Want to be alone, but lonely?
I am practically the same way. I have no motivation to seek friendship--to go out with acquaintances and such. I am generally either with family members or alone. And I am almost always off in my own little world. At the same time, I feel like I should feel lonely and that if I do not make friends, I will someday be alone forever. So I do tend to get lonely even though my brain also tells me that I don't want to be with other people.
I'm afraid too that I need to make friends so I won't be alone forever. Im lucky to have a family and brothers and sisters who care for me but they have "normal" lives and mine is certainly not. Although it's normal for me. I'm afraid of making real friends too because I've been hurt so much in the past by kids at school etc. You all probably understand, or have been there, the teasing, bullying, being tricked easily. I'm grown now but still I watch how people are with each other and I mostly want no part of it. Small doses is good you guys are right. People think I am funny and they do pay attention to me a lot because I am different. They see good qualities in me, that I'm honest, full of information, quick witted and "a refreshing change" from most people. They also use me as their human dictionary haha. Wow now im thinking positively. Nice.
LuckyLeft
Sea Gull
Joined: 17 Jul 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 203
Location: Southeast Georgia, United States
however; i figured out the deeper cause of this lonelyness; it's not a lack of social contact, but a deeper lonelyness, the lack of someone to share my deepest feelings with.
even when i'm with friends, i can't really share my true self with them, so i still feel lonely...
Have you tried to talk to maybe one person? Just a small little bit and see how it goes?
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6 year old boy with PDD-NOS
7year old girl with ADD, but has been very manageable
Me: Diagnosed bi-polar, medicated for 20 years now.
I get like this too and then my friends think I'm totally weird because I make no sense.
I also find that, when I DO go and hang out with people-due to loneliness- I only wind up feeling more alone. It's like I realize how much I don't fit in with them and how much I'd rather just go back to my house.
It is hard to be this way
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Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
And when I've had crushes on some people, I did miss them when they weren't around. But I didn't want to be around people in general so much as a specific person. And I didn't really want a relationship, although I was sure I was supposed to want a relationship.
This may be why I usually only seek people out when I have a specific need.
Wow, do I relate to that. I try to explain to people why I have no desire for a long-term relationship and they cannot understand at all. Yet, at the same time, I really long to have a soulmate I can discuss all sorts of deep stuff with.
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Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Verdandi
Veteran
Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)
Yeah, it's nice to have someone you can talk to about really esoteric and deep things.
I was kind of surprised to learn that people really do think not having a relationship is a horrible fate. I can't even imagine what it would be like for that to be one of my major problems.
Then again, it might be advantageous given how much trouble I have on my own, to have that kind of support. But I also know that being around someone that much is extremely stressful for me.
I was kind of surprised to learn that people really do think not having a relationship is a horrible fate. I can't even imagine what it would be like for that to be one of my major problems.
Then again, it might be advantageous given how much trouble I have on my own, to have that kind of support. But I also know that being around someone that much is extremely stressful for me.
I understand completely. I wish I could just have a person around at night while I am sleeping Otherwise, I need my alone time and space.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Found this a while ago- kind of sums up my thoughts.
"Loneliness isn't the same thing for those who are
solitary....Being alone is no problem for us at all.
By ourselves on a mountain, in a great forest, or
out on the sea, we're happiest, for those are
places where we feel at home. It's when we're
surrounded by people who don't understand us
and won't accept that we can't be like them, that
we feel what we call loneliness."
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Depression, GAD, Social Anxiety and unidentified mental health issues too
And now OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED!
Yep I have this problem. I also find that when I am with people I sometimes feel more alone.
Here's a quote that seems rather apt;
"Real lonliness is not necessarily limited to when you are alone" Bukowski.
I think it's because I find it so hard to connect with people; I always feel that there's a pane of glass between me and others and I can't really be myself anyway. Recently I have begun to wonder if I will ever be able to make a mutual connection with someone and if I did would I even be aware of it?
however; i figured out the deeper cause of this lonelyness; it's not a lack of social contact, but a deeper lonelyness, the lack of someone to share my deepest feelings with.
even when i'm with friends, i can't really share my true self with them, so i still feel lonely...
Have you tried to talk to maybe one person? Just a small little bit and see how it goes?
i did, on several occasions.
the only result was that they could not see from my shoes, and thought i was making stuff up (even my psycologist said that the first session), so it only made the feelings worse...