Why are people treating me...weird?

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My favorite coat is really big & I've often been target by people in stores & followed around because people who steal things wear big coats. So I understand. I also make that furtive eye contact with people so I look suspicious in that way too.

I like to listen to music when I take walks but I've only had one MP3 player that didn't work correctly & I don't care for them so I never replaced it. So then I'm paranoid about walking around with a CD player, which makes me look odder.

Could have something to do with profiling. You are wearing the big trench coat, so you could look suspicious because of that. It's hard to believe everyone avoids you on the bus. Maybe some do, but does everyone really? What about the people who got on the bus before you? How can they avoid you when you are going to your seat and they are already seated? Seems like it would be difficult.
The cops could be responding to you or it could be something entirely unrelated to you. It's impossible to know for sure. Even if you asked, the cops wouldn't give information.

I got something interesting to share. It's kind of like what you are experiencing. I can never tell if I am just being paranoid or what. It involves a restaurant called IHOP or International House of Pancakes. I went to one particular location on a fairly regular basis, with a few other people, had no problems with service and enjoyed it. The only time it got on my nerves it happened to be overcrowded with very noisy people crowded into the front waiting to be seated.
So, one day, we are sitting close to the door and a police officer comes in and wants to speak to the manager. She has to wait a while for him to do something. I didn't pay attention to the conversation so have no idea what she wanted. We were seated fairly close to the front counter and the door where the police officer stood. When we left, she still stood there waiting.
On a different day, we returned to dine again. The hostess leads us to an area off to the side. It's a big, half circle booth made for more people than just the three of us. There's nobody seated nearby and the table is sticky. All the other people are seated at the tables close to the front door, in the booths. When new diners entered after us, they sat in that same area, in the booths for up to four people while we three sat in a corner at a booth made for six or more people when we only had three in our party. I considered it strange and of course I complained about it to who accompanied me, stating it's weird we are sitting at this gigantic booth in a corner alone while everyone else is in a different part of the restaurant in appropriate booths for the number dining. I got told I am just being paranoid.

So, the next time after that, we go back to the IHOP. In the car I tell the people with me I bet the same thing happens again, we are going to get seated at that same booth in the corner and it's weird the way this just started happening after we had been going to IHOP for ages and never experienced anything like this before. We always felt included there. Sure enough, we are led to that same booth, with no other people sitting near us. People that entered after us were not seated nearby. The same thing happened again and the table being STICKY again! I couldn't believe it! So, after that, I gave up and headed to a different IHOP and got treated like a human being again. I don't know what the deal was. I have no idea if it had something to do with that cop saying something about us or what. It was just strange and odd and inexplicable. It only started happening after the day the police officer was there.

I am thinking about returning to that IHOP next time I go to one just to see what happens. I will be going on a weekday in the afternoon when it is really slow. If I get led to that huge booth I am going to ask if we can sit someplace else and see what happens. Of course, she will probably find another location just as secluded and awkward as that one but it would be interesting just to find out. If she leads me to another sticky, secluded location, I'll just say I don't like it and ask to be seated someplace else and just play musical chairs until we manage to get a regular sized booth near the door like we usually do.

I thought about that thought when I was writing that and I was thinking, "I hope no one takes that literally.".

Anyways, at least five people chose to stand instead of sitting next to me and everybody in the "second chair" out of the pair of the two seats for every row preferred others to me, if you want to get technical.



Weird, I wonder if the person assigning the seats found something noticeable about you or someone in your group that just somehow triggered the "This table looks like THEIRS" thought or something. I have my doubts anybody would do *that* maliciously and they might've had good intentions about it (More space = good).

I didn't mean to imply any malice existed. I honestly do not know why it started happening. The really annoying thing is the stickiness of the table. Why go out of the way to put us at a booth much bigger than is needed for our small group (none of us morbidly obese or anything) when the table is yucky and sticky. Someone spilled syrup all over it and the busboy didn't clean it very well. It's like, that's the stickiest table in the place and they surely must know.

Coincidence + Self Consciousness isn't in your list.

I get followed around in Tesco's. I'm actually baffled as to why, i don't really look like a chav. Not only that, But i go in EVERY day and always buy the same thing. Would of thought they'd leave me alone by now !

Yeah, people always avoid me as well, but of course, I am the weirdest person in the tri-state area! Walking around in my granny dress, walking stiffly, with a little hop in my step, like a kangaroo, wearing crocs, constantly looking all over the bus....

I also forget to take showers many days so...

Oh, yeah, then they probably did have something against someone in the group or the group.

I don't understand what triggered it though since we are always nice and had been going there on a regular basis for quite sometime and left tips. It's a mystery to me but instead of questioning, it's better to be proactive. Like I said, I should go back and see if it happens and if it does, keep requesting a different table or booth until I am at one to my liking. Why spend all this time wondering why and being helpless when I can alter the situation if I choose?

The funny part is knowing how corrupt and dishonest most NT's are!

Its a bit like being suspicious of a child, often an angel....

My family is very particular about where we sit & we ask to be seated where we want if they are leading us to a crappy table at a restaurant. They always comply unless all of the tables are taken or something.

They do with us as well. I forget when flustered I can always ask for a different table.

Well they would have to know you by sight to do something like that on an ongoing basis, or it would have to be the same hostess, etc each time, if it was something one of your group did, I'd think. Is it the same girl? Do you go there enough for them to know you somewhat? The reason I'm asking this is I had an idea of what it could be. It's not a bad thing either. Maybe your group is always nice, or you seem nice at the door while waiting and the table away from everyone is for a new person on the wait staff and they are training. That could explain why you are away from everybody else - the new person is only doing one table at first, and why it's sticky - they aren't that good with a wash cloth yet.

Then again, I could be wrong.

You can always go back and if they seat you there again, just ask in a nice way, like you are joking with them or something. "Everytime we come here lately, you put us way over here away from everybody else. Is there something I don't know going on?" said kind of jokingly might get you an answer. I'd make sure to reassure them that the table is fine, it's just sticky. I kind of like being seated away from lots of people.

Also, and I just thought of this, is it in a different section? By this I mean could you possibly be the only ones in the smoking or non-smoking section? Do they even have those anymore? I haven't been out to a real restaurant in over ten years! The ones I have been to are all in town and are all greasy spoons or BBQ joints, and they are all smoking section.

Frances

They have smoking sections in Greasy Spoons and BBQ joints where you live? Are you in the States? Wherever you live, I want to move there!

I was under the apparently false impression that there was no smoking in restaurants allowed anymore, pretty much anywhere. I cartainly haven't seen a smoking section in years, and I travel rather a lot.

Yes, well they don't have smoking "sections" in the places in the town I'm in, it's all smoking section. You would not want to move here. It's a small town in the very, very, deep south. Most people I know here do smoke, or used to smoke and have quit. I know very few people in town that smoking bothers. The ones who it does bother are bothered for health reasons, such as allergies or asthma, or because they have recently quit and being around smokers makes them want to start again. Even at the high school, you see kids walking out when the 3:00 bell rings and lighting cigarettes as they walk to their car. You aren't supposed to smoke on campus, but the teachers do, and as long as the kids don't go out and smoke where people can see them between classes or anything, they don't do much about it. There is an unofficial smoking area that the teachers go to outside. If a kid who smokes has had something bad happen, such as an injury or hearing bad news, teachers don't complain if they go to the smoking area and have a cigarette while waiting on someone to come pick them up. It's strange.
I've even had a doctor ask my husband for a cigarette while we were in the emergency room. He was trying to quit so he doesn't buy cigarettes anymore, he bums them. He saw my husbands in his shirt pocket and asked for one. So they both went outside and smoked together. The smoking area is simply standing outside the emergency room entrance. Under the overhang, right outside. My husband was the patient. They talked about football. Then they came back in and went back to being doctor and patient.

As for restaurants, I don't know about nice ones, in the cities because I havent been to one in about ten years. I do think it's a horrible idea for bars to be non-smoking though. I could never go to one then, because alcohol makes me want to smoke.

Frances

Um, I smoke cigs a lot. I mean, a LOT. I would probably like your smal town in the deep deep south.

The people are all up in your business, all the time, no matter what. Anonymity is impossible.

Frances