What to do when emotionally overattached to special interest

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Have you ever had a special interest or obsession that is not merely acquiring knowledge or skill in a certain subject area.....but just bizarre?

Suppose it consumes your life, and you would like to become interested or 'obsessed' with something else.......How do you switch obsessions?

I vaguely recall one or more threads similar to this topic, so apologies in advance if this is redundant in any way.....but i'm worried that my emotions are tied up with my special interest.

If special interest goes well one day, i feel great----if it goes badly, i feel terrible. Most days, i feel absolutely terrible because i can't get my special interest to go perfectly like i'd like it to..

In fact, i've rarely experienced a special interest to be a joyful thing. Usually it is an emotional rollercoaster ride, feeling like joy is just around the corner only to be let down.

However, in most descriptions of Asperger's, special interest sounds like a sterile, usually fulfilling or joyful thing......interest in a particular subject matter, for instance. Thirst for knowledge or acquiring skill in a certain area. The way it is usually described, it doesn't sound like a 'special interest' could ever go wrong, or ever be completely dependent on the environment (if you know what i mean)...

For example, do any of you have a special interest that the real world can't always fulfill or can only fulfill part of the time...or a special interest that is fragile or that you are unusually emotionally dependent upon?

What do you do when you are too emotionally attached to your special interest....Are obsessions easy to change; if so, how do you switch obsessions?

What I would call my special interest doesn't even have a name and its hard to explain to other people, but it's been the same since I was 14 (so 12 years now), its just that as life gets more complicated, I have to hang all this other crap on it so that I can keep being like a human and keep living.

I think special interests are used as a kind of "go to" situation. Because nothing else makes good sense, you just say, "when x happens, I go to my special interest" even if that really makes no sense either; its just a rule that WORKS. And it ends up being something you are naturally good at for some reason or you have the right resources around you to grow that interest, or the only person who talks to you teaches you about it, etc. Because it's the thing that lets you in.

and when you don't have access to it, or something pops up inside it that doesn't feel like it, then its like your golden rule didn't work. you get stuck. the program crashes. your browser freezes. and that's when you shut it off and pretend like that didn't happen and come back later like its the morning. you either do that or you waste a bunch of time feeling terrified and alone out of your mind, so learn to make that choice to get back up and start jumping and trying to reach that rope end hanging 15 feet above your head. and hope Lamarck was on to something.

I'm in this situation at the moment. I'm so obsessed with bus-drivers that I want to be one, which I know isn't possible because I have no experience in driving and by the time a slow learner like me has got years of driving experience, my favourite bus company would probably gone bust or something anyway so my favourite group of bus-drivers probably won't be around anyway, and these bus-drivers are the most friendliest bus-drivers I have ever come across (a lot of people have said this). I love being obsessed with these bus-drivers, but I have become a bit too obsessed, and now I just want to live a life in their world, marry one of the cutest ones, and be one myself. It is even taking over my life, because I want to get a job what is out of town so I can get this bus every day to work, and when obsessions start getting in the way of your employment issues THEN that's when you should begin to worry!

But, I read somewhere that being happy and confident is also important, and if getting this particular bus makes me feel happy and confident, then wouldn't it be better in the long run if I did work somewhere where I have to get this bus so that even if I didn't like the job it would still make me want to get up and go to it, being so one wink from a tasty bus-driver makes my day and makes me feel more confident? I'm a depressed person, have anxiety issues and prone to stress and panic, and getting on this bus (without the crowds!) does make me feel more happy and relaxed, and so isn't that also important?

I used to be very, very emotionally attached to my special interest in movies that were both directed by Tim Burton and had Johnny Depp as the leading man (movies including Edward Scissorhands, Sweeney Todd, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and especially Alice in Wonderland).

When I finally started getting bored with those movies, I felt immensely guilty and upset over it, and I kept trying to convince myself that I still loved them as much as I always did. But deep down inside I knew it was over.

It took me what felt like a very long time, but eventually I managed to convince myself that it was OK that I'm not interested in them anymore. What happened was that I decided to go just one day without thinking about those movies and see how it made me feel. When I realized that, hey, nothing bad happened, it became a lot easier to emotionally detach myself.I know I have made progress because when I first began to lose interest in Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movies, anytime I heard them mentioned in conversation or online, I would inwardly flinch and feel a pang of heartache; but lately I haven't been been experiencing that. In fact, I feel almost neutral about it.

But now my biggest problem is finding a new special interest. Everyday is boring, and I feel so empty inside. I've spent weeks, maybe months searching for something - anything - to occupy my mind, but all efforts have been in vain. Every conversation I have with family members, and most of my more recent posts on WP, revolves around me complaining about my lack of special interests. I realize that I must be really annoying to listen to, but I usually talk a lot about my special interests, and since I don't have any, it feels like all I can talk about is my lack of one. Sometimes I feel like it's driving me so crazy that I want to go back to therapy for it, but I worry that it's not a big enough issue to warrant it; that my therapist will think I'm stupid for taking up their time over not having a hobby.

These things, like all things, can go wrong.

I had a special interest, I wrote an intensive biography of the forgotten band Bloodrock. This project entailed contact with the people who were members. Relations with people can be particularly fraught. And so it was. A living hell after some years and I knew it.

Many special interests can be viewed as trees. Tree of life maybe. There are branches and there can be tangents. Little fresh shoots to take the topic elsewhere. I started writing about other bands. I started writing about deceased musicians. They posed less problems.

Look to the side of your interest. See if there's a footnote, a sidebar. There probably is. That's the exit ramp.

My special interest changes all the time. But the nature of a special interest is that you're too attached to it. I don't know that there's anything that can be done to stop the attachment. You can switch to something new... But then you're too attached to whatever's next. Besides, I don't know how to change or choose a special interest. It just happens. If I knew how to control it I'd be so happy!!