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ocdgirl123
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03 Mar 2012, 2:28 pm

Does any else have a similar issue? I am able to feel empathy in some situations than others, for example, if I see someone's hair get pulled, I feel no empathy. At all. However, I feel intense empathy if I hear someone being made fun of. I also have more empathy for people I like than people I don't like.

Does anyone know what I mean?



diniesaur
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03 Mar 2012, 3:18 pm

I feel intense empathy when I see people being physically hurt, or when they're abused, emotionally or physically. I feel intense empathy when they're not treated as living creatures should be.

I feel very little, if any, empathy when peope feel "social discomfort" or "embarrasment" because I don't feel social discomfort and I rarely ever feel embarrased.



Joe90
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03 Mar 2012, 3:19 pm

Yer, but I think it's common in most people though. Like when people stare at me in the street, and most people (especially NTs) know that staring is intimidating and makes one feel uncomfortable, and most people don't like being stared at, so why stare at other people if you don't like it yourself? Why can't they stop and think, ''hang on a minute, how does me staring at this girl make her feel? She might not like it, especially if she weren't looking at me to begin with,'' or, ''oh that girl over there is looking a bit nervous, but I am not going to stare at her. Maybe she's just having a bad day, or maybe she's got an important meeting later, or maybe she's just feeling a bit under the weather and just wants to go home. Who am I to judge her against her feelings?'' But no, they don't think that. They just enjoy making others feel uncomfortable as long as THEY (the person staring) are OK. Happens a lot with humans.

I think I went off-topic a little, but I know that a lot of people can have this type of thing with empathy. When other women get period pains, I feel so much empathy for them that I end up getting them too because I know it's the worst pain I've ever had (so far), but other things like the parent of a kid who is having a tantrum, I don't feel sorry for. All I mutter to myself in that situation is, ''stupid parents, why bring the brat out?!'' and all those kinds of things.


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03 Mar 2012, 3:26 pm

It's normal to feel empathy for things we identify with and care about more as opposed to things we don't. I don't have empathy for a lot of human conditions and behaviors. It just depends.



Sweetleaf
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03 Mar 2012, 3:38 pm

I think that is fairly normal the feeling more empathy for people you care about and more empathy in some situations than others. I tend to have quite a bit of empathy even when it comes to people I don't really know not that I would have any idea how to express it. As for the staring thing I don't like if people go out of their way to stare at me but, I know sometimes its hard for me not to look in the direction of people when on public transportation for instance so maybe other people are simply doing that as well.

as for the issue of being stared at usually i can kind of feel negative auras, if someone is actually staring at me and thinking anything bad in my direction...its rather weird but I feel like this sort of extra sense has gotten me out of a few situations before they took place. Regardless though sometimes I have days where it feels like everyone is staring at me and on those days I try to get away from being out in public as quickly as possible because its weird and I don't enjoy it.


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ocdgirl123
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03 Mar 2012, 3:47 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I think that is fairly normal the feeling more empathy for people you care about and more empathy in some situations than others.


This is a bit of problem because there's a girl at school who some of the people except me to be empathetic towards (or at least have sympathy for) and I try and try to have some sympathy/empathy for her but I just can't do it because I don't like her.

However, if I hurt someone I care about, I may even feel empathetic for them even if I am the one that caused them to be hurt, also I feel a lot of empathy for people who are in fear, unless I don't like them.



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03 Mar 2012, 6:06 pm

Yeah, it is more difficult if you don't like someone. Even when I really feel empathy, I can't always express it and that gets me into trouble :(

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CockneyRebel
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03 Mar 2012, 6:07 pm

I feel pretty much the same type of empathy that you do. We tend to feel empathy towards people and things that we can identify with.


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Craig466
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04 Mar 2012, 1:12 am

When I dislike someone and they are suffering, I sometimes feel critical of them, and blame them for bringing on the suffering, instead of feeling empathic. Of course, when the suffering is really extreme, sometimes I get over my dislike of them and feel some empathy. It's totally normal. I'm not on the autistic spectrum as far as I know.



CocoNuts
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04 Mar 2012, 2:22 am

I don't feel empathy for emotional situations. When friends tell me about love issues, relatives' health problems/death, self confidence issues, I feel very little or nothing, even though I might like the friend very much and I try to be helpful.
I feel empathy about social injustice.


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katwithhat
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04 Mar 2012, 10:47 am

I have extreme empathy for kids that are different or being teased and animals. Adults, not so much. I actually hurt for my cat and dog when they're not well and I wish they could speak, then I gladly remember that they can't and go about my day.



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04 Mar 2012, 10:51 am

Joe90 wrote:
Yer, but I think it's common in most people though. Like when people stare at me in the street, and most people (especially NTs) know that staring is intimidating and makes one feel uncomfortable, and most people don't like being stared at, so why stare at other people if you don't like it yourself? Why can't they stop and think, ''hang on a minute, how does me staring at this girl make her feel? She might not like it, especially if she weren't looking at me to begin with,'' or, ''oh that girl over there is looking a bit nervous, but I am not going to stare at her. Maybe she's just having a bad day, or maybe she's got an important meeting later, or maybe she's just feeling a bit under the weather and just wants to go home. Who am I to judge her against her feelings?'' But no, they don't think that. They just enjoy making others feel uncomfortable as long as THEY (the person staring) are OK.


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