Squandered Opportunities

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As life goes on, does anyone else get this feeling that they've passed up several "opportunities" given to them by others? I look back at the past decade and I can think of several I've let through my fingers, often for tenuous reasons. I had the opportunity to go to college, the opportunity to learn a trade (architecture), the opportunity to do so many things.... yet the conditions of my mind prevented me from exploring these opportunities in a steady way. It seems my career prospects have gotten worse with time. Despite a strong start when I was 18, the last job I had at 26, was in retail - and the people there were by far the most petty and horrendous. It's only gone downhill. It sucks, and it's disheartening.

I think it's a common phenomenon for those of us with neurological/social differences to feel guilty about having missed such opportunities. I think about this a lot lately.

I feel your pain. I am now stuck somewhere work wise where I am not happy and I believe that to be down to missed opportunities. I wanted to join the forces initially but, owing to medical reasons, I was rejected and told it would be unlikely I would ever be accepted despite how physically fit I was. So I decided to do a degree in Biology as I have always enjoyed this subject. However, I feel that the career prospects I have been dealt haven't been the best and feel my talents are being wasted. Also, with te job market being the way it is, there are currently not many real opportunites out there for me to shine. In addition to this, I work with and have worked with people who have superiority complexes and, because I look young for my age, I get spoken down to and blocked from advancing as far as I would like. It has reached a point where I regret taking science altogether and wished that I had pursued a music or art career instead as, although I may not have earned as much money, I would have felt happier.

Yes and it would take too long to spell out here. To summarize: I let a bunch of petty bullies knock me off my path, which was destined for greatness. I had a childhood dream that was ridiculed mercilessly and looking back it would not only feasible but was years ahead of its time. Oh well. I decided recently to stop living in the past and just be the best I can be right here, right now.

...

I have a tendency to romanticize my past by thinking that I missed opportunities, but when I'm honest with myself I admit that, due to the limitations caused by my AS, I would've never succeeded on those paths either. So no regrets here. I did the best I could considering my circumstances. I only think that if I'd known I had NLVD, I would've remained in the academic field at all costs, because that's the realm I have best chances in (research and writing). I didn't know I'd be irremediably bad at anything else.

I've made so many mistakes and burned so many bridges that I don't even want to contemplate it.
However, I have had this disorder all my life, so my past is something I probably couldn't have changed without the meds and therapy I have now.

I do think I may have missed some opportunities but I also feel cheated out of things that I may not have noticed due to my AS and milestone accomplishments that my NT peers got to experience and now is too late for me to experience-and when I try to now I get hurt in various ways because there are still many things I do not understand.

Even NTs experience regrets and think of opportunities lost. However, if you're extra bullied and given the short end of the stick because others don't understand you and what you need or can't handle, I think it might be worse. On the other hand, there's also something to be said for being realistic about what you really could've accomplished, as Moondust has done. I've got some of both those feelings, plus some reconciliation with the past and ability to live for today and the future that's still possible for me.

It's the guilt imposed upon us that's the real problem. We're prone to it because we're taught to be. It's that whole thing about autistic behavior being bad behavior. How is feeling guilty about something supposed to make up for it? How is being punished by guilt supposed to make us undo things we've done or do things we never did? How is it supposed to improve our functionality and, as a result, our future prospects? Only developing a healthy attitude and doing what we can with what we have, as many of us are learning to do, will truly help us. The guilt and shame others have taught us we should feel can only drag us further down. People who push it at us are only being counterproductive. Either their eyes are closed to that fact or they just enjoy seeing others suffer for the wrongs they perceive them as having committed. There's plenty of both out there. Don't let people like that tell you what to think or how to feel about yourself. They're simply wrong.

ASD is not a crime. You do not need to stand convicted. You do not need to punish yourself or be punished by others.

I have burned so many bridges, made so many poor choices, and passed way to many opportunities by. I know exacly how you feel. I try not to dwell on it for too long because, logically, I know I couldn't have done it any better or differently since I didn't have the right tools. Still, that doesn't make it all better now does it?

I hate myself for not going to high school.
I also quit my first job, which was something I loved, because I had been kicked out of where I was living and did not want to move in with strangers, so had to leave that town and come back home. It's a big regret because I was doing semi-well there. I don't miss psychotic customers, though, hah.

But mostly I regret not going to high school when I had the opportunity. But there is only so much torment one person can take, and I've heard that high school bullying can be even more severe.

personally i dont really waste time, because its not really helping, its easy easier to look back and wonder what if and what if..

But if you did something else that wouldn be you. Its easier to just accept and move on imo. We gotta accept the good and the bad choices.

sure there is a lot of things i wish i could change or do differently, but thats just not gonna happen. Just have to live with it, for better or worse.

Hehe, one comes to mind when I was 16-17yo, a girl asked me while holding her foot up between my legs while we sat on my sofa; "What muscle is this?", I answered a matter-of-factly; "It's not a muscle, it's organ tissue". She looked at me like I were born yesterday, and in retrospect, I don't blame her. That was the end of that conversation, and nothing happened of course, cause I didn't take the hint.

Edit: I felt I should mention this, in Norway it's legal to have sex at 16. Just mentioning it to prevent any random evil thoughts about me.