NT or AS - how much time can you spend with someone?

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I guess this can be for anyone, but I know that people on the spectrum and people not on the spectrum will have different abilities to spend time with someone.

Please tell me if you're NT when you answer this. I have a friend and I want to know how much time you can spend with one person without feeling like you're sick of that person. We hung out yesterday when she helped me do something hard (rehome my cat), and we're hanging out next weekend, and I asked her if she wanted to see a movie this week.

That's not too much for me, because I spent pretty much every other time alone, but I'm worried that she'll get sick of me. I have no idea how a normal friendship is supposed to go. I should trust her to tell me if she didn't want to hang out with me - I know she would tell me if she felt that way, but I can't help worrying. I mean, I just spent all day yesterday with her, and I'm lonely today. And unfortunately, I don't have many friends to spread out who I'm spending time with.

So how much time can you spend with a friend before you get sick of spending time with that friend?

I'm an Aspie:

This is a very good question, I myself never know how much time spent together per week or month is considered "normal". With me it depends highly on whom I spent the time with, my family start to annoy me after about 5 minutes but I can spend up to half a week with my friends. I'd love to hear from NTs what they consider "normal" here as well, but also in what situations, (like, relation: yes/no, how long you know each other etc.).

I am aspie. Like the person above me said, it depends on the person.

I could probably spent days with my two closest friends. I am forced to spent time with my parents and that works out fine. However, there this girl at my school, that I can't even spend a second with.

This would have made a very good poll.

Aspie here and I have a social tolerance limit of about 2 hours depending on the degree to which they are overbearing, number of people present, noise, confusion and a host of other factors. When my mom starts in on me and becomes really aggressive as she often does, she can send me into shutdown in under a half hour and I really need to spend time alone to recover. I've told her that when she hears me go silent, she has gone too far, but it never does seem to register with her NT mind.

On the other hand, I know of one Aspie whose limit is more on the order of 5 or 6 seconds before he takes off in the other direction. I have actually seen him surveying the path ahead of him before and alter his path so as to avoid people as completely as possible.

After a day I want to kill them.

I could spend 30 minutes with my family, many hours with my friends and four hours with my coworkers.

I'm probably an Aspie. I'd also say it depends on the person, and the way he or she treats me. I remember I've spent a lot of time together with my ex-girlfriend, usually more than half of a week, and there were periods in which I was really strained, I paced around, was seemingly nervous, even yelled at her. I guess I missed my alone-time, my accustomed activities, and a little better treatment... I wouldn't spend more time with my parents and my sister too. I wouldn't tolerate my friends for more time either, or else I would feel we are getting on each other's nerves.

I'm AS, by the way.

I'm almost certainly on the autistic spectrum (in process of diagnosis).

To me it's not about how long I can spend with them, but about how long I can interact with them. So I have some friends, for instance, that I love to go stay with. I can stay with them for a couple of weeks, but they are quiet people and let me do my own thing so my actual interaction time with them tends to be a couple of hours at a time max ... after that I need a break to recharge.

I have spent 7 hours on a train with a friend previously. The interaction there was probably about 1 hour total over the course of the journey - the rest of the time I was plugged into my iPhone listening to my music or an audio book, or "pretending" to sleep to keep interaction within my limits (necessary because obviously on a train there is no escape if I get overloaded).

I obviously spend a lot of time with my husband. A lot of the time we just spend quietly together, not particularly interacting but sharing space and I enjoy that with him. But I often get irritable with him for no apparent reason - then I'll disappear off to the cinema by myself or something to give myself space, or to my quiet room (my space, not shared).

At work ... I spend 7 hours a day, 2 days a week with my co-workers (the third day I am in the office alone). It is very difficult, especially because one of them talks all the flipping time. I have headphones and a "do not disturb" sign which I use in the office, and when that doesn't work I also take regular walks ... they probably think I have a bladder or bowel problem them amount of times I go to the toilets and the length of time each trip takes!

Looking at that, in answer to your question, it's probably about 2 hours max - with anyone.

1 hr 30 minutes for anyone other then my mother or animals.

I guess I'm just wondering if this person will get sick of me if I spent maybe 8 hours with her yesterday, will spend some time with her on Tuesday, and then again the next weekend - but from reading others' responses it seems like it should be fine since there is lots of downtime in between? I mean, it's not like I'm asking to spend every day. I don't know what the social rules are for how long you can spend with a person before you should back off and give them their space.

That said, lately I have been lonely enough to wish I could spend every day with someone. Although I think if I actually did, I would be needing my alone time a lot more.

I'm just wondering how it is for NTs, how much time they usually spend with other people, though I'm glad to hear the input of people on the spectrum as well.

I am NT

It depends entirely on the friend. Some friends I can only spend a few hours with. Some friends I can spend several days with. You won't be able to gauge her limit by comparing it to my limit (which varies from one friend to the next, anyway) because it is so different for everyone.

Typically people will give each other little hints about how much time is the right amount. It's pretty unlikely that she will say "I don't want to hang out with you today because I did yesterday and that's enough until next week". Instead she will be oblique and say she can't hang out with you today because she has a lot of stuff to do. Please don't get angry with her and call her a liar when you discover that "lots of stuff to do" meant watching TV and going grocery shopping. I know this obliqueness infuriates Aspies but NTs consider it rude to literally tell you that they have reached their personal time limit.

AS

I don't know barely anyone.
For family, I find it a struggle to spend more than a few hours, as they do not really understand me all that well, I feel, and I have such different interests and such a different way of being, so uncomfortable silences, or arguments tend to occur after too long.

With my friend, however, we have spent 12 hour days together, and certainly see one another every day, usually for 6 hours each evening. At times, I find it difficult if I want silence, and they want to talk on about a specific topic, and they seem to need days to themselves fairly regularly.

It is very, very rare I come across anyone I can spend more than an hour a day with. I tend to find it stressful, but oddly, at the same time, I get lonely if I speak to no-one for long periods of time.

Diagnosed AS.

One on one, I can go an hour or two, especially if we're discussing a special interest. With an interest it can go longer, depending on when the topic gets exhausted.

Add people or remove interests and the time drops. I recently spent time with a friend and could handle maybe 15 minutes of conversation with her before I zoned out because she talked a lot about things I didn't really enjoy. I don't hold this against her, though.

I used to be able to run roleplaying games with about 4-6 people over a few hours, but this was a different kind of interaction. The last time I tried it was with two other people and I felt like I'd been hit by a truck afterward.

Autistic.

With my one good friend I could probably spend a night with if we are going out to see a band, but if we were just hanging out probably only a couple of hours. The next day after a show I'm desperate to get home.

As for a family gathering just 1-2 hours and if we are having a meal I'd probably want to leave after that. Otherwise I have to take my medication to stop myself from being cranky and might have a few drinks. I'd probably just drink rather than take the pill because the morning after was...arggh horrible.

My Mom would love for me to spend all my time with her, but she tends to get on my nerves if I stay for more than several minutes (or maybe an hour) with her.
I tend to want to stay around my wife, but she gets extremely aggravated with me. She wants a LOT of wiggle- room; I tend to feel more need of her than she does of me.
If she gets angry and goes to cursing I tend to want to put as much space between us as is possible...
I haven't been around other people long enough to really know how long I want to "be there".