"talking" with NT family and getting points across

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ive had several difficulties explaining this Asperegers thing to my family cuz they dont understand my odd behavior cuz they try to rationalize that i should behave like them in situations (in ways they themselves don t even act) instead and just dont get why i dnt......Now ive written some things out for them and gave it to them and they understood better.
What i wonder is do you think that writing could be a better way to communicate then talking? Since talking around here usually leads to arguing and fighting, is it possible that maybe if both sides wrote it out we'd understand each other better? and if so, do you think its something that could be a common thing to help certin people communicate better? (i.e the ones with difficulties getting their point across verbally)

Writing things out can definitely help, especially if when trying to talk things get emotional. However, its also easy for people to miss-understand what you write so it does open up some additional possibilities if you aren't clear in your writing.

There are a good number of people on this board who are far more able to communicate by writing than by speech.

Writing can be a really great way to manage these kinds of emotional confrontations. Too often in conversations, when one person is talking, the other person is not actually listening to what is being said. They are listening with half of their attention while composing what they are going to say next. As a result, the response may not fit what the first person actually said, but what the listener expected them to say. Writing down the issue not only solves this problem, but forces the reader to digest the entire explanation without interruptions, which can often clear up misunderstandings, as well. I find it a useful tool when discussions of some issues become too heated.

writing is better where you will not be in the moment - but I personaly simply think normal people NTs - just don't think it's posible to dump all owr manner of thinking and exsistence into the normal way of thinking and to hope that they can comprehend it - the two worlds are to unalike. I know if I tell someone they just now are going to see me as what they think as a ret*d - that would be cool if you could have better luck

I wish you luck at this -- I have found it nearly impossible to get my NT wife and other NTs to understand. They just will not or can not use logic to come to see things in a manner that approaches understanding.

On more than one occasion I have gone to great length to explain myself and my sons behavior and still run into a wall on their part. Even when I think that I have gotten through to my wife - she will do or say something a few days later that shows that she is still expecting standard NT responses from us, and she is the one NT that is closest to me and my son.

Even NT professionals specializing in the spectrum have real problems dealing with us with any real understanding - I am often amazed and applaud at the fact that nearly all NT professionals view us (all of us) as disabled or "broken" in some way and that they need to "fix" us. At least a couple of the professionals I have had dealings with believe that my son and I desperately want to be "fixed" or made more "normal" (ie... more NT).

Why to you think that nearly all talk in this field is about curing us not about understanding us or finding was that both society and us learn to live together in a more equitable manner.

Just remember that understanding the why of someone's behavior is not the same thing as considering that behavior to be acceptable. It's like going to another country -- being a foreigner will only get a person so much leeway for mistakes, and being a jerk translates into any culture as being a jerk.

Writing things out could certainly help. Have you considered finding a therapist or doctor who understands, who might be able to help you and your family communicate better?

I think tony attwood is a really awesome person and truely whats people to understand us and he puts his whole self into understanding us but even he in my opinion doesn't. To me I have allways seen myself as an alien, outsider, invisable and in a totally other race then other humans. I concider myself mostly to be in a nother race. Some people understand animals well. But none can see with their thoughts or eyes. You have to realize you are seperate from NTs but you are part of us and we all understand one another - so were not alone

yeah, were working on that part because first my sister doesnt wanna go to therapy, then she does wanna go, then she doesnt, then she does...and often times when my mom is there, she may disregard what the therapist says at home :/
not always, but it happens alot......

i mean i usually try and look at people as people in general, and they many times still see me as a guy and expect me to do what they think a guy does, like if i wanna listen to music n play video games, they dont understand why im not outside playing and why i dont wanna be, i mean it seems like it almost goes a lil further.....or maybe its just that cuz im the only guy n its 3 women, that it further complicates communication because i already have problems with that whole reading body language and facial expression stuff, and women...lets face it, arent exactly the most truthful bunch, so its like trying to learn 2 languages at once to be able to speak 1