eye contact? any tips?
does anyone know any advice for making eye contact?
im trying to learn how.
there is a therpist lady who has worked with pepole with autism that takes me out
about once a week, she is helping me with it.
the last time i was with her we started talking about speaking and eye contact (altough i dont acctualy speak to her, i type on her iphone because speaking is somthing im not good at) she said maybe try eye contact because i already have speaked a few words to her over months, so we worked on that, i tried moving my tangle thing (its a fidget toy i have that twists around in all ways) infront of me and focusing on that but i couldnt do that near her face, so then she tried her iphone (this was all happening when she was driving me home in her car) she kept driving and held the phone up to her head (her head was facing at the road so it was at a side angle) and told me to keep looking at the phone even when she moved it, that worked a little bit, my eyes started to loook elsewhere after she moved the phone, so then she tried moving the tangle thing to her face and then she put it over her ear and told me to focus on that, i could mostly just get up to her sholders and chin. so we tried again after i was out the car and about to head home either she or i (i cant remember who) held the tangle infront of her face but not in direct eye contact, was below her eyes like around her chin so she crouched down so she was in eye contact with me for about half a second then i had to look away and cover my eyes, she was very happy at my progess.
just wondering if anyone knows any good tips for looking at someone else in the eyes? is the holding a object of intrest near the area of focus a good idea?
_________________
moderate low functining autistic (i was diagnosed with autism, not aspeger syndrome).
my picture is my ear defenders that i wear all the time. pictured is silencio earmuff, l1 howard leight, i also own 12 howard leight (not pictured) .
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,477
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Well I know how to make eye contact, but its severely uncomfortable unless I actually know the person I'm making eye contact with and if I am thinking about trying to make eye contact then I can't pay attention to what's being said.
Now if you really do want to make eye contact and all what you're doing so far should probably help, sorry I don't have much other advice....but for me its just sometimes better that I don't and live with coming off as weird for not making eye contact.
_________________
We won't go back.
looking at someones nose is indeed a proven method of making acceptable eye-contact; if that doesn't work for you, you can try looking at the forehead or alternating between the earlobes for a simular effect.
as for 'real' eye-contact, i myself can do that, but i generally choose not to, as it still causes a lot of stress and is only possible with certain persons.
ok thanks
_________________
moderate low functining autistic (i was diagnosed with autism, not aspeger syndrome).
my picture is my ear defenders that i wear all the time. pictured is silencio earmuff, l1 howard leight, i also own 12 howard leight (not pictured) .
Now if you really do want to make eye contact and all what you're doing so far should probably help, sorry I don't have much other advice....but for me its just sometimes better that I don't and live with coming off as weird for not making eye contact.
ok thanks anyway
_________________
moderate low functining autistic (i was diagnosed with autism, not aspeger syndrome).
my picture is my ear defenders that i wear all the time. pictured is silencio earmuff, l1 howard leight, i also own 12 howard leight (not pictured) .
as for 'real' eye-contact, i myself can do that, but i generally choose not to, as it still causes a lot of stress and is only possible with certain persons.
thanks for the advice
_________________
moderate low functining autistic (i was diagnosed with autism, not aspeger syndrome).
my picture is my ear defenders that i wear all the time. pictured is silencio earmuff, l1 howard leight, i also own 12 howard leight (not pictured) .
My therapist told me to look people in the forehead (which has already been mentioned here). However, I have sometimes been able to look people in their left eye, but I tend to do the Aspie stare and have to try to glance away occasionally as my therapist told me NT people do. My therapist showed me the technique of glancing away and then making eye contact (to the forehead), but I have not been able to feel very comfortable with it. When I do maintain actual eye contact, I tend to have trouble keeping focus on what it is I am talking about or listening to with that person.
_________________
"My journey has just begun."
SyphonFilter
Veteran
Joined: 7 Feb 2011
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 2,161
Location: The intersection of Inkopolis’ Plaza & Square where the Turf Wars lie.
I don't like making eye contact with anyone either, and I also practice making eye contact with my therapist. I've only made eye-to-eye contact once with her, for a second. It was one of the most uncomfortable moments I've ever had. It's even hard to look another family member in the eye. So instead I look at people's noses.
im trying to learn how.
The best way to make eye contact is to fixate on different areas of the person you're interacting with, for instance glance at their eyes for a few seconds, switch to look at the side of their face or forehead, rotate until you aren't making direct eye contact with them, this will definitely help.
I used to practise eye contact with my mother. I never mastered regulating it, I cannot flit between looking and looking away without losing cognition.
_________________
'You seem very clever at explaining words, Sir,' said Alice. 'Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called "Jabberwocky"?'
I used to have trouble with it but I started forcing myself to stare into peoples eyes when talking or listening to them so now I do it by reflex. It doesn't look very natural, I've been told that I have an intense, penetrating stare but I think its much better than not looking in peoples eyes at all. Furthermore, I think its becoming more natural looking all the time.
thanks
_________________
moderate low functining autistic (i was diagnosed with autism, not aspeger syndrome).
my picture is my ear defenders that i wear all the time. pictured is silencio earmuff, l1 howard leight, i also own 12 howard leight (not pictured) .
yes, it is hard.
_________________
moderate low functining autistic (i was diagnosed with autism, not aspeger syndrome).
my picture is my ear defenders that i wear all the time. pictured is silencio earmuff, l1 howard leight, i also own 12 howard leight (not pictured) .
ok
_________________
moderate low functining autistic (i was diagnosed with autism, not aspeger syndrome).
my picture is my ear defenders that i wear all the time. pictured is silencio earmuff, l1 howard leight, i also own 12 howard leight (not pictured) .
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
im doing a test campaign as a dm any tips |
Yesterday, 5:29 pm |
eye contact, How would you describe it |
23 Feb 2024, 4:09 pm |
Unsure about going non-contact with my mum |
29 Feb 2024, 6:34 am |
Undesired physical contact |
28 Feb 2024, 9:48 pm |