How do you deal with coworkers that dislike you

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CaptainTrips222
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15 Nov 2011, 3:09 pm

I do NOT want to put anything else in the working forum. I'm sick of not getting feedback.

Anyway, a lot of people on the spectrum find themselves the outsider at work. To me, this has been the reason for my shaky employment- it hurts so bad I can't pay attention to business and starting screwing up. So if it's you're experience that people don't like you on the job for no reason, how do you cope with this? I just started a new job and I'm expecting to be disliked by at least a quarter of the people.



Burnbridge
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15 Nov 2011, 3:11 pm

I have same problem, and I can't cope with it. Unless long periods of unemployment are considered a coping mechanism.


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Fnord
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15 Nov 2011, 3:25 pm

How do I deal with coworkers that dislike me?

I keep reminding myself that I'm not paid to like or be liked; I am paid to work.


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Xyzzy
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15 Nov 2011, 3:40 pm

There are people that dislike me?

Hmmm. In all honesty, I had never even considered that possibility until I read this thread. Certainly, in school, I had people who disliked me. But I've never even had an inkling of it at work. I guess from an entirely objective point of view, there must be more than a few. But I've never picked up on it. I guess that I just haven't really cared enough to give it much thought.

From the other side of the equation, I have people that I wish *didn't* like me. I'd get a lot more done if people didn't hang around trying to chat all of the time.


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MrXxx
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15 Nov 2011, 3:41 pm

Fnord wrote:
How do I deal with coworkers that dislike me?

I keep reminding myself that I'm not paid to like or be liked; I am paid to work.


This ^^

I don't care if people don't like me. It's not my problem if they don't. Most who don't aren't vocal about it anyway. If they are, and it interferes with my work, I will be vocal right back. It's my livelihood, and I don't tolerate people messing with that. It's pretty rare for that to happen though, and in every case so far, I'm not the only one who notices them being pains in the ass. Managers usually do too, so whenever I come across people like that, they aren't usually around for long. Managers care about productivity. If my productivity is being affected by someone else's behavior, they tend to defend the productivity over the behavior.

Shut your mouth and let me do my job. That''s all I care about. If you mess with my ability to do so, it WILL come back to bite you in the arse.


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15 Nov 2011, 3:42 pm

I keep to myself-I have more of a problem with the office politics and how people play games at work when I thought all this high school stuff they play ended back in high school.


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15 Nov 2011, 3:43 pm

I don't think I would be disliked exactly. I think I would just get judged by popular type of people. I can actually sense if I'm being judged by a person or not. I really can't explain how, but I know myself that I can. But I don't deal with it very well. If I catch somebody moaning or laughing at me, I get upset inside, then when they speak to me either nicely or horribly, I act as though I really like them, instead of showing how hurt and upset they've actually made me feel. I'm too forgiving, and they know that and so they just think they can belittle me whenever they like and I will still kiss their arse. But it's because I fear being responsible of causing an atmosphere, and I hate arguing because I know I never win.


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tomboy4good
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15 Nov 2011, 3:44 pm

If I had a penny for every person who didn't like me or even hated me, I'd probably be filthy rich by now.

Are you paid to get along with co-workers or are you paid to do your job? I don't know your situation, but maybe try to view it as an objective outsider. Maybe you're doing something they don't like.


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keira
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15 Nov 2011, 4:04 pm

I think it depends a lot on the attitude. I go to work to do my job and not to find friends. There's always people who don't like me but I try to stay as professional as I possibly can. I talk to them about work or consult them but avoid any socializing. That helped me to keep my job so far.



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15 Nov 2011, 4:17 pm

I ignore them. I don't talk to them or associate with them unless it's for business like. I don't know if anyone at work dislikes me or not but if they do, I don't notice because they don't treat me like crap.


I don't care if people don't like me either, I only care about how they treat me.



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15 Nov 2011, 4:18 pm

Have passionate sex with their wives just before you leave the job.



Xyzzy
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15 Nov 2011, 4:27 pm

Tequila wrote:
Have passionate sex with their wives just before you leave the job.


Of course, this could have been a contributing factor to them not liking you in the first place. :)


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Ria1989
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15 Nov 2011, 4:30 pm

Tequila wrote:
Have passionate sex with their wives just before you leave the job.



Hahahahaha. Best advice yet. Hmmm... That reminds me of that one movie... :)


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OJani
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15 Nov 2011, 4:46 pm

I'm having an ongoing crisis with one of my colleagues. I think she had been bullying me for quite some time. It's a pity I can't speak up for myself when I have to, no matter what I write about it elsewhere.

What would you do when someone is productive and bullies (verbally abuses) others at the same time to different degrees? I get the worst of all, though.

Don't wait till your nerves crack. Find a solution with the boss.

Anyway, I don't care much about what my coworkers say. I try to be friendly with everyone, if that doesn't work, professional, and always kind. It just doesn't always work...


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15 Nov 2011, 4:52 pm

OJani wrote:
I'm having an ongoing crisis with one of my colleagues. I think she had been bullying me for quite some time. It's a pity I can't speak up for myself when I have to, no matter what I write about it elsewhere.

What would you do when someone is productive and bullies (verbally abuses) others at the same time to different degrees? I get the worst of all, though.

Don't wait till your nerves crack. Find a solution with the boss.

Anyway, I don't care much about what my coworkers say. I try to be friendly with everyone, if that doesn't work, professional, and always kind. It just doesn't always work...


The problem I've had with bullies on & off over the years is that they often slant the situation to make the victim look like the perpetrator. This has happened to me for years. My ex-boss just accused me of stealing office equipment when he fired me. Truth is I paid for my own all in one printer because that's the only way I could get him to agree with me getting a scanner at my desk. When I left, it left with me...but he made it sound like he/the company paid for the device. I have a family member who has also experienced something similar at her job. It's just amazing how low some people will go to hurt a fellow employee.

My best advice is to keep a written account of all the bullying including the time & dates of the event(s). Then when you get called on it, because the bully always wants to bring other people down, you can bring out your evidence.

Best of luck!

Tomboy


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OJani
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15 Nov 2011, 5:07 pm

tomboy4good wrote:
OJani wrote:
I'm having an ongoing crisis with one of my colleagues. I think she had been bullying me for quite some time. It's a pity I can't speak up for myself when I have to, no matter what I write about it elsewhere.

What would you do when someone is productive and bullies (verbally abuses) others at the same time to different degrees? I get the worst of all, though.

Don't wait till your nerves crack. Find a solution with the boss.

Anyway, I don't care much about what my coworkers say. I try to be friendly with everyone, if that doesn't work, professional, and always kind. It just doesn't always work...


The problem I've had with bullies on & off over the years is that they often slant the situation to make the victim look like the perpetrator. This has happened to me for years. My ex-boss just accused me of stealing office equipment when he fired me. Truth is I paid for my own all in one printer because that's the only way I could get him to agree with me getting a scanner at my desk. When I left, it left with me...but he made it sound like he/the company paid for the device. I have a family member who has also experienced something similar at her job. It's just amazing how low some people will go to hurt a fellow employee.

My best advice is to keep a written account of all the bullying including the time & dates of the event(s). Then when you get called on it, because the bully always wants to bring other people down, you can bring out your evidence.

Best of luck!

Tomboy

Thanks. I'll do the best I can to keep my job. And, your first sentence describes my problem exactly... * sigh *

Golden advices:

"Don't punish yourself for someone else's stupidity."

"Don't argue with stupid people, they'll defeat you with their routine." :twisted: