Do you want to have children?
Yes and no. I wouldn't mind a child, but I'm always afraid it might have Autism, AS, Mental Retardation, Down's Syndrome, ADHD, or anything else like that, because I would not be able to cope with all that. I'm shamed enough as it is, without having a child who will be shamed too. That would just break my heart for the child. So I really don't want to bring a child into this world who will also suffer with the same curse that I'm doomed to suffer with all of my life, and there's more chance that my child would be unhappy and lonely through school, or even worse, I might have to send it to a special school, and then all my friends and cousins will probably have normal children who will just go to mainstream school and able to make friends and get on, and their parents will just have all the normal problems what most parents have with their kids, no matter how intense they are. But the problems a child with disabilities bring on are more unique, especially when they're like me; ''too 'normal' to be supported by disability support team, not 'normal' enough to take part in mainstream society without support''. And my mum feels very alone with coping with me, even though I'm an adult, she's never going to stop worrying about me, and she just wants me to be happy, but that is not possible. I will always be shy and afraid of my own shadow and unable to speak up in group conversations, and I feel I am getting worse with shyness as I've gotten older, and I'm now worrying what this will mean once I finally get into employment, and later on in life. With having a mum who secretly wishes I could be happier and more confident, and myself feeling ashamed that I'm not as normal as the rest, it wouldn't be very ideal to have a child who has a 50 percent chance of having AS and all. And I'm sorry, but I would not be able to handle a severely Autistic child, they are very different, you really don't know what to expect from a child with Autism, you can never bond with them or really know how they think or feel, and sooner or later they become too much to cope with and you have to just put them in a care home anyway. I do not want to deal with that. Some people are up for it, but I'm not. I find it hard to cope with myself, let alone a child with the same problem too (or Autism, which is worse).
And anyway - even if my child was born NT, being brought up by a mum with poor self-esteem, and a dad who will probably be shy (I doubt a confident, outgoing man is going to want someone like me when there are plenty of outgoing girls that are prettier than me out there), there's not much chance that the NT child is going to be happy either, it would probably grow up like a very depressed, insecure person. My brother has, and he's NT who was brought up with an Aspie sister and a mum with low self-esteem and prone to depression. So, nah, I'm not going to risk bringing a child into the world. And knowing my luck, my husband would probably leave me with the troubled child anyway, because if that's now common among NTs to split up as soon as they have children, then it's definately going to happen to me.
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Female
Last edited by Joe90 on 11 Aug 2012, 10:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
ReneDescartes
Sea Gull
Joined: 31 Jul 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 232
Location: Between France and Kuwait
I wouldn't want any children, unless my future girlfriend really wants children.
I have enough of my own problems to cope with. I don't want the additional problems that usually comes with children.
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I think therefore I am.
Therefore, if I don't think, I am not.
Thus, Isabllea Swan never existed.
Last edited by ReneDescartes on 11 Aug 2012, 10:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
Another thing is - I would like a baby, but it's the viruses they get that will be my worse nightmare, and all small kids pick up tummy bugs and things like that because it's nature's way of building up an immune system while they're young. But sometimes they can pick up that norovirus that is very easy to pass on, even if you're healthy and immune to tummy bugs, and you can't really avoid these things when you have a child. When children are ill, they want their mum there (I know I did, which is normal), and because I have an intense fear of being sick (it is a real intense FEAR, not just a genuine fear), and you know how Aspies react to their fears and anxieties; not very well. So I'd probably be screaming my head off when the child is sick, either making my child become afraid of me, or become as bad as me.
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Female
Hell NO
I absolutely don't want to spread and multiply my cursed, sick genes
What can I give to future generations?
- autism
- allergies (I don't have them, buy they are common in my family)
- myopia
- probably diabetes (from my father)
- probably problems with joints
And one more thing:
I can't stand children presence - they are too loud, too unpredictable, unhygienic and they don't know nothing about "impassable personal space".
So, NO, NO, NO and one more NO - NO kids in my life!
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Scio me nihil scire
I know that I know nothing
I don't think it's a good plan for me to have children so I answered that I don't want them. Reasons in no particular order: I'm not particularly good at looking after myself so having to look after a little person full time would be too much for me; loud noises and unpredictability cause me to have meltdowns - children are loud and unpredictable; I don't want to sentence another individual to perhaps genetically inherit my problems and have to deal with the same crap I did.
zxy8
Velociraptor
Joined: 2 Aug 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 484
Location: Perth, Western Australia, Australia
I would like to have children, after I get married in 18 months time.
Like Joe90 I worry that my child will be on the spectrum but more severe than I am, and I worry about how well I would cope. I worry about how well I would cope with any child. I know this seems insane, and that's why I have never told anyone this, but I would secretly be delighted to have a child with Down Syndrome because I know the likelihood of DS and ASDtogether is slim. I don't know how I would cope with a child that was nonverbal and wouldn't let me touch them, and I am not sure that I am a strong enough person to be 'pushy' and make sure they got all the services they would need. When I'm not worrying about these things I am worrying about whether I will be able to have children at all!
I've always wanted children, but finding out about my AS has shaken my confidence a little. I am going to just try and trust in God, and do my best for whatever child I have, if I am lucky enough to have one.
At this point in my life, no. For one thing I wouldn't have the income to support a child. Also, I find aspects of looking after myself to be hard at times never mind a little one. That along with my other issues, it simply would not be a good idea and I feel it would be irresponsible of me to have a child while recognizing these things.
I voted for the 3rd option. Sometime in the future I'd like to have children, or at least one. I think one has to reach a certain emotional maturity level before thinking of having a child. For many years I was perfectly happy not thinking about this matter, but lately I realized it would add a certain positive feeling to my life, to have someone I could care for, and see it growing up. Knowing so much about how to raise a child who is not "normal", being able to realize and appreciate their uniqueness, their differences, is a huge advantage in comparison to our parents.
I would be immeasurably happy to have a child with only a touch of ASD, but I'd accept whatever child nature whould provide, be it a nonverbal autistic.
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Another non-English speaking - DX'd at age 38
"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam." (Hannibal) - Latin for "I'll either find a way or make one."
Never ever please.
I can't forsee a time when I can take care of myself, let alone have another person be completely dependent on me. Plus, I worry that if I did have a biological child I would screw it up a) with my genes (particularly on an epigenetic) and b) because I was so poorly parented I would screw them up by having no idea how to appropriately parent. I know the things not to do, but I have no idea what you should do. I worry that a child I adopted I would screw up because of b).
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