I seem to be more social phobic than aspergic

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I was diagnosed with AS and Dyspraxia, but take a look at the link below and skim-read through the little scenarios. Each and every paragraph describes exactly how I feel about social situations. Could this be co-morbid? I'm so confused, because where does the ASD begin and where does the Social Phobia begin? Or do they overlap eachother? Have I got Social Phobia because I know that the ASD will give myself away? Or have I developed Social Phobia because I've gotten too self-aware yet clueless of how to follow mainstream properly? I'm confused. And I don't feel just mildly Social Phobic. It's actually taking over my life. Does anyone else suffer with this?

http://www.social-anxiety-network.com/examples.html

But I do have AS because I have sensory issues, meltdowns, obsessions, and like to have routine, etc.

I do not relate to many of the scenarios depicted.

People seem to frequently think my issues are related to social phobia when I do not think they are at all. I am much more aware in such situations than I used to be so I am probably at risk for developing it. I now have the notion that I am supposed to be acting a certain way and it makes me uncomfortable because I wonder why everyone around me is so seamless-seeming and I am not sure what to do. It's like my idea of what is natural is disrupted.

I'm probably pretty socially phobic too. I rarely even leave the house. I think today is 11 days since I've gone further than in front of my house.

I've thought about this. Social phobia needn't be part of AS.

"Have I got Social Phobia because I know that the ASD will give myself away?"

This was the conclusion I reached for myself.

I heard social phobia among aspies can be due to a mixture of too much self-awareness, mixed with self-pity, self-consciousness, and self-hatred, not to mention low self-esteem. They say it is best for aspies to be self-aware, but in the long run, if an aspie doesn't have too much self-awareness and is not bothered about what other people think of them, it's actually best for them really. As long as you're happy.

But some aspies can't help being born with a few neurotypical traits that make them aware enough to want to fit in and know what's right and wrong, but yet having difficulties expressing it at the time.

I think for me, the ASD factors like sensory overload make me nervous of my reaction to certain circumstances and it's those reactions I'm most fearful of being judged by other people, or probably more importantly my judgement of the reaction.

The lady who didn't want to be "putting someone out" hit the closest to home for me really. Lack of self esteem on my part I guess.

You can have both. AS is about ability to communicate and neurological, SA is about getting anxious around people. You could have AS and not care, or you could have SA and have great social skills if you can get past it.

I've had SA for a number of years. I think it is related to trying to fit in with people and feeling stupid.

I get afraid to speak up in a group (unless I know the people well and feel comfortable with), because I keep thinking nobody's going to listen, or I'll be interrupted, and I can never find a gap to speak anyway, and I appear quiet at first because I'm not the type to natter away to strangers straight away, however nice they are, and so they get used to me being quiet and so don't bother to include me.

I've just started a new voluntary job at a charity shop, and I've been going in about 6 or 7 times now, but I haven't seemed to got to know anybody yet. I only know some of their names. But now they've got used to me being quiet, they assume that I don't really speak, so I'm afraid to just walk in next time and start yakking to everybody. The most I do is say hello and goodbye politely, or just speak when I'm specifically spoken to, or ask somebody when I want help, and that's it. But the reason why I'm doing this is because I don't want to make the same mistake as I made at the previous charity shop where I was doing voluntary work. I tried to act confident there, and I got people there laughing at me, and I've had a lot of tiffs with some of the bitchy people there, and I'm not the type to have tiffs with people. So I think it's better to be silent - that way I can actually hide my AS more than if I speak a lot. It's true!

I've had pretty bad phone anxiety before as well as anxiety related to asking favors of people. It's significant enough that I almost never ask anyone for anything. If I don't ask, there's no way I can get rejected... as an example. It's all done subconsciously, though. Add that to my desire to do everything "just perfectly" and you have a recipe for procrastination.

I've been told that I probably have social anxiety, though I'm not really sure. I experience some of the symptoms, but I don't feel that I worry excessively about what others think. I wouldn't have an issue giving a speech in front of a crowd. It'd be a bit strange unless I had something to talk about. But I don't think I'd be too worried. Honestly, there are times when I should probably care more about what others are thinking about. Yet, all the same, I'm still very anxious when I need to go out and do something outside my home... and I'll happily avoid social situations when I'm able to.

I dunno. It's really hard to separate AS from Social Anxiety in my opinion.

@Joe90: Is it possible that you've outgrown some of your symptoms of AS, but it's left behind lots of anxiety instead?

The other question I keep wondering about, for myself as well, is if the anxiety didn't cause the AS symptoms in the first place. For example, if you are really scared of people or worried about what they think, you will avoid social contact. If that happens, then you aren't gonna develop social skills like you normally would.

Oh well, I really don't know. Do you still go to see a doctor or psychologist? Perhaps you could ask someone about it?

I have AS but not social phobia, and I don't identify with any of the scenarios.

So, yeah, I would say you probably have good reason to investigate whether in your case you have both. Anxiety disorders suck (I know; I don't have social phobia but I spent about ten years dealing with PTSD)--but the good thing is that they can be treated and go into remission. Unlike AS, which is permanent, social phobia is not wired into your brain and does not represent an essential part of your personality. You may be naturally shy or introverted--those are natural parts of who you are, and yes, they make you more vulnerable to social anxiety--but social phobia is a learned behavior, like all phobias are, and it can be unlearned.

It's quite common for introverts and autistics both to be exhausted by social situations and have to be alone to relax; but to actually be constantly afraid of judgment and social failure isn't part of either autism or introversion. No doubt that it occurs more often among those who are autistic because we are just much more likely to be exposed to the sort of rejection that can serve as the initial trigger for social phobia--we're simply living in an environment that makes us more vulnerable to social phobia.

Regarding social phobia and low social skills--You would expect the more advanced social skills to be most lacking if it is due to phobia, and the more basic ones to be lacking if it is due to autism.

So, for example, the typical autistic person lacks the ability to read body language and facial expression, to multitask listening and looking, to understand figurative language and implied communication, to comprehend speech quickly enough to keep up with a conversation, and/or to use these strategies to communicate themselves. NT children learn these fairly early, usually before the age of two, and some of them before the age of one. Characteristic of an autistic communication style is using these skills consciously and probably having learned them consciously as well.

The more high-level stuff, the things that you learn after the age of five or so, are the things that will probably be issues with social phobia. Social phobia almost never starts before four or five (with the exception of separation anxiety, which is somewhat different), because kids younger than that just don't have that kind of self-consciousness. So, for example, you would expect someone with social phobia to have problems with things like public speaking, being assertive during confrontations, asking someone out on a date, negotiating with someone, impressing someone you have just met, coordinating a group, voicing disagreement, or mediating a dispute.

Not that you can't have both. It's very common indeed for people to have both autism and social phobia. But most people with social phobia are NTs, because it is more common than autism; those with autism/social phobia will still have a lot in common with NTs who have social phobia.

Last edited by Callista on 04 Oct 2011, 11:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It could be social anxiety which is a common comorbid with AS.

For a lot of people, social anxiety can be part of Asperger's. But for some people it can be a seperate diagnosis.I suppose it depends maybe on how bad it is. It is not uncommon for Aspies to have, though.

Is swear that each and every scenario listed was about me. There have been times where I can't force myself to leave the house because I might see someone I know or I might have to talk. When I go shopping I swear people are staring at me, and if a person stands behind me I start to freak out a little because I can't see them. I don't talk on the phone often. Never have, never will. I will actually put off phone calls for weeks because it makes me too nervous. Every time I know I have an appointment, even a vet appointment for my cats, I start getting anxious DAYS before hand, and the night before it is very hard for me to sleep. I have a doctors appointment a week from today and I am already slightly nervous. Most of the time it is common for me to not leave the house for days. Reading those scenarios was like reading my life.

The only scenario I didn't fully relate to was the last one where the guy wanted to go to parties, but couldn't because of his anxiety. I don't see the point of parties, so I don't go.


I was always led to believe that most, if not everybody, with AS had social anxiety, so I'm surprised to hear people say they don't have any.

Every scenario fits me, even the party one. I get envious of all my cousins (who are now old enough to go out to clubs and pubs), and even sometimes get into a jealous rage, and the only reason why I would clench up if I was to go to a party is because I know I will get too anxious there of having to talk to giggling teenage girls who are likely to judge me anyway.


I believe I am an extrovert Aspie, being that I want friends and like having friends (I had chronic depression when I was a child aged between 12 and 15 because of the lack of friends I had).


I'm constantly worrying about what others are thinking of me and judging me on. And I fear social failure a lot, which is why I stay away from social situations, even shopping. I fear crowded places too because I feel people keep looking at me and laughing at me, and I have trouble going out on my own because I'm always afraid I might do something embarrassing, and I fear humiliation. That is why I don't like winter - because when it snows I'm afraid of slipping over on the ice in front of a lot of people and they're going to laugh at me (it's happened before, when I slipped over on a bit of ice and everyone was walking upright and didn't seem to have any trouble with the ice at all, and I think I only slipped over because I had gone all stiff and I felt like people were watching me). This is all typical Social Phobia to me.


I have trouble explained things to people, and the more people are listening, the more my words come out differently, which does not normally happen when around people I'm comfortable with and know well (like relatives and close friends). I have difficulties asking people questions when in a conversation, and I am not domineering at all. I mostly just answer ''yes'' or ''no'' with great expression, and try to slot in a few words when I can.


I don't really like the thought of me being stupider than a baby, but I must say I do read body language pretty well, and also facial expression, tone of voice, and how the other person is feeling. I'm also quick with jokes, but I don't tend to joke myself because other people seem to take my jokes literally, simply because I'm not normally the sort to joke around because I've always been afraid of this. I'm quick to pick up what people explain to me, actually quicker than NTs, which is why I don't ask any questions when people are talking to me. I quickly get a picture in my mind of what they are saying, and I get what they're saying about before they finish.


I have trouble with assertiveness, speaking up in groups, being honest, disagreement, public speaking, asking someone out on a date, shouting across the street to someone, negotiating, impressing people (especially someone I've just met), co-ordinating a group, and mediating a dispute.


It's just strange because I tick less boxes under the AS category than I do under the Social Phobia category.

Heh, no, I didn't mean that autistics are "stupider than a baby", just that we don't pick up some skills that NTs pick up while they're very young. We do pick up on other things, and are often specialists in things that NTs are horrible at doing. So it's more like a totally different developmental trajectory than a simple deficiency.

Are you considering talking about the possibility of social phobia to your shrink or whoever you see? I honestly think it would be a good idea. You seem to have a lot of problems related to social phobia-type traits, and working on those seems like it'd be a good thing, especially since you say you're an extrovert and that means you probably have a greater need to socialize than introverted autistics do.

The usual thing with social phobia is that you gradually expose yourself to the things you fear--starting with things that only make you a tiny bit anxious, and never going so fast that you feel more than a tiny bit of anxiety. It's a straightforward thing. Works for things like fear of spiders or darkness or whatever, too. A good counselor can help you with it.