24 Nov 2012, 3:12 pm
Being Autistic all of us feel really burnt out just by an average day in their NT world, having to circumvent with our little space bubbles, or other strageties we use to get through the day. But eventually our bodies and minds will eventually buckle from time to time. In time through trial and error learning to play by their rules. (because it's really not cool to flip out with meltdowns), even though it takes the willpower of the greatest of Olympian (context: those Gods-esses) or other sagas just to get through to Friday, and by Friday night, we recover and monday rolls around. Life sucks for NTs, they REALLY suck for us, because of our added challenges, unsympathietic or unaware NTs, really don't help things as we are taxed beyond our limitations (52 weeks a year, so 52 weekly cycles)....... It's not like we're not trying to fit in. We just don't, some Autistics fare better, some don't. (Those hollywood stereotypes of us being "spaz headed". touch sensitive jitterbugs, who don't like being touched, freak out at sounds and lights and whatever stupidity hollywood xploitations us (context: xploitation films of the 70's). It does wear down the mind and the spirit.
What are some ways that you have discovered that's your "fix", used to unwind reset yourself for their "perfect" nt world? (you know the world where people fight over just 1 millimeter of land, with bombs, and a land where they'd deny a child dying of cancer a ten cent a dose cure for cancer)
my vices:
As unhealthy and mind rotting as it is. I enjoy binge eating. for some odd unscientifically acedotal reason eating a bunch of crap before bed tends to inspire really vivid dreams. Dreams to me are like my meth. I honestly hate this waking world, it's so dull, in dreams colour tends to be clearer (it's like HD clearity, while the waking world is like those old 60's colour photos (that are like brown), In the dream world, I'm indestructable, (I've been shot at, feel into some hell river (styx I presume), hit by a pick up truck at my old work place, beat up by this dark metal death metal bully that gave me s**t in High school, yeah that's something I really want to see in High definition Plasma screen like graphics lol). But I often dream of strange cities I have never been to, people are nice or cordially indifferent to me in dreams, again there's the colour and graphics (I can actually see lined contours deeper). I'm a totally different person in my dreams, non clumsy (tripping over my own ass in the real world, (like I crash into walls so many times). Then I wake up..... 
boooo! I often find myself just wanting to sleep the entire day off. Sleeping Buddah? Shiva's dream? the Emerald Dream of Night Elve Druids? lol. So I get really pissed off at God for granting me really sh***y dreams where I'm assaulted, or I'm dealing with typical s**t in the waking NT world. Like I'm already a putz in life, why god do you subject me to this perversion. Can't I have one night of peace kind of thing.... Oddly enough I live in Calgary, and most of the strange buildings I have never seen before, are there in the exact same place same archetectual look. I wonder....
-Another vice is movies, because again of the contours of High definition, I find movies have those imagery that resembles my dreams, as if they're like a mini 3 hour dream (ironically most dreams are like 45 minutes as they say it takes all night to get to that in life). But this is costly, but alas I'm running out of movie ideas to watch.....
-With hockey season out this year, there's no hockey to watch.
