Telling people about my AS?

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I don't want to run around blabbing about it or anything. But I feel as if it's something that my parents and close friends should know about. Maybe even a couple of ex-girlfriends with whom I'm on good terms. I feel as though they have a right to know, even if it just comes out as "Hey guys, this is what my deal is!"

However... I'm not clinically diagnosed. Nor do I really want to get "officially" diagnosed. It's pretty obvious to me that I'm an aspie, despite the big fancy NT hat that I have sitting around.

So I'm wondering how it would affect my life to tell the people who I think deserve to know about it. Are they even gonna believe me on this one? Does that even matter?

Hmmm... I think the type of people that will judge you for your aspie traits will probably also think that you self-diagnosing is just you trying to find an excuse for the things they don't like about you.

Anyone that you have a close and caring relationship with that is aware of the frustrations you have with the world will probably be more open to it if you explain why you believe you have aspergers. At first there may be some assumptions that you couldn't possibly have aspergers because you don't act like rainman.... But yeah, if you can get past that, it could be helpful.

I feel I'm likely in a similar situation.

Personally it seems more of a risk vs. reward situation.
What do you hope to gain by having these people receive this information?
Do you feel it would even be relevant to their interests or even given a second thought?

I recall mentioning that I suspect some sort of social anxiety disorder or potentially something similar to or encompassing Asperger's to my Mom, once. Parents, at least mine, seem a bit predisposed to automatically dismissing your concerns without actually considering the symptoms that you are noticing.

There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of benefit unless the topic presents itself from another means, but that's more reflective of my experiences. Would you be content with a response of "...and?" when you present this?

People often say this is because parents can't face up to the fact that there might be something wrong with their precious child. I have to wonder though if its more that parents have only ever known you as you are and they have loved you unconditionally. I think for many it never occurs to them that outside the safety of the family home the differences and difficulties can be extremely distressing. They think you should embrace your differences but just don't get how unhappy you are outside the family domain.

In my case, I think I can see strong aspergers traits in my father and brother. It seems a little to me that my traits may not be so strong but I'm having a harder time navigating the world than my brother. My father has always been quite dysfunctional and unhappy. Within the family half seem to me as NT's and the other half seem to me to have traits suggestive of aspergers. Within our family unit we have grown up with difference and have some tolerance and understanding even though its not conscious. I don't think the NT's in my family really consider how tough the outside world can be for the rest of us.

I myself wanted, after I was diagnosed, to tell my closest friend why it was I am differnent, but after a few very bad reactions I had this dramatic realism settle over; people who you think need to know why you are different are not good friends: if they need a reason to accept your differences, you should seek new ones. Parents in my experience can either be very accepting or (more often) see that you have no physical difficulties so there can't be anything wrong with you, especially since they only see you in a home setting generally, which is where we aspeis function best. So, be carefull with telling people, really think about it first and good luck.

After reading the Bio at the top of the page today, it got me to thinking. After all humans are just a more evolved form of animal.

Anytime you have a animal which is different from the norms of society, the other animals has a tenancy not to tolerate it and to shy away from it.
Announcing to the world - I have a problem, does not solve the problem, it just creates new problems.
The key is to fit in well enough to get all the other animals to tolerate you and your disability.
Even if the government said tomorrow, it is illegal to discriminate against this person because they are different, it would still happen.
The difference is that usually people will do one thing to your face and a entirely different thing behind your back.
You always have to watch your back - because usually there is no one else watching it for you.
Did you ever notice if you were fired from a job, no one else takes up for you, and no one else threatens to quit - just because you were unjustly fired.
The reason is - because it is easier to get rid of the one person that disrupts the system then to change the system.
Did you ever notice that once you have been fired, you will meet others later that were also fired that are now looking to you for justification and sympathy?

The old saying - what comes around, goes around.

Even Nascar has its issues, it is easy to designate a race - as for people suffering with autism, and to generate money to search for a cure. But how many of those very same people actually employs someone with autism?
The answer is ZERO!

Thanks, guys. But you know, it's not even like, "Hey, I have a problem. This is what it is." It's more of a "So, this is what I just found out, and I want to share this with you" kind of situation. I suppose I'll just let it happen as it happens. I don't need people worrying about me or anything like that for now.

And I've gotta wonder if my parents have known or suspected all along. I mean, when I was a kid, my friends were really my cat, my books, and my legos. The only reason I worked so hard to socialize with kids my age was because I live in a city where people are utterly unavoidable. Now I'm all grown up, and while I have some close friends with whom I've developed friendships over the years, my best friends are my tools. I also used to have absence seizures and possibly still do. It's not uncommon for people on the autism spectrum. In any case, I think I'll wait on breaking the news until it isn't really news to me anymore.