I may be barking up the wrong tree here...but I am wondering if I have common Asperberger's type symptoms. I am female, 50 years old. I am uninterested in socializing with people and don't have much to say to them. I have a hard time making small talk and don't like to listen to others especially if they are long winded. But I am very insecure and often blame myself for any social situation that I feel I don't do well in, which is most. I don't have a lot of interests and when I do I get really into them but then I lose interest very fast. I have a hard time learning things, I feel I have to go over instructions many times, it is hard for me to focus on learning new things or I get overwhelmed very fast. I always feel like I don't fit in anywhere and never have and just feel different from everyone else but can't put my finger on why?? I feel like I don't have the typical female attributes such as wanting children/cleaning/cooking/empathy. I usually am not very emotional but occasionally my emotions overwhelm me and I either obsess or break down and cry hard (which really troubles me), I have a fear of crying in front of people. I guess I can keep going on but it is mostly that I never felt normal but can fit in with most people but inside I know I am faking it. I would rather be alone but do get bored easily, I pace the floor or switch activities every 15 minutes or so, I get restless but not sure why or what to do with myself. I am mostly just slightly on edge but not usually outright anxiety, but I have a hard time relaxing. I guess that is it for now.
I forgot to add a few more things that might be more telling:
I am not very affectionate with others, I rarely initiate affection (hugs/hello/goodbye) but I am ok if someone else does but I do obsess about it when I arrive or leave gatherings where it is common to hug hello/goodbye.
I am not very family oriented and am not very close to my family, don't like calling for holidays etc.
02 Nov 2011, 10:14 pm
