Very attached to someone and jelousy

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I'm not sure if this has anything to do with aspergers or not..probly doesn't. Anyway 2 yrs ago my mom met this guy she began to date for about a year. And during this yr i got close to him and very attached (not romantically) and he promised alot of stuff to me and my family and saying that we were gonna do fun stuff together and all be a family someday..And i was happy cus i felt like i was goin to have a dad to do stuff with and i even told him that. But a little while down the road toward the end of summer into fall he started seein this other lady instead of my mom and my mom was very hurt by this and he told her alot of lies and i called him every now and then and he always said he still wants to be friends with us but became more and more distant and moved in with this lady..and everynow and then i call him on the phone hopin he will stop living with her and hoping he will be how he was when he was seein my mom. And ever since that happened i feel very very sad and depressed. I have my up times tho but the sad moments only happens when i talk to him on the phone. I liked him cus he was nice to me and didnt make me feel stupid and promised all these things.However now he is soo different he works ALL the time and i think he just wants me to leave him alone. I always have hope that maybe he will come back. And on top of all that i have times when i am very jelous when i think if he marries the lady he lives with and has niece and nephews and does all the stuff with them that he promised me and that they will be his new kids in his life and i will be forgotten.. Whenever i think about that i feel extremly sad..Now incase u are wondering i am not like other girls my age infact i see myself as a little girl and i know a few people are like that here. So it might seem odd to alot of u but i usually color him pictures and things like. Only cus i dont have a problem with how i am. I just always see him as my dad. Can anyone else relate to this with being very attached and very jelous over something?
And holding on to something for a long time?
I just wish it would go away and i could accept things how they are.

It takes me a very long time to adjust to sudden or unexpected changes like that. Ultimately, for me all things like that always hurt at least a bit when I think about them; but over time, after they happen, the times I think about it all naturally decrease in frequency and level of pain felt.

Perhaps you can look at the situation a bit differently by asking yourself a couple of quesitons - is it him that you're missing, or is it the idea of how great he could (and promised he would) be?

You mentioned that he promised you a lot of stuff - did he ever follow through with it? Was he ever the perfect dad that you'd hoped for? Or was it all just promises?

Now let's say you rang him up tomorrow and he said "hey, you're right, I don't want to live with this lady anymore - I want to live with you guys and we'll be one big happy family." Would you a) believe him and b) be sure he wouldn't just leave your mother and you again later down the track?

Once you can answer these questions with complete honesty, I think it'll be a little easier for you to move on.

hello kitty
jealousy is not nice

Hi there,

I can understand your feelings very well and I am sorry for your loss. I hope you can cope that soon.
An aquaintance of mine which I have met recently got divorced. She has three kids. Her ex husband is psychiatrist at an hospital here. He has a very good reputation. He is the father of only one of her kids. She has also two girls (10 and 8 ) who now lost the second time the person they called dad and a little boy at the age of 2 who lost his father as well. So you see even a psychiatrist who knows about attachment and all these stuff can't even stand to their promises. He left and just doesn't care.

I hope your mum meets someone who does not only promises a lot. I really hope they will show you there are nice guys out there too.
Don't feel bad for your jealousy. It is a normal emotion and it's okay to feel that way. Don't beg them to come back. I don't want to judge. You maybe don't know the whole reasons and stuff. Sometimes things doesn't work out. I wish you the very best.
Don't give up. You will learn to get over this by time.

Thanks everyone for the advice and support i appreciate it