Is possible that someone in the spectrum can be mistaken...

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for arrogant people in online forums because of their way of talk?
To me, this is happened twice (even if with the same person)
Another person has explained me that she think is for my way of talk (somethimes i explain in detailed way how to do things), that doesn't belong to an arrogant person, but some people can mistake my way of talk for an arrogant way of talk.

Someone once told me I was being in-your-face and controlling of the subject.

I feel directly adressed by this post.

It takes me an eternity to judge somebody as anything, while Im used to be estimated all over the place and therefore I cant even trust WP. And again, I see that Im using the wrong language, but I feel that languages are just too simple because the words are predefined, and I often have a slightly different perception of their meanings than what I can put down. My native language is besides norwegian. Anyway everybody seems like this and that, so its an interesting post, because its exactly what Im dealing with.

You just described my presence on the Internet from 1993-2007.

Generally:

* People thought I was arrogant and rude
* People thought I was flaming them when I was trying to disagree
* People who liked me liked how blunt and to the point I was, as well as how thoroughly I'd provide information to support my opinion.

I am not saying that it doesn't still happen, I have just had a better idea of how to not come across that way since 2007. Not that I always succeed at it.

I notice that on internet forums. Just disagreeing with someone can be mistaken for flaming but I don't see it that way.

I'm sure that there are plenty of people who see me as arrogant. Unfortunately, they seldom try to get to know me well. Which in turn makes them arrogant too, since they assume too much!

Yeah, I noticed it happened all the time to me, but I didn't see it happen with most other people.

One of the prompts for it was that I would say someone's argument was stupid. I thought that referring to the argument and not the person would take the sting out, but I was clearly mistaken.

reply to this post as you would have in 2007.

I can't quite manage it because there's not any substance to respond to, but it was like:

* Blunt statement that your assertion is stupid and wrong, that everyone is entitled to an opinion but everyone is not entitled to be right, followed by 2-3 citations with relevant quotes and explanations of how they demolish your argument.

* As the discussion continues, reference to logical fallacies to describe attempts to defend a fallacious argument.

* Respond to any assertions that "it's just my opinion" with "that doesn't mean it is factually accurate."

I forget right now what other fun things I did. It got better over time, though. I tended to be explicit about my opinions of the people I was arguing with.

Also, I remember one time a writer died, and one of his friends posted about it, and I said, "Yes, well, he still wrote terrible books." It was only the truth, but in retrospect, I realized that it was also irrelevant.

In one particular blast of irony, I once came out and asked this guy who annoyed the heck out of me if he was autistic, because he wasn't showing any social skills. That was years and years and years ago, though. No later than 2002 or 2003?

I should go look around old fora and newsgroups and see if I can find some examples.

You would have loved me on a political forum I used to to frequent, token communist.

by Fora do you mean the high brow video/lectures site? I love that one, but they post a lot of BS propaganda stuff, I suppose they post anything that filled a lecture hall.

Oh? What did you do?



fora = plural for forum. I've been on many of them.

I have been seen as arrogant by a few people but I move on. One of them was about people who use autism as an excuse but once that person realized I was talking about the ones who use it as a cop out and don't want to do anything is what I was sick of he told me he thought I was arrogant.


I can't remember what that other time was.


I have also been told I speak my mind, trying to start a drama, trying to provoke people, say what's on my mind, making fun of someone, troll, fake, rude, and blunt.


But from what I have noticed at Babycenter, it looks like NTs have misunderstandings all the time online too. They even sometimes make posts about what happened with them at other groups or on Facebook because they ask about if they did anything wrong and if we see anything wrong with what they said.

I also remember the time I made a post here in the Random Discussion about how easy misunderstandings are online. I post a joke on facebook, my dad tells me "You're gross." I was shocked at that comment because it came out of my own father but then I realized he maybe didn't mean it. Knowing him in real life, he says these things all the time and he never sounded upset when he'd say them so I knew he maybe wasn't flaming me. If I didn't know him, I would have thought he was attacking me and couldn't take a joke and probably would have deleted him.

Sometimes I wonder now if misunderstandings and being read wrong online counts. Just imagine going for an autism assessment and the doctor asks you if people think you're this or that, would it count if you get those accusations online? In real life people are less likely to tell you, especially if you don't have much contact with people in real life, you still won't get those real life accusations. Also one of my aspie friends once told me because it's the internet, people don't care if they take your post out of context, they are not going to even try and understand and listen to what your intentions were because they don't care.

I remember here once someone said to a user here "That's stupid" and it got seen as a personal attack. I knew that user was attacking the person's opinion but apparently here it's a personal attack to say that. But I bet things would have been different if she said "That's stupid" and then explained why.

I remember on another forum I used to go to that no longer exists, the admin had a rule about attacks and he said saying things like "You story sucked" is unacceptable because you have to say why it sucked or else that post will be deleted.

And honestly I think saying "That's stupid" is a weak argument because you have to say why it's stupid or it's a weak argument.

1) I certainly didn't use online misunderstandings to explain why I thought I was autistic when I got my diagnosis, so I have no idea.

2) My observations and anecdotes shared online is that a) yes, a lot of non-autistic people do experience this too, and b) that it seems like autistic people do actually tend to catch a lot more trouble than NTs for various reasons. This topic seems to come up fairly frequently, and I've seen these things play out in various online communities over the years (not just with regards to me, but other people I knew were also autistic).

3) I know that the core of a lot of my problems online tends to be a) I take someone else literally and miss subtext, and b) someone else reads subtext into what I write when I wrote literally what I meant. I don't think these things are deliberate, but they cause friction.



I didn't say, "that's stupid." I said "Your argument is stupid and wrong, and here is my exhaustive argument as to why. Additionally, here are multiple citations to support my argument."

People just take having their ideas called "stupid" personally, even if it's the truth. So I try to avoid it and find other ways to say it, if I want them to listen to me, anyway.

One thing about my online interactions is that I didn't know I was autistic or even different from other people when they happened, so I had no way to place them into any context until recently.

And I think I am tired of the medium being blamed for miscommunications. It's not as if anyone ever blames the medium for effective communication. Since I have participated in both miscommunications and effective communication online, I think it primarily comes down to the human element, whether autistic or not.

I don't think I ever tried to blame the internet for my miscommunications, I try to own them. It strikes me blaming the internet is about as useful as blaming autism.

Every topic involving me would eventually be turned to something I cared about.

In another forum in assisted in starting a coup with replaced the old admins with a democratic council of forum regulars and peers. drama

On a practical note, I see that English is not your native language. Do you get different reactions when you post in Italian as opposed to English? It might be partly a language thing.

I've been accused of bullying when it was never my intention. I'm just too precise and literal and it gets misinterpreted.