Just been diagnosed....scared....

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Hi. I was diagnosed with Autism a couple of weeks ago. I know a fair bit about Autism but i'm feeling really confused. I don't know how i should feel or how to express myself other than bad things to myself. Can anyone advise? Thank you. Anne. x

Don't be afraid and for heaven's sake don't be ashamed. You're still the same person you were before you were diagnosed. You'll still be the same after your diagnosis. You are one of God's magnificent creations. Be fearless and proud!

While I don't have a diagnosis, I was somewhat relieved when my then 4 year old son recieved his. From the diagnosis, my wife and I could come up with a plan to work with him. Because of his diagnosis, our son was also able to qualify for services both in school at home. Diagnosis or not, he's stilll a 14 year old boy who loves to read Manga , use his telescope, and camp out doors with the scouts.

How you should feel?

I suspect you feel pretty much the same as you did previously. Emotions can be a bit difficult for Aspies, but not to worry. I wish they had diagnosis back when I was young. When I told a friend I thought I was an Aspie, he remarked that it explained a lot. Don't worry about how others see you. Now that you know, you can play up your strengths and work to play down your weaknesses. I had to practice a lot to make eye contact, and now I'm quite good at it.

A diagnosis can be confusing because it's delivered by a psychiatrist or other medical professional, who usually tell you there's something "wrong." A lot of medical professionals are getting away from that reasoning because it makes them focus on the bad, and none of the good.

I am 22-years-old and had a diagnosis with Asperger's since 3, before they even put Asperger's in the DSM-IV. My diagnosing doctor happened to be one of the leading Asperger's researchers in the US, and probably has a better understanding of what Asperger's means and does not mean. He urged my parents to mainstream me once I reached 7 or 8, and then lobby AGAINST special education for me. If I needed services, he felt, I could see a psychologist to vent.

This path led me to believe there was nothing wrong with me. There was bullying and failed efforts to connect with peers, but I assumed I had offsetting traits. It wasn't until 16 or 17 that I realized anything was wrong. Having since moved to the East Coast, I adopted a more tough-minded stance: if anyone thinks there is somethiing wrong with me, fuc<! them. It has come full-circle.

Living with autism is a matter of perspective. Lots of people believe it's a disability, and society often reinforces that point. I chose to believe it has given me gifts, like rapid analysis and an introspective demeanor. I don't know you, so I can't say what traits your autism has enhanced. But the best advice I can give you is to find those traits and build on them. That's the secret every businessman, athlete, politician, and other successful individuals have learned that most haven't.

Some facts you should know that might help:

1- Whether or not you choose to think of it as a gift or a disability is entirely up to you. I choose to think of it as both, because, frankly for me, it is. There are certain things about it that suck, and other things about it that are great. What sucks and what is great about it differs from person to person. You'll have to "get in touch" with your own Autism to make those determinations about yourself.

2 - Autism, especially High Functioning Autism, doesn't get worse. It's not a disease that progresses until you can't function. Quite the contrary, in fact. Almost all of us can improve over time, if we're willing to accept what we have, LEARN about it and ourselves, and learn certain adaptation skills. I'm not going to paint a rosy picture for you and say that you'll be as socially functional as everyone around you eventually, but, it can and does get better, IF you are willing to learn and apply what you learn.

3 - There is nothing WRONG with you! It's not about "right and wrong!" You are who you are, and there is no reason you shouldn't be accepted as who you are. That is not to say that everyone will accept you for who you are, but it's not everyone that matters. It's YOU that matters. Accept yourself for who you are! You did not ask for Autism, or bring it on yourself. You were BORN with it, and it is as much of who you are as any talent others are born with.

4 - Though you may need to accept that certain things about yourself are hard, or even not possible to change, there are also things that you CAN change. Figuring out what they are is kind of a trial-and-error process, but you can figure it out just by trying various things. Over time, you will learn what works and what doesn't work for YOU.

Well, don't freak out, silly! You're still the same person you've always been, and you'll be the same person you are now. It's not like this is a new thing for you.

Autism diagnosis isn't like a diagnosis of, say, pneumonia; if the doctor tells you you have pneumonia, chances are you haven't had it for that long. (Well, a friend of mine once had it for a month before she went to the doctor, but she was being pretty silly.) Having pneumonia means you have to change stuff--you have to sleep a lot and take medication and maybe go to the hospital. It means your body no longer works the way it's supposed to, and that you have to take steps to get it back into balance.

On the other hand, a diagnosis of autism is just a label for what you were born with, what you've had all your life. The diagnosis isn't a sign that something about you has changed; it's just an acknowledgement of an aspect of yourself that has always been there. Your body and your mind are working just the way they are supposed to. You have a healthy autistic brain--which works differently from most people's brains, but is still a healthy, though differently-wired, brain.

The plus side of autism diagnosis is that now that you know exactly how you are different, you have a short-hand way of finding out about yourself (because you now have a label that makes it easier to access information and therapy), of learning new things (because now you can say "autism" to a therapist or a search engine or a library and get relevant information), and of getting the adjustments you need to pursue your goals.

It can be a little tough wrapping your mind around the fact that you have (in fact, have always had) a disability. I think that's mostly due to the way many people think about disability--that it's always obvious, and severe, and doesn't let you do anything you want to, and forces you to be dependent and incapable, and can't have any really cool skills. But none of that's true. Disability just means you have some impairment that reduces your abilities to meet society's requirements in some area. You make up for those impairments--training, technology, assistance, or just brute-forcing it by working harder--and you go on with your life. Disability can be a positive part of identity or even pride.