please help me get along with my family

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olliepop96
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18 Oct 2012, 8:31 pm

I am a teenage girl and I am always fighting with my parents and younger sister. I get really frustrated when they don't understand me. My mom always takes my sisters side because she catches me being rude to her but she never sees my sister do anything to me and refuses to listen to me. She always wants me to do things the way she wants and thinks she is always right. Today she was laughing about something i did that i didn't think was very funny and i got upset and she got really mad at me. My sister hates being around me and talking to me because i can be rude when she does things that irritate me. I don't know what to do. I know it is my fault also for overreacting but i have a hard time controlling my emotions. I try not to make a big deal of things (even though i still do--i admit it) but the only thing i can think of is just to stop talking to them but that would be rude and i still love my family. please help me



DannyRaede
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18 Oct 2012, 9:05 pm

I used to get in fights with my mom all the time. Little things, but it was because i felt like she didn't understand where I was coming from. Then I started to read on relationship, communication, etc, and now no more fights!

3 books I would highly suggest:

Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins
How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie
How to talk to anyone by Leil Lowndes

You can use worldcat.org to search for libraries near you that have these books, or just get them on amazon. Hope that helps!



Moondust
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19 Oct 2012, 6:34 am

I grew up exactly the same way. I was the scapegoat because I wasn't able to be sneaky like her, so I always looked like the guilty one, till it became the default that I was always the guilty one. My mother even admitted it openly, laughing, when I was already married. My parents got their punishment, though. My sister grew up to be a monster who did horrendous things to them in their old and extremely sick age. And I was the only person on Earth in touch with and taking care of both of them till they died. What your parents don't know is that by doing what they're doing to you, they're teaching your sister to be cruel to her loved ones and it'll come back to them like a boomerang when she's older. Maybe tell them my story, just by the way, as if something unrelated to anything, it may make them think.


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Xanderkish
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19 Oct 2012, 9:39 am

Have you tried talking to them about your concerns yet, and asking for them to help you with it? Often problems in familial relationships are caused by miscommunication, and if you have Asperger's, chances are there is some miscommunication going on.



Xanderkish
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19 Oct 2012, 9:48 am

Moondust wrote:
I grew up exactly the same way. I was the scapegoat because I wasn't able to be sneaky like her, so I always looked like the guilty one, till it became the default that I was always the guilty one. My mother even admitted it openly, laughing, when I was already married. My parents got their punishment, though. My sister grew up to be a monster who did horrendous things to them in their old and extremely sick age. And I was the only person on Earth in touch with and taking care of both of them till they died. What your parents don't know is that by doing what they're doing to you, they're teaching your sister to be cruel to her loved ones and it'll come back to them like a boomerang when she's older. Maybe tell them my story, just by the way, as if something unrelated to anything, it may make them think.


I think her telling her parents that they should be nicer to her because their other daughter might grow up to be a she-devil may not be the most productive of advice. If she's concerned that her sister is being mean, she should talk to her parents about it, and get their perspective.



daydreamer84
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19 Oct 2012, 12:14 pm

olliepop96 wrote:
I am a teenage girl and I am always fighting with my parents and younger sister. I get really frustrated when they don't understand me. My mom always takes my sisters side because she catches me being rude to her but she never sees my sister do anything to me and refuses to listen to me. She always wants me to do things the way she wants and thinks she is always right. Today she was laughing about something i did that i didn't think was very funny and i got upset and she got really mad at me. My sister hates being around me and talking to me because i can be rude when she does things that irritate me. I don't know what to do. I know it is my fault also for overreacting but i have a hard time controlling my emotions. I try not to make a big deal of things (even though i still do--i admit it) but the only thing i can think of is just to stop talking to them but that would be rude and i still love my family. please help me


I relate completely to your situation. No advice but at least I can bump this thread for you. :)



emimeni
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20 Oct 2012, 9:24 pm

I am often rude to my parents, too. I can't seem to be able to control my tone of voice around them (or anyone else!) very much. So, if I'm irritated, I sound irritated. I can't seem to help it.

Is there an adult you can talk to besides your parents?


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