What happens when someone else panics?

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Sarthos
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31 Aug 2012, 3:02 pm

Can you take that at all or not? There's lots of stuff on here about panics attacks occurring to people, but not about how you react to other people panicking. Reason I ask is because my dad seems to have some sort of panic or anxiety disorder which he won't ever do anything about (unless he started having numerous heart attacks from it or something major, but even then it's unlikely). When he panics, I sorta freeze. It stresses me to no end trying to actually do whatever needs to be done while someone's panicking. Like the other day; my brother, my dad, and I were on a boat going fishing. At one point we pulled up anchor while close to a bridge. The current starts to pull us towards the bridge (really shallow, concrete, could have destroyed the boat if we hit it hard). Anyway, as we're getting close to it so my brother can pull his line out of some weeds, my brother grabs the oar to slow us down or to push off against the bridge and of course he's not looking and manages to get it tangled in someone's fishing line. My dad starts panicking, "We're gonna crash, the boat's gonna get destroyed, grab this, do that, etc etc etc". I sorta forget the details now (even though it was just on Monday) but for some reason I end up with the oar and he's all like "get the line off of it!!" and stuff and I'm having trouble getting it done now, and somehow the oar ends up in the lake (luckily it floats). In the end, once all is said and done, I end up snapping at him cause I can't stand the panicking. Any similar reactions here where someone else panicking is just too much for you?



AlreadyAgain
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31 Aug 2012, 3:08 pm

I"m not sure as I don't come across people who panic very often. I know that when people get over emotional in any way, I sort of shut down. I don't know what to do or say so I kind of go board straight and look down and panic a bit in my head over what I'm supposed to be doing at that moment. I imagine I would react the same way if someone were to panic around me.



Tiranasta
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31 Aug 2012, 3:12 pm

It has no influence on my emotional state. Why would it?



Sarthos
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31 Aug 2012, 3:34 pm

Well, do social situations sometimes cause you to "shut down" when there are too many people/too many things going on? I figured one person with too much going could cause the same effect



chris5000
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31 Aug 2012, 3:38 pm

I tend to be indifferent so I try just not to look so awkward, I will get snappy if someone gets on my back though.



Joe90
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31 Aug 2012, 4:01 pm

When other people panic at the things I would panic at (which is rare but can happen), I then become all calm, as though the other person's doing all the panicking for me. Like the other day I got a letter through the post from the jobcentre, stating something that would normally weep with anxiety, but my mum then started panicking, stamping her feet, throwing things across the room, slamming doors, swearing, and all those sorts of things what I would normally do, and all the while I just stood there, just frowning and saying, ''hmm, there must be a misunderstanding....maybe we should just ring them up and sort it out.'' But my mum wouldn't have it. Normally I would be panicking about this, and my mum would be the one standing there calmly trying to find an easy solution, but because my mum suddenly got into a panic (probably caused by PMT or something), I was more able to stand and be mature about it. We did ring up and everything was OK, so there was no more panicking. But then my mum's sister rang up for a chat, and my mum was like, ''oh, Jo was in a massive stress because we got this unexpected letter from the jobcentre saying....'' and I just stood there like, ''what? I think you were the one who was in a massive stress this time!'', but I didn't say anything because she probably didn't want others to know she was in a state.


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SickInDaHead
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31 Aug 2012, 7:03 pm

Panic is like weakness to me for some reason. When someone panics, they get written off. If I have to haul them along, like in a river crossing for example, they get a palm to the temple to shut them up/calm them down. (learned that from a lifeguard).



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31 Aug 2012, 9:15 pm

Joe90 wrote:
When other people panic at the things I would panic at (which is rare but can happen), I then become all calm, as though the other person's doing all the panicking for me.


I get a bit like that too. I can usually be rock solid if someone is panicking and depending on me.

Then again, "normal" people and I panic over completely different stuff as well. Real danger makes me focused and calm and ready to react. Social hazards are when I panic. About everyone else I know is the other way around.


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cozysweater
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31 Aug 2012, 9:33 pm

PixelPony wrote:
Then again, "normal" people and I panic over completely different stuff as well. Real danger makes me focused and calm and ready to react. Social hazards are when I panic. About everyone else I know is the other way around.


^^^This is me too. In real danger I get very level headed and focused and calming to other people, but then I'll shut down and procrastinate for months if I have to actually go to the DMV to renew my license (which might be tedious but is in no way dangerous)
My mother is mentally ill so I've had a lot of practice being soothing and calm while someone else is in a complete meltdown. It's a learned skill but I find it often comes in handy. I don't know if it's fortunate or unfortunate but having a parent who wasn't able to be a calming influence has taught me to be self-reliant even in the midst of my own panic.



OliveOilMom
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31 Aug 2012, 10:11 pm

In situations where most people panic, I'm calm as can be and already figuring out how to handle it. I'm usually the only one remaining calm and with a plan so I tend to take charge in those situations.

Take me for a drive on the freeway though and I'll be a complete mess. I won't be able to handle it. I panic really bad when in a car with someone else driving. If somebody in my family is 20 minutes late coming home or if I can't get in touch with them by phone, I freak out. I'm sure that something horrible has happened.

However, if I look out the window and see a tornado, or if I'm somewhere and somebody pulls out a gun, or I'm in a car wreck or see one, I'm calm as can be.

I think my wiring is backwards lol


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CyborgUprising
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01 Sep 2012, 12:30 am

I feel awkward when someone panics. I don't know what to do or say to the person, so I end up having to tune them out.



lyricalillusions
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01 Sep 2012, 2:48 am

I've never been in that situation before because I'm usually the one who is panicking. But based on my reactions to when others show strong emotions, it would either terrify me and send me into a panic myself, or it wouldn't affect me at all. I'm thinking that it wouldn't affect me at all unless I knew the person.


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Misery
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01 Sep 2012, 2:51 am

I have a friend who panics easily. Usually, I end up just complaining or yelling at him about it. For some reason, it's just really annoying....



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01 Sep 2012, 3:20 am

It would depend on the situation. Usually, I take control of the situation, gather relevant data, logically deduce what is wrong and then look at all possible courses of action. After that, I determine the best one and make everyone in the situation do what I have determined to be the best choice.

Recently I had to do this with my family. My parents had their house flooded in a storm and had no flood insurance. My mom wanted to strip the carpet as fast as possible while my borderline aspie step dad wanted to try and suck all of the water out. I took charge and forced him to see that the carpet had to come out and it had to happen quickly or else the house would have been ruined by black mold. So, we went to work gutting the house and throwing all of the carpet outside. The house was saved and they ended up just having to do the floors.


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