stomach ache, people just generally seem cautious around me, but when I focus on it, the feeling intensifies, and people start clearing their throats and grunting. This has come to a point where I can't shake the feeling that I want to murder every last person in the the room I occupy due to their obnoxious behavior.

in the past the source of my depression was the beleif that everyone who ever met me wanted me to die. This was caused by the coughing and throat clearing. I beleived that if I killed myself, everyone would be glad. I even wrote a suicide note explaining how I wanted both my parents to die a slow painful death, for mistreating me so much.



slw1990
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07 May 2017, 1:19 am

I get this too. A lot of people clear their throats and make smacking noises when I'm around.



pseuphoric
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05 Aug 2017, 1:29 pm

kitchy21 wrote:
I'd describe myself as introverted albeit friendly, one of the things I notice is people cough or itch when they detect my presence.
Have you guys ever experienced this? It feels like hostility.. and I tell my parents and they tell me it's OCD and paranoia. I'm 100% sure, though, people are coughing when they see me. I don't know how someone would be able to hallucinate this! (and i'm not otherwise psychotic or schizophrenic!)


Hey, this happens to me too. Please contact me at 646-637-8323 or [email protected], would love to connect for support regarding this issue.
-Josh



B19
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06 Aug 2017, 9:26 am

pseuphoric wrote:
kitchy21 wrote:
I'd describe myself as introverted albeit friendly, one of the things I notice is people cough or itch when they detect my presence.
Have you guys ever experienced this? It feels like hostility.. and I tell my parents and they tell me it's OCD and paranoia. I'm 100% sure, though, people are coughing when they see me. I don't know how someone would be able to hallucinate this! (and i'm not otherwise psychotic or schizophrenic!)


Hey, this happens to me too. Please contact me at 646-637-8323 or [email protected], would love to connect for support regarding this issue.
-Josh


Unfortunately, you are replying to a post made in 2011 to a member who stopped visiting in that year. I suggest you refrain from inviting contact from members via your phone number or email address as a brand new member, as this is what spammers sometimes do. You can send a private message via the website inviting a member to respond to a private message, though you need to establish a presence here over time first, so that members get a sense of who you are and whether they want to discuss issues with you. It's best to establish that presence before using the PM system though, otherwise probably no-one will reply, in case you are a spammer fishing for business and so on. Now that you have arrived on WP, spend some time getting to know the forums and the membership by reading threads and getting a feel for the forums as a whole.



eaglefirewater
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30 Oct 2019, 7:34 pm

I get the shock too.

I walk into a building and two people darted in my direction and both coughed piratically at the same time.

Then my body got this shock and started to tremble. It makes me angry and kidna disheartening.

The reality is they are losers and live sorry lives. People who attack others are threatened, or else why would they attack in the first place.

I stand my ground and I usually have an opportunity to let them feel my presence and my "Test me MoFo attitude."

They ain't on my level! and haters gonna hate.



eaglefirewater
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30 Oct 2019, 7:50 pm

IT DOES TRIP ME OUT THAT I GET A JOLT IN MY NERVOUS SYSTEM WHEN PEOPLE COUGH OR CLEAR THEIR THROAT AT ME. Does this happen to anyone else?

It is like a punch to the face without the actual punch.

So people can go around "punching" people energetically (vibes).

Can anyone relate and explain?



JohnTB
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24 May 2020, 11:22 am

Hi, I also registered only becasue of this topic.

It happens to me too, for a long time now. It has nothing to do with smoking or smelling. I don't smoke and I take showers everyday. When it started I actually thought the problem was smelling, so I took several showers per day. Not only coughing or clearing the throat, but also yawning or touching the nose or mouth. Everybody does it: strangers, coworkers, family and friends. Unfortunately, I am now convinced it has something to do as a reaction to my thoughts. The coughing happens when I have a prticular strong thought or an inconvenient one. I now believe that people perceive my thoughts, some are aware of that and others maybe only at a subconscious level.

Have you noticed some connection between the coughing and your mental state?