Does this man sound like he has Aspergers?

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My relative has been with her boyfriend for about 4 or 5 years and I was wondering if her boyfriend might have Aspergers. I know all men I know have a more selfish striek in them, but this man is to the extreme with selfishness. He has a kind of an interest with wildlife, and spends a lot of time on his computer uploading his pictures of wildlife on his video camera, and he always wears a hunting outfit, even if he's not going out to hunt for wildlife. (I know neurotypicals are entitled to have interests and doesn't make them aspies, but he actually gets lost in his interests and when something important happens, his interests still matter, and don't care about anyone else).

But when my relative went on a holiday with a few others (her boyfriend stayed at home), she came back and he didn't ask her if she had a nice time and he wasn't interested in her photos. He just started going on about himself and his wildlife watching, the minute they came in the door. I was there, and I didn't think that was quite right because the first thing you do to someone who just got back from a 2-week holiday is greet them and give them all the attention. Even my other relatives think there is not something quite right about him. I wouldn't say he is controling - he is good to his girlfriend, and lets her do what she wants and everything. He even paid for her to go on this holiday what she always wanted to go on.

Also he cannot stand other people in his house. His girlfriend has a teenage son (my cousin), and he doesn't let the poor boy breathe. He tells him to switch his music off even if it's only on quietly. He doesn't allow him there in the day because he likes the house to himself, so when he's not at college he's got to go to friend's houses. I reckon it's cos he can't stand the noise or mess of anybody else. And when relatives come round, he clears off in the other room. I know some men who do this, but added to his other visible traits, I think this may be another Asperger personality trait type thing.

And he complains about people and noise. He hates screaming kids, and he hates crowds. I think he has a lot in common with my autistic brother, and they actually both like eachother (and usually my brother doesn't like anyone outside family, but he really likes my aunt's boyfriend). I just think there are some Asperger traits in her boyfriend, if not there is an odd way about him what even I find odd. I was wondering if he should get diagnosed. It may not be Asperger, but I think he's got something the matter with him, and I suspect it may be Aspergers.

What do you think?

I think you should take care of your own biz and leave that man and also his gf. alone.

Obviously the two get along and even if not, it's their affair, not yours.

I'm not a doctor or any kind of expert. From what you describe it's possible but a long way from certain. The thing about not enquiring about the holiday of his girlfriend is the strongest indicator for me that there may be something in your suspicion. Sensitivity to noise & mess is common but also common in NTs. From what you are describing I'm not getting the 'yes definitely' vibe.

As to whether he should seek diagnosis, I don' know. I looked into this and the National Autistic Society describes adult diagnosis as a mixed blessing, and if the person is managing to hold down a job, is looking after himself and is not in trouble with the authorities a diagnosis may not result in tangible benefits. There would be a gain in self understanding and awareness, the question is, is he actually looking for that?

I'm NT so this is more properly a question for others on WP. I would be interested in others' views on the value of an adult diagnosis.