Can someone whos diagnosed with AS verbalize ther inability

Post Reply New Topic

Can someone whos diagnosed with AS verbalize their inability to socialize or their difficulties?

I want to see if I am similar

I've greatly improved in the eye contact area, but I'm still struggling with overall body language, posture, and "reading between the lines".

Really, I have three primary difficulties:

1 - knowing what to say, and how to say it.

2 - knowing what to do with my arms and hands during a conversation.

3 - making the right amount of eye contact.

Difficulty 1's primary cause is not being able to think and react fast enough. The second and third are almost a whole different problem, but I believe may be somewhat related. I often appear to be nervous, and, obviously, awkward. It gets worse the more I think about it, which is why, in an interesting conversation, I can communicate much more naturally. These symptoms seem to be getting worse as a function of time, and could quite possibly be more due to anxiety than anything. I've always had issues knowing what to say in a conversation, and I don't believe that will ever change.

While I suck at interpreting body language, I take things literally, and I get tired after periods of intense socialization, these problems are minute in comparison.

It could all be because of social anxiety. That has to be ruled out first. This is how I've done that.

Social anxiety is VERY uncommon among children. I've been "shy" ever since I've been able to speak.

Social anxiety does not include (and is not caused by) executive function impairments. For me, I appear to be shy because I cannot think quickly enough to formulate a response in time. My brain is tries to process too much information, and it can't keep up in many social situations. Social anxiety is not caused by this, but by fear; typically fear of embarrassment taken to the extreme.

I've known a few people who might have SAD. I am nothing like them. Most people with SAD tend to be able to communicate just fine in a 1 on 1 conversation, but struggle with things like public speaking. I am the opposite. I can get up in front of 100 people and make a speech, and in many cases, I'm actually better at it than most people. For me, if I know what I'm going to say, I have no problem saying it. It's the unexpected, "hi, how are you?" that gives me chills down my spine.

And the last thing, the repetitive stuff. Social anxiety does not include a need for routines. It does not include stimming. It does not include emotional attachments to inanimate objects. It does not explain why I've had such intense interests throughout my life that brought me happiness. It does not explain why I have an excellent rote memory. It does not explain why I have a unique way of solving problems.

Maybe this is the best way I can put it. I do not fit in and have friends because I have social anxiety. I do have mild social anxiety, but that is because I'm a teenager, and I don't fit in. It really sucks to be that weird kid in high school. If I didn't have the symptoms of AS, I wouldn't be any bit of social anxiety whatsoever.

It varies for me depending on my stress levels. If I'm completely sensory overwhelmed you can forget about me saying anything coherent.

I can do greetings but get stuck on what to say next. I'll fish around for words in my mind and grab whatever I can. I don't always remember to do eye contact but when I do I realise why I don't like to do it. I would rather stare at the corona of the Sun and therefore go blind so I wouldn't have to make eye contact ever again.

What really gets me stuck is when someone asks me something that catches me off guard, which is practically happening every time I come into contact with someone.

Tiredness really affects my social ability too. I will stammer, stutter, stumble physically and say things that I know I shouldn't say but my inhibitions are just as tired and overworked as I am. Holding things seems to throw me off balance too. If you excuse the pun.

Other than that sometimes I feel like screaming at people 'I REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION!'
I just laugh quietly about the unimportant conversations people have. Seriously, they can talk about just one simple uninteresting subject for an hour. And not with the usual amount of factual information I like.

Usually I just say whatever is on my mind. Usually my sci-fi story or some air force plane I'm currently obsessed over. People have to learn to deal with it because it's either I talk about this or I'll just stay silent. I once invited a house mate into my room and this guy was a chattty hyperactive man. I told him all about the posters on my wall, my astronomy kit, my drawings, my sci-fi story and he interrupted to say, 'OK, I'm going now.'

Yeah, people are saying similar things, and the same is true of me. As for that indicating that you have AS? Not quite. With me, I also think differently, am more likely to be literal, may get nervous and even come close to being non verbal, though I can generally speak fine. Being near non verbal is relatively rare, but it has happened. I tend to kind of lose it when I get very nervous. Things like being crowded can make me nervous. My senses are kind of skewed. The mosquito test, for example, says that my range of hearing is better than an NT HALF my age. I beat all my early milestones. I had interests that surpassed everything else.