hale_bopp wrote:
Sometimes I feel this way about myself.
I see myself thinking, doing and saying things that are toattly jerky. I also see myself calm and collected, kind, caring and generous.
I really wish I could stamp out the Hyde. It totally sucks. Maybe I have a split personality, or just terrible mood swings >_<
We all do stupid, inconsiderate or just plain nasty things now and then. I try all my life to be what I would consider to be a "nice" person, and yet sometimes I just do things that are out of character. Before last night I don't think I have ever made anyone cry, but last night I made someone cry as a result of my selfish and short-sighted actions, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. What's more I betrayed someone who had helped me.
So yeah, I feel like a total jerk now. All I'm trying to say is, a person completely devoid of the "Hyde" section of their personality is very rare. Many other people I know (NT people not aspies) are nice much of the time but also sometimes act like total w**kers. And it even works in reverse; I have known people to act like bullies much of the time, and yet they also have a caring sensitive side.
Human beings are strange and complex creatures, subject to seemingly random whims, fears and desires, and that's something you've just got to learn to accept. You can try to repress the "Hyde" living inside of you, but you must content yourself that you will never fully kill him.