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Aspie men and Aspie women in society!

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Jamesy
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29 May 2012, 9:59 am

Do you agree that in western society if your a man and have AS your A LOT more screwed than a women who is an aspie. I believe as well that a women with aspergers has a very similar quality of life too how an NT women does yet there is a HUGE gulf between a aspie man compared too an NT man when it comes too being successfull in life. I think in general its disgraceful the way society treats men and people should realise that sexism in general is WRONG.

If your a man with AS you are the opposite of what is expected from men in todays society in general and that is a DEADLY characteristic. If your a women with AS then there is no point even dwelling on it becasue it will not affect how far you get in life as much as it would effect someone with dyslexia or ADHD.


Your thoughts on this? Hopefully in future generations society will change its ways but unfourtantly in our generation society is still stuck in stone age when it comes too values etc... :evil:



Last edited by Jamesy on 29 May 2012, 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
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29 May 2012, 10:08 am

Jamesy wrote:
Do you agree that in western society if your a man and have AS your A LOT more screwed than a women who is an aspie. I believe as well that a women with aspergers has a very similar quality of life too how an NT women does yet there is a HUGE gulf between a aspie man compared too an NT man when it comes too being successfull in life
If your a man with AS you are the opposite of what is expected from men in todays society in general and that is a DEADLY characteristic. If your a women with AS then there is no point even dwelling on it becasue it will not affect how far you get in life as much as it would effect someone with dyslexia or ADHD.
Your thoughts on this? Hopefully in future generations society will change its ways but unfourtantly in our generation society is still stuck in stone age when it comes too values etc... :evil:



I disagree entirely....I've been picked on and singled out by other kids and teachers starting in early childhood when I first started school..and you're telling me 'don't worry about it, it won't effect you.'? yeah don't really see it, considering just how much my being female did not make things easier.


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Jamesy
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29 May 2012, 10:09 am

How about society just stop geneder discrimiation and stereotyping all together? the world would be a much better place if it did. same as racism in my opinion.



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29 May 2012, 10:25 am

Jamesy wrote:
How about society just stop geneder discrimiation and stereotyping all together? the world would be a much better place if it did. same as racism in my opinion.


Well yeah, though I don't see how you would get rid of every stereotype since a lot of females to fit a stereotype...but it should not be assumed all females fit that or should strive to. Same with the other gender. Though I am not quite sure how this ties into your original point since it seemed you were essentially saying female aspies by default have it easier than male aspies which seemed kind of discriminatory and stereotypical in itself...so I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit confused.


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29 May 2012, 10:47 am

I can see what the first post is trying to get at, but I don't think it actually works out like that. I mean, although men stand out from the sporty guys and such, women are the same.

Also, I know someone with dyslexia, and it affects her a LOT, she's been struggling with it for ages, so it's not always a small condition just because it's made out to be mild.


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nessa238
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29 May 2012, 10:55 am

Jamesy wrote:
Do you agree that in western society if your a man and have AS your A LOT more screwed than a women who is an aspie. I believe as well that a women with aspergers has a very similar quality of life too how an NT women does yet there is a HUGE gulf between a aspie man compared too an NT man when it comes too being successfull in life. I think in general its disgraceful the way society treats men and people should realise that sexism in general is WRONG.

If your a man with AS you are the opposite of what is expected from men in todays society in general and that is a DEADLY characteristic. If your a women with AS then there is no point even dwelling on it becasue it will not affect how far you get in life as much as it would effect someone with dyslexia or ADHD.


Your thoughts on this? Hopefully in future generations society will change its ways but unfourtantly in our generation society is still stuck in stone age when it comes too values etc... :evil:


I totally disagree

As a 46 year old female diagnosed with Aspergers I get nothing but rejection off most people in society - a clear message that I'm 'lesser' than them, not matter how stupid they happen to be, due to my inability to project a sufficiently 'normal'/NT image and persona. I'm given the message that I'm just plain weird and people want to generally avoid me!

No way does society reward me or treat me as normal - quite the opposite in fact.

I've often thought men have far more leaway for eccentricity/difference whereas women are expected to look and act like someone off the TV or they can forget it! Society is far harsher on women who don't conform to it's requirements than men in my opinion.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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29 May 2012, 11:13 am

Same here. I don't feel any more advantaged than the men just because I am a different gender. People expect women to be a certain way. A way I struggle being. I cannot live up to gender stereotypes most the time.



nessa238
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29 May 2012, 11:18 am

I hate gender stereotypes - I wish we were all one gender to be honest but then I expect humans would still find a way to be prejudiced about it!



Jamesy
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29 May 2012, 11:20 am

Don't females with aspergers have it easier in the dating world though?



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29 May 2012, 11:22 am

Jamesy wrote:
Don't females with aspergers have it easier in the dating world though?


I honestly think it depends on the female with aspergers and the male with aspergers, I don't think one by default has it easier in the dating world.


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29 May 2012, 11:25 am

I also hate gender stereotypes. I've felt male my whole life, yet the people in my life were expecting me to be more feminine. Women are expected to be small, petite and weak. They're supposed to prostitute themselves. They're supposed to be all squealy and bubbly. They're supposed to drool over male dancers. I didn't want any of that for me, so I've started to identify myself as Male at the age of 21.


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29 May 2012, 11:32 am

I also have no interest in the dating world. If you look like Mick Avory, give me a call. :wink:


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29 May 2012, 11:36 am

I think in general you're right in the sense that the worst cases I've seen were in men and I do believe that more men are diagnosed with it but for me it depends on how badly you have it. I've seen some pretty severe cases of Asperger's Syndrome on women as well, some more severe than men. It really depends.



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29 May 2012, 11:39 am

Jamesy wrote:
Don't females with aspergers have it easier in the dating world though?


From my own experience I think females might have it easier getting a first date but getting a successful, long-term relationship from that date is as hard as it is for aspie men in my opinion.

I don't like to do all the standard relationship stuff like going to pubs and out for meals - I can just about do the cinema on a confident day, so I am not going to be seen as good partner material by the majority of men as I don't want to do all the 'normal' outgoing social stuff.



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29 May 2012, 11:42 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Don't females with aspergers have it easier in the dating world though?


I honestly think it depends on the female with aspergers and the male with aspergers, I don't think one by default has it easier in the dating world.


I totally agree. Being attractive is the main aspect of getting success in the dating world in my opinion - the aspergers is far less relevant if you are attractive.



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29 May 2012, 11:53 am

The topic should be about attractive aspies v unattractive aspies, not male aspies v. female aspies. Unless the person has an absolutely repugnant personality. Being attractive doesn't help, there. But, it's just like everything else in life. It helps to be good looking and hurts to be ugly unless you can find the rare clique that does not care about how people look.