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rebbieh
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19 Jul 2012, 1:51 am

Not sure this is the right place to post this but yeah, due to my social issues, sensory issues, my anxiety and what I think is depression I haven't even been able to work 20 hours a week this past year. I bet the people who hired me where I work now (summer job) regret they did.

Both yesterday and today I called in sick even though I'm not really physically sick/ill. I mean, I'm not feeling well at all due to my anxiety and depression but I feel like such a pathetic excuse for a human being. I feel like a liar, which makes me feel even more anxious now. I'm also worried that people at work might know I'm not physically sick/ill and that next time I work (tomorrow), they'll look at me in some sort of bad and judging way.

Do I really have to feel this bad for staying home from work when being anxious and/or depressed? Just want your opinions or I'll overthink this for the rest of the day. At least.



puddingmouse
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19 Jul 2012, 2:06 am

rebbieh wrote:

Do I really have to feel this bad for staying home from work when being anxious and/or depressed? Just want your opinions or I'll overthink this for the rest of the day. At least.


Depression and anxiety are real illnesses. You don't have to feel bad for taking time off for them. I've been there myself, and I couldn't help but feel guilty. Tell yourself, that you are really unwell. If you were well, you would go into work because you are too conscientious to take days off, otherwise. You are a conscientious person and you needn't worry.


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19 Jul 2012, 2:14 am

I don't blame you. I've done the same thing many times, taking what I called "Mental Health Days".

Unfortunately, your employer may be less sympathetic. If it's a summer job, you might be looking at taking some points, demerits, or a write up if you don't have some doctor's excuse for the missed days.

Hope it goes well for you and you can face the rest of the week.



rebbieh
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19 Jul 2012, 2:19 am

puddingmouse wrote:
Depression and anxiety are real illnesses. You don't have to feel bad for taking time off for them. I've been there myself, and I couldn't help but feel guilty. Tell yourself, that you are really unwell. If you were well, you would go into work because you are too conscientious to take days off, otherwise. You are a conscientious person and you needn't worry.


So I don't have to feel bad for lying about being physically ill? I get such a bad conscience.

PixelPony wrote:
I don't blame you. I've done the same thing many times, taking what I called "Mental Health Days".

Unfortunately, your employer may be less sympathetic. If it's a summer job, you might be looking at taking some points, demerits, or a write up if you don't have some doctor's excuse for the missed days.

Hope it goes well for you and you can face the rest of the week.


I honestly don't care if they tell me I can never work there again. Or at least that's the way I feel now. I just don't want to disappoint people, including my employer. I don't like being a disappointment.



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19 Jul 2012, 2:24 am

I have always refused to call in sick no matter how I am feeling unless I am truly sick like a fever or the flu or a very bad cold I get a very bad headache when I stand or sit. To me it's always a sign of weakness if I were to let depression get in the way or stress or anything and I have struggled at work through stress. One time I was sent home by my boss at one of my old jobs because I was so upset about my dog I had. I came to work so upset and was crying.


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rebbieh
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19 Jul 2012, 2:26 am

League_Girl wrote:
I have always refused to call in sick no matter how I am feeling unless I am truly sick like a fever or the flu or a very bad cold I get a very bad headache when I stand or sit. To me it's always a sign of weakness if I were to let depression get in the way or stress or anything and I have struggled at work through stress. One time I was sent home by my boss at one of my old jobs because I was so upset about my dog I had. I came to work so upset and was crying.


I wish I was that strong.



puddingmouse
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19 Jul 2012, 2:29 am

rebbieh wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I have always refused to call in sick no matter how I am feeling unless I am truly sick like a fever or the flu or a very bad cold I get a very bad headache when I stand or sit. To me it's always a sign of weakness if I were to let depression get in the way or stress or anything and I have struggled at work through stress. One time I was sent home by my boss at one of my old jobs because I was so upset about my dog I had. I came to work so upset and was crying.


I wish I was that strong.


Define strength.


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rebbieh
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19 Jul 2012, 2:33 am

puddingmouse wrote:
rebbieh wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I have always refused to call in sick no matter how I am feeling unless I am truly sick like a fever or the flu or a very bad cold I get a very bad headache when I stand or sit. To me it's always a sign of weakness if I were to let depression get in the way or stress or anything and I have struggled at work through stress. One time I was sent home by my boss at one of my old jobs because I was so upset about my dog I had. I came to work so upset and was crying.


I wish I was that strong.


Define strength.


Was that rhetorical?



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19 Jul 2012, 2:47 am

^Yes

Strength to me is the ability to cope with a given situation. Staying off work is as much of a coping strategy, imo. Going into work when not well will mean you put in a suboptimal performance and maybe prolong your problem. Putting your own health first is a sign of strength. Others will disagree. What I wanted to show was that in emotional terms, strength is subjective.


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Joe90
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19 Jul 2012, 3:21 am

This is why I don't want to work full time (not sure if you do or not but I'm just saying). It's not due to laziness of any kind. It's due to being that much more prone to depression, anxiety and stress more than the average person, and I sometimes need time to myself so I can do things like gentle exercise to help calm my nerves. If I worked 8 hours a day for 5 or 6 days, I will probably ending up phoning up at least once a week saying I'm ill, which won't look very impressing. I prefer to work 2 or 3 full days a week, then if I do wake up feeling depressed or anxious, I can think, ''well at least I've got tomorrow off'' or ''I've only got today and tomorrow, then the rest of the week off.''

Having more freedom is far more important to me than getting more money. I'm not hard up anyway, and I am good at saving my money.


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rebbieh
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19 Jul 2012, 3:35 am

puddingmouse wrote:
Strength to me is the ability to cope with a given situation. Staying off work is as much of a coping strategy, imo. Going into work when not well will mean you put in a suboptimal performance and maybe prolong your problem. Putting your own health first is a sign of strength. Others will disagree. What I wanted to show was that in emotional terms, strength is subjective.


You're probably right. If I don't put my own mental health first I might never get well.

Joe90 wrote:
This is why I don't want to work full time (not sure if you do or not but I'm just saying). It's not due to laziness of any kind. It's due to being that much more prone to depression, anxiety and stress more than the average person, and I sometimes need time to myself so I can do things like gentle exercise to help calm my nerves. If I worked 8 hours a day for 5 or 6 days, I will probably ending up phoning up at least once a week saying I'm ill, which won't look very impressing. I prefer to work 2 or 3 full days a week, then if I do wake up feeling depressed or anxious, I can think, ''well at least I've got tomorrow off'' or ''I've only got today and tomorrow, then the rest of the week off.''

Having more freedom is far more important to me than getting more money. I'm not hard up anyway, and I am good at saving my money.


I definitely agree.

The fact that I'm also "prone to depression, anxiety and stress more than the average person" also makes me worried about going off to university this fall. Not sure how I'll be able to handle all the stress, my high standards, all the anxiety, depression and on top of that trying to meet new people and make friends (which is incredibly difficult). You can't really call in sick when studying. You have to study or you'll fail. Scares me. Do you know what I mean?



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19 Jul 2012, 5:33 am

i know how you feel. its not your fault. its just one of those unfortunate situations. it is a symptom of an inappropriate occupation and/or shituation



kirayng
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19 Jul 2012, 6:27 am

Hey, at least you're starting uni AWARE of your issues! :) :) :) This will help a lot in addressing what comes up.

Also I just had a day at work where I didn't show up at all, so you're strong for calling in and excusing yourself.



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19 Jul 2012, 8:41 am

the worst part about feeling guilty for being stressed and taking time off to remedy that is that it in itself becomes another stress factor, its a neverending cycle of stress that takes some real doing to get out of.


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19 Jul 2012, 8:44 am

Most everyone does that, NT or not. Since "mental health days" are not conventionally appropriate to mention and could be risky, people give a physical excuse. Also, depression / anxiety express themselves in physical symptoms, that's why you don't feel up to working, so it's not a lie. Furthermore, many people take a sick day off when someone upsets them and they're too angry or sad to be seen in public. Personally, I think if truth were told, we'd be surprised to know that the massive real reason for sick days is more mood than physical ailment.


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19 Jul 2012, 8:47 am

League_Girl wrote:
I have always refused to call in sick no matter how I am feeling unless I am truly sick like a fever or the flu or a very bad cold I get a very bad headache when I stand or sit. To me it's always a sign of weakness if I were to let depression get in the way or stress or anything and I have struggled at work through stress. One time I was sent home by my boss at one of my old jobs because I was so upset about my dog I had. I came to work so upset and was crying.


To me it depends on what kind of job you have. I come to work depressed nearly every day because I don't have a lot of contact with others at my job and can sit in here and mope all day if I want to. If I had a job where I had to deal with people all day long, I'd have to call in. Actually, I come to work to escape from stress at home.