Talking too much or not enough

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Let me apologize and explain.

I was discussing my history with someone I met after I had graduated from university, had and lost a career level job, had and lost a service level job, had and lost a job opportunity, and then failed to even get any more job interviews. I tried to explain to them that I never learned how to "work in groups", that I even have selective mutism that detrimentally affects my ability to work with others.

He said that was impossible. I had to have been able to speak and work with others in order to pass and graduate from university. He then demanded that I speak to him (I was signing; my sister was interpreting) to prove I could speak. He was rude and invalidating.
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okay, anyone can label anything as rude.

based on your description alone, i too would've labelled him as rude.

however, your description is not an objective, absolute representation of what happened. maybe he would've phrased the situation differently. maybe a neutral third party would've phrased and viewed the situation differently.

likewise, it does not matter what i think, say, or feel. apparrently nobody cares. while precious lil "people" act like every time they have a thought or emotion, it's like the latest greatest scientific invention.

what was the context of your interaction with him? was he a career counselor? what function did he serve in your job search?

if you have a clinical diagnosis for Selective Mutism (or anything of that sort), disclose it to the social service agencies that you attend.

if you do not have a diagnosis for selective mutism, get a diagnosis.

Yep. I have a diagnosis of selective mutism; he was a doctor with my medical file, so he knew I had a diagnosis of selective mutism; but he chose to disbelieve it because "that was impossible". The rude part was demanding that a person who is hard of hearing, mute, and uses sign language (all in the medical file), speak instead.

This was during a conversation trying to "prove" to the guy that I was autistic. Because he thought I could not be autistic; if I was, someone would have diagnosed me at a younger age. And he thought I could not be selectively mute or have difficulty interacting socially; if I was, I never would have been able to graduate high school let alone university.

The funny thing was, he was not an autism specialist, and I was not there to discuss my autism diagnosis. It just came up when we discussed my medical history. I do not know why he thought I needed to defend my diagnosis to him.

I am sorry if anyone made you feel that way. I hope you do not stop on account of them. I have been very interested in reading your posts, shortfatbalduglyman.

When Im with people who I know I cant stop yapin about stuff they probably dont really care about.When someone new joins the party I turn into a mute.The art of conversation is something I never learned,Im trying now to be more inclusive to strangers,but after an hour of this I feel exhausted.

Yep. I have a diagnosis of selective mutism; he was a doctor with my medical file, so he knew I had a diagnosis of selective mutism; but he chose to disbelieve it because "that was impossible". The rude part was demanding that a person who is hard of hearing, mute, and uses sign language (all in the medical file), speak instead.

This was during a conversation trying to "prove" to the guy that I was autistic. Because he thought I could not be autistic; if I was, someone would have diagnosed me at a younger age. And he thought I could not be selectively mute or have difficulty interacting socially; if I was, I never would have been able to graduate high school let alone university.

The funny thing was, he was not an autism specialist, and I was not there to discuss my autism diagnosis. It just came up when we discussed my medical history. I do not know why he thought I needed to defend my diagnosis to him.
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what kind of doctor was he, a medical doctor?

how long ago can this happen?

quite frankly, i would propose getting another doctor. does your insurance allow you to do so?

if not, write a letter of complaint to his supervisor.

otherwise, look him up on Rate My Doctors, and write him a review.

https://www.ratemds.com/

did he provide the professional services you were there for?

you have to choose when to be practical and when to be ideal. it's a balance.

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since you have your diagnosis/diagnoses, you are golden. you do not need to "prove" to anyone, not even a medical doctor, that you have that diagnosis/condition. or any other condition.

having said that, based on your posts alone, it does not specify what school you went to, what you majored in, or what testing accommodations you got. as a stranger on the Internet, that has no job skills, much less a medical degree, that has no authority over anyone in the world, of any kind, i also find it hard to imagine, how you could have finished university with Selective Mutism.

when i went to school (ucsd, structural engineering flunked out at 5th year. got BA in cognitive science), there was a lot of groupwork. even for classes with about 200 students. math classes did not have groupwork. at least, not for the lower division math classes. but physics classes had labs. you had to do the work with a partner. (although maybe you could've done it alone.) and in Structural Engineering 1, 2, 103, 120. cognitive science 101c, 101b. and et cetera. a lot of group work. so i could not, thus, imagine getting through university without groupwork. unless, of course, you did all the groupwork by yourself. or you had a lot of testing accommodations.

but there is no law that says that you have to explain it to me. nor is there any other good reason why you have to tell me.

Couple years ago, an opthamologist and my primary care physician referred me to a neurologist for an MRI for vision problems they could not diagnose. After arguing with him to focus on the real reason for my visit, he finally did set an MRI appointment.

The MRI results were unclear (no signs of anything serious, but also no answers either). The results were enough to stop my doctors from worrying, and I did not want to deal with him anymore, so I never did return for the follow up testing.

I went to the University of Michigan and graduated with a Bachelor of Art's degree in English Literature and Language (though I tried Computer Science and Architecture majors before that).

I had no official accommodations (though my sister and brother helped me with classes that they were taking / had taken).

My experience of classes was different than what you described.
1. For most classes, all I had to do was listen in lectures, hand in my homework, and take the tests.
2. For the few times I had "group work", I was never the leader or presenter, so I just "shut up" and followed other students' instructions. I did all the research for the assignment and let the other student(s) decide what we needed for the presentation.
3. For the few classes I had to "speak" in class, it was a sign language class so we just signed.