Aspergers: difference or problem?
I think it can be both.
When some see it as only a difference and some see it as inferiority, I am inclined to disagree.
There are MANY Aspergers traits:
1. The Good (ability to think outside the box, high intelligence, among others)
2. The Neutral (having different interests/preferences)
3. The Bad (difficulty socializing, language difficulties).
Fortunately, the bad can be improved upon.
But I think Aspergers shouldn't be seen as black and white, but peice by peice instead.
Autism is not just a different way of looking at things, it is a neurological impairment. That means the lens through which you perceive the world is warped in comparison with what everyone around you sees and experiences. Thus, the term 'Pervasive' Developmental Disorder. Pervasive means it affects every single aspect of who you are, even when you are not aware that it is affecting you. Even when you feel that you're fitting in and performing just as normally as everyone else, you aren't, and the Neurotypical people around you can see it, even if you can't. The times you are most likely to notice how different you are is when you are thrown in with other people and are forced to confront how poorly you function in their arena compared to them, but you're that different ALL THE TIME.
It cannot be taken piece by piece because there is only one piece - YOU - every experience you have ever had or will have; every thought and every idea you will ever entertain is filtered through that funhouse lens. That's why its considered a disability. It needn't be seen as black and white, but it should be recognized for what it is - a set of handicaps. Trust me on this, if you go out into the world thinking you're going to overcome your differences and learn to function normally, you're going to be bitterly disappointed. You might as well decide you're going to defy gravity by sheer force of will. Defy all you want, you still won't fly, even if you could swear you feel lighter.
Does that mean you can't make the best of the cards you were dealt and use them to your advantage? Of course you can, and there are some people who will find the quirks of AS endearing, but that won't necessarily mean they're always advantages. 'Thinking Outside The Box can be very useful in personal problem solving, but here's a word of advice: when a boss at work says he wants people to 'Think Outside the Box' - he's LYING. What he means is "I want creative ideas I can steal and take credit for." Do anything that doesn't fit his or her personal idea of how things ought to be done and you will be fired so fast your head will spin.
Having specialized interests is the trait most easily turned into a strength. If you can find a career within one of those niches, you'll come closer to fitting in there than anywhere in your entire life.
Point is, I don't feel that I am in any way inferior, but I am severely handicapped by the fact that the rest of the world cannot see what I'm seeing nor vice-versa, so we will always have difficulty agreeing on how things actually are, or should be and that's never going to change.
_________________
"Strange, inaccessible worlds exist at our very elbows"
- Howard Phillips Lovecraft
I would say a bit of both. The good can come from, as you said, Heightened intelligence (and in some, observational skills). The bad can be anything from the cocktail of sensory issues to being overwhelmed easily. So in some aspects, its a difference, and in others, its a problem. I agree 100% that its not that black and white, and it needs to be looked at on a case by case basis.
_________________
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
Last edited by PM on 12 Sep 2011, 12:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Verdandi
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Yes, it is a difference or problem
The degree to and frequency of which it is a problem depends on who you are and your situation. If for whatever reason I couldn't have gotten into computers, or engineering, or science, I would probably have a lot of difficulty. As it is, I do have some difficulties on the job, but nothing insurmountable. if I had more severe AS, I would. If I was naturally extroverted and/or more desiring of social interaction with strange new people for the sake of it that I have little to nothing in common with, interest-wise, I might have a lot of difficulty.
This thread really struck a chord with me. As an NT with a spouse who may or may not have AS but who seems to display many AS traits (cocktail of sensory issues, being overwhelmed easily, extreme defensiveness, social impairments, etc etc), I struggle regularly trying to cope with the good and the bad. She's a wonderfully loyal person with an incredibly creative streak. She's extremely determined to do what she wants to do and do it well. We've been married for decades, and we're lucky to have each other. BUT... often we talk right past each other, and there have been countless times when I've felt completely misunderstood and alone. Plus, I've felt extremely put-upon having to accept/ignore the ongoing lack of empathy. When I want/need to express my feelings, often I get dismissed and told that she can't cope with my feelings.
Why bring this up? I wish--it's a fantasy, obviously--that she would address these issues/flaws whatever instead of occasionally acknowledging them and then moving on as if they don't matter, that's just how she is etc etc. Yes, she is wired differently, and that won't change. But isn't it true that people w/AS can moderate some of their traits (if they choose to)? I guess it's very hard to accept that she wouldn't bother to try, and I mean really try with therapy or whatever else is thought to be helpful. Is that too much to ask? Maybe so. Even talking about it, however, is a challenge for all the reasons cited above.
To all who read this post and consider this quandary, thank you. Your feedback is much appreciated.
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