baby refuses to settle for aspie father...help!

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

taiga
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 1

14 May 2011, 2:49 am

my partner is a high functioning diagnosed aspie. we have a 6 1/2 week old daughter. She would go to him and settle just fine up until the three week mark. now however she screams if he holds her without me in the room, is noticibly upset when he enters an area of about 3 metres around her or if he attempts to make eye contact with her. (he has good eye contact normally)i can pass her to him asleep and witin a minute she will wake up. she will occasionally let him hold her but if he makes eye contact she cracks it.

we have gone to doctors and the health nurse even asked a midwife but they all hgad know idea. even saying they had never seen anything like it before.
we think it may have something to do with his aspergers. specifically his body language/ cues.

if anyone has experienced this or similiar or has any ideas please. he is getting really upset by this.



TB
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 531
Location: netherlands

14 May 2011, 6:58 am

No idea, but you can be assured that this extreme behaviour will go away when she gets older. But the effects of not forming a close bond with parents as a baby continues into the bond with the parent later on. So its a serious problem and I wish you the best.



wavefreak58
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,419
Location: Western New York

14 May 2011, 8:37 am

Babies are funny little creatures. It may very likely go away as quickly as it appeared.


_________________
When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

14 May 2011, 1:15 pm

Could it be separation anxiety? Or maybe she is mamma's girl. My baby has had stages where he was daddy's boy and then mamma's boy but he never acted like your daughter. But when I returned to work, he was bad for his dad because he keep screaming and screaming and refuse the bottle and be starving by the time I got home. But now it's better and he does good for him.



gbollard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,009
Location: Sydney, Australia

14 May 2011, 7:04 pm

It's likely to be one of two things;

- Separation Anxiety
- Sensory Issues


Separation Anxiety
You need to consider leaving her alone with her father more often. Perhaps leave them alone in the house both sitting on the floor. Eventually she'll probably come to him. Certainly if you keep "rescuing" her, you're only increasing the anxiety. If you're breast feeding, consider expressing and allowing him to bottle feed. Some babies react to the absence of the smell of milk.

Sensory Issues
It could also be sensory related. If you haven't already, please have a look at Chynna T Laird's books. In particular, "Not just Spirited" talks about her sensory daughter's issues with her husband. I did a book review on it here.

Consider how your husband may seem different to you. Does he wear aftershave? The aftershave smell could be a factor?