"I have Asperger's" is no excuse.

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If someone said that to me I would say "OK, I understand, I have Asperger's as well, but it would be nice if you tried your best to be polite, I know it's hard". I wouldn't say "f*** yourself" like you thing you should. Saying "F yourself" would be rude, just like they are being. You wouldn't be setting a good example.

And as others have said, aspies are not usually intentionally rude.

Last edited by ocdgirl123 on 27 May 2011, 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That is what they are supost to do, I got to a special ed school. Adult special school at that.

What happened to the OP? 5 pages of responses and not a peep from him. Are we being played?

Irrelevant! The posters original reasons are irrelevent when good coversation breaks out despite them.

I still have trouble with eye contact. I stare too much. People believe...or I perceive people to believe that I'm... what's the word? My head isn't working right right now...the sexual stare look... (I guess I have dysnomia...) Yeah well... woman have a tendency to think I'm staring at them sexually. So I stopped staring at them. They still have a tendency to think that. I don't understand it. I think it has something to do with avoiding eye contact. Now I make a point to only watch men. (My version of social interaction is watching other people interact...) I let it slip in my 12-step group that my sister was a homosexual. They're eyeing me now. I can tell they think I'm gay (which isn't that far from the truth but that's besides the point...) They think I'm staring at them sexually too...

Of course my head might just be doing weird things right now and all this is paranoia... But I feel like this all the time. I don't see any alternative other than saying, "I'm autistic." And if they accept it great. If not I'll just have to keep going, Well the only other alternative I see you don't want to hear...

Am I the only one who thinks the term "High Functioning" in HFA is a cruel joke? Although to be honest, my therapist never used "high-functioning." He hesitated a moment and said, "mid-functioning." Maybe I'm expecting too much...

Ignorance was bliss. It was soo much better when I was oblivious...

He probably left town for the holiday

Well, Seph, I'm high-functioning so I don't really consider it a joke. Both my son and I have been classified as "very high functioning"... which... again... I cannot wait for the new DSM so all this "low/mid/high/very high" crap stops. It's very convoluted and confusing. None of these terms have absolute meaning. That will change.

Have you tried looking in a mirror and practicing different looks? If you spend the time practicing facial expressions and attempting to make your eyes look differently when they're looking at someone, you might be able to start controlling how you look at others. Watch how an actor looks at someone in a movie... how he looks, then looks away, then looks back and then looks away again. Decipher the pattern and then use it again in the mirror. Keep practicing until you think you can duplicate it without looking in the mirror.

The 12-step group being what it is, you might want to say that you're autistic and explain the trouble that you have with people misunderstanding you, even just from looking at people. Explain that you're trying a mirror trick that some crazy woman on the internet suggested and ask for their help and ideas on how to do things differently. You might get some good advice. If you can context it to say that your autism isn't a big thing, it's some little things that just make you different enough to make people exclude you, they might understand you better. I say this because this is a 12-step group. The rules about support, understanding and discretion could provide the security you'd need that others just wouldn't have in different situations.

I'm constantly tip toeing on eggshells because of my impulsive tongue says something that is taken the wrong way. But when I do apolgise for it people think I was being serious.
Then I get in such a state of mind that I do say things that are rude but it's kind of like a trance state of hyperactivity. It's like I don't take anything serious and just want to have fun and say things without thinking them through. It's a type of mental burnout too. I think it more of an ADHD/ODD thing though and it does become tiring when it happens.

This sounds familiar to me, although when I do whatever I do that this reminds me of, I tend to sound really mean if taken seriously. Fortunately, people who know me don't usually, but I realize what comes out of my mouth and wonder just where it came from.

Sometimes I will say things and it just comes right out as if it was a tic. I say it without thinking and right away i realize "oops" and it's embarrassing. But I move on quickly when no one is upset by it. I still say sorry if I knew it was rude like if I call someone fat. I used to have these slip ups all the time as a kid but occupational therapy helped. Now I do it a lot less.

Sometimes I tick off people but usually I make them laugh. It has to do with my obsessions. I'm usually the quietest person but sometimes I can over-talk about it or try to dominate the conversation and I can't stop myself and keep on going and going like the "Duracell Bunny". What's worse is I repeat myself many times (because I get excited) and/or I kind of forget that I already said it or I just get stuck or I talk too fast (and loud) to make up for the little talking I usually do. It annoys some people. But 90% of the time I do the least talking.

Last edited by Kon on 27 May 2011, 11:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Yeah. I've done this. I never had any therapy to not do it, but over time I've cut down. I still do it every now and then, but I am significantly less likely to, say, reveal something humiliating about someone right in front of them. Which has happened.

Probably reasonable to have learned something by 41...

I do those things too. I am happy I make people laugh. Better than upsetting them.

I just don't concern myself with it.

If someone thinks I'm rude, that's fine with me. I don't need to weight my worth or personal value on the perceptions of others.

I very, very rarely appologize for anything. And never make excuses.

If I'm a jerk, that's A OK with me.

Has nothing to do with Aspergers.

Has everything to do with a self generated sense of self worth and complete disregard of outward opinions of self.

Doesn't your own opinion of yourself get depreciated when you believe you've been a jerk? I mean you must have some ideal that allows you to measure yourself against? I'm guessing being a jerk isn't that ideal. So when you are a jerk doesn't your self-worth go down because you have gone further away from your ideal? Just trying to understand.

The thing is, everyone has moments when they are a jerk. It's not like it's exclusive to those with an ASD. I run into jerks day and night.
Sometimes you have to be a jerk just to keep people from running over you!
I don't try to be an intentional jerk and it pisses me off when others are jerks but at the end of the day, I realize it's part of life. Everyone, including me, is going to be a jerk from time to time, intentional or not. Sometimes you got to let these things go and not let them get to you even though I get annoyed myself. I admit to being too sensitive from time to time.
Still, I wish I could wave a magic wand and take all jerkiness out of the human race, myself included because it gets on my nerves as much as it does anyone.