There's a first time for everything...

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I'm starting to believe the first time I do anything is pretty much unbearable!
like the first time I meet someone I just look blank, I don't know what to say, I just feel confused and really quiet, but then the second time I meet that person I can talk a little more to them, its like I've got used to them :S
The same as if I go to new place for the first time I start to feel anxious and confused, I have to take some time to get to know where I am, the second time I'm relaxed and fine...
I could just accept this is me and maybe there's no way round it but I can't keep on living on second chances, the first time is sometimes the only time, especially as I'm a musician
I find the first time I play somewhere I get really agitated, If I'm asked to play straight away I usually muck it up, people usually think I'm just nervous, but I never get nervous playing in front of an audience, I'm just nervous about my surroundings.

Do you think there's anything I can do about it? Or does anyone do the same thing?

I get what you are saying, I find it helps if things are not completely new. So if I am going to a new place I like to go with someone I am very familiar with - then initially I can just follow them as I gradually get used to the new place, takes the pressure off. Of vice versa, if meeting a new person it tends to be easier in a place I am very familiar with and comfortable in. Also with meeting new people, it is often easier to be introduced by someone else who can handle the initial conversation while I get a better understanding of the new person, and allowing me to build up my interaction with them. Dont know how well these tactics would fit in with your situation though, let me know if you find any others that work

My life has followed a similar pattern. I usually don't go into new places all that often and when I do, I feel awkward. The last time I changed jobs I was not very talkative for the first month as I had to get used to the new surroundings and people. However, now that I am used to it, I do fine. This seems to be especially true of new kinds of places. For example, I can go into just about any hardware store or junkyard and feel confident that I know what to do. Put me in a totally new type of place though like, say, a clothing store, and I feel awkward and want to leave. If I have to go back a second time though I am usually more comfortable.

As far as coping strategies go, I have few to give. Perhaps you could go to the venue during business hours the day before the interview? At least then you will have had a chance to get used to it.

The same things happen to me - pretty much whenever I'm encountering a new situation.

If there is a very familiar person with me that eliminates many problems - I can mimic them, their actions, words, etc., have them do all the talking, etc., which makes

A particularly bad situation for me is needing to find my way around a new area. This gets compounded by having some sort of task involving speaking to an unfamiliar person in this new area.



I'm a musician, too. I don't have any problems with playing whether me playing is a planned thing or spur-of-the-moment, wherever I am, or whoever is watching. But my social strangeness can get in the way of my music when first meeting someone. This week I jammed with a group of people I've never jammed with before. It went great musically, but I barely spoke the whole time. Still, I suppose how much I spoke doesn't matter much because they all want to jam more.

But in other situations where I'm just trying to get contacts or gigs or things like that, my poor social skills can make things difficult, and it's worse in unfamiliar situations or when first meeting people.

[/quote] I'm a musician, too. I don't have any problems with playing whether me playing is a planned thing or spur-of-the-moment, wherever I am, or whoever is watching. But my social strangeness can get in the way of my music when first meeting someone. This week I jammed with a group of people I've never jammed with before. It went great musically, but I barely spoke the whole time. Still, I suppose how much I spoke doesn't matter much because they all want to jam more.

But in other situations where I'm just trying to get contacts or gigs or things like that, my poor social skills can make things difficult, and it's worse in unfamiliar situations or when first meeting people.[/quote]

Yeh with the music part, I'm absolutely fine when it comes to playing my songs, I manage to get up wherever I am and play/ sing my song word for word, without messing it up at all. Its the talking part, as in whenever a musician gets up in front of the
audience they have to introduce themselves/talk to them/ involve them in the set... But I find that really difficult (especially in a new place) I just never know what to say.
once I tried memorising a kind of speech in my head before hand, I thought if I could say that then I'd be fine, but I tried it out in a new place and as soon as I got up on stage my words all got jumbled up and I ended up making an idiot out of myself...

I rarely ever speak on stage (to the audience, that is). In all the bands I'm in, others do that. I'm not sure if I'd mess it up, but it's felt too much like I would for me to even try it, beyond small small things like one word statements or song titles, since I just have to say "this is/that was ______ (song title)". Often the only thing that makes it out is the song title.

When busking, it's really bad - people want to talk to me a lot but I have trouble talking with them. To try to get people not to talk to me, I will usually play my set without stopping between songs (which is also a good way to keep a crowd entertained and building - one of my bands does this at most shows, and another does them in sets of 3 - 3 songs back to back with no pause). Another thing I usually do is busk with another person (usually a bandmate) and they'll do the talking.